rejection in first meeting for arrange marriage...

Discussion in 'Punjab & Haryana' started by nehagandhi, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. nehagandhi

    nehagandhi New IL'ite

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    i am a post graduate girl...worked in a firm for 2 yrs.. rejected by two boys till now in very first meeting for arrange marriage.it hurts a lot.i want to know why they are rejecting me.how they decide so quickly to reject me.i am very upset and want to end my life because of these rejections..
     
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  2. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Neha,
    People come with different expectations...did you get to talk to them? Did you find out anything about them? Yes, it is bruising to your ego but how much of the real you did they reject? What do they know about you for you to internalise this as a rejection of who you are...

    What are your expectations when you meet someone for the first time? What exactly are you hoping for, when you meet the guy? These kind of meetings tend to build up a lot of pressure on you..try to look at it in perspective.

    How do your parents/family members respond when the guys' decision came thru? Can you talk to someone at home to vent or scream (if need be)?
     
  3. nehagandhi

    nehagandhi New IL'ite

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    thanx maam for your reply.......you are very right. i do have a vry strong belief on arrange marriage.but now i realised luv marriages are quit better than this.
     
  4. MyCreativity

    MyCreativity Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Neha,


    It is not about Love or Arrange marriage, life is about finding the right life partner who understands you better then rest of the world. I too have been rejected several times before i finally got marrried to my hubby in 2006 and have a happy life now.

    Mine was a love and arrnage, still there are days with stormy moments and adjustments (Wont call it compromise - that will be a wrong word) we all make towards each other to make each other comfortable and happy.

    It is a very stupid thought to end your life for a stranger who doesnt even know you, rather YOU dont know him. If ever you get such thoughts...ask yourself 2 questions:
    1) Is my life so cheap and meaningless that I must end it for a useless stranger to whome your existence in this world actually doesnt matter at all?
    2) What will happen to your parents if you harm yourself..... when they will learn that their princess...who is the WORLD to them ...had no value for the love and care with which they nourished you all these years?
    Their Heart will brake Indeed !!

    A silly unknown stranger's liking is NOTHING in front of love and pride of your mom and dad.
    You are the spark of life of your parents !!

    Believe that he was not worth having you, rather than thinking that you are rejected!
    You deserve someone better....much better.....

    The last thing dear, we are taught to dream about our dream man from childhood so we tend to become very sensitive about this issue! Being in Love is wonderfull, but why to be so sensitive that our life starts looking immaterial to us just because someone thinks we are not what they wanted us to be ???

    DO NOT keep EXPECTATIONS from anyone!
    I am not asking you to be in-sensitive...But bother your senses for those who are bothered about you.
    The day you learn to be on your own and stop keeping expectations from others ....Thats It .....You have learned to Live :)
    Live your life for those who love you, to whome you are the princess.....to whome there is no-one precious lilke you ! To whome you are the SPARK of their life....you are there WORLD !

    Hope that gives you a innersight and self-confidence :)
    Watch yourself from getting in to depression!!! Talking always helps...

    Cheers.
     
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