Raising Virtous Children

Dear V sir,

Honestly to me this seems like a post that has come from your heart and hoping for all that is excellent for the child must be coming from a place of passion about the issue. While your post may seem like you are addressing a parent, I assume you did not intend merely that way. Recently I came across a quotation (looked up but couldn't find it) and the gist of it is if we (as adults) should remember that some child is always watching us somewhere - implying no matter, a child may be watching us and emulating our behaviour. Being aware of that fact alone should help us be better as a person, not just as father/mother, brother/sister, in a typical role - that is how we teach! We all know that many factors, many inputs (nature vs nurture) play into how a child will turn out but that doesn't mean we as adults cannot do what is supposed to be the best. We may never know which child we are influencing and how and where! I passionately feel for every child that I am fortunate to teach and no matter what they say or others say, I try to teach them that I want to see that good side of them shine always, with a hope and prayer that it is making a difference and will come handy from time to time or when they need it. I think I have shared this story several times and I never tire of sharing it just like I never tire of sharing with my students on a weekly basis -



Children are our future and the best way to leave this earth for them is by 'doing' our best! We cannot lose hope. It is in our hands to be our best selves, no matter the results!

As for Bach sir, when is he wrong? Never in my world - that I can say!

While it may be very hard to explain or even understand this at my level,

across the world value systems are the same! No one ever teaches any child not to be his best. The thing is they are not just listening but are also watching.

Another week is starting - I have set an intention for this week and hope to see results. Thank you for the reminder.

 

Dear Viswa,
we are not bothered about the those amenable to discipline ever,( constituting around 15%) and those are average who can be brought into track. The worry is about 15% of kids whose parents try their best and lead exemplary life so they children can learn and emulate.But this minority are capable of attacting at least 50% of the average into their fold.It is a known fact that evil habits stick to very easily but it takes years to get at good habits.Actually I don't want to generalize on rare cases.May be they are rare, but capable of influencing younger minds very fast.The children are assets of any nation and any evil force caused by anyone
will have a severe impact.Psychologists throughout the globe have a great concern over the issue.
parents have come to a stage of'doing the best and preparing mentally for the worst'.
Jayasala 42

 

Dear Viswa,
A very good post for young parents how to bring up a child to be a worthy citizen in future. In the present scenario it is really a very tough job for the parents as the children are exposed to so many medias. Yet as a responsible parent we have to teach our children what is good and bad. As the children initially take the parents as their role model it is important for the parents to practice what they preach.

It is the aspiration of all parents to bring up their child as an ideal child. Where do we start to achieve this dream of ours?

According to our Indian philosophy the process of educating human beings and moulding their character is a process right from the womb. When a woman carries a child in her womb she is given advice on dos and dont's, not only regarding her diet, but also about her other activities. She is advised to read religious and other good books and not to read vicious books or to watch violent or sadistic movies.

From Mahabharatha we come to know that Abhimanyu learned to break the chakra vyuha when he was still in his mother’s womb while Arjuna was explaining it to his pregnant wife. Alas! But as Lord Krishna called him he could not complete the explanation how to come out of it and so Abhimanyu could not learn the secret of getting out of it.

When Prahalada was in his mother’s womb Narada was telling his mother the stories of Lord Vishnu’s devotees and Prahalada was born as a staunch devotee of Lord Vishnu.

Modern research also shows that emotions and feelings can be formed in the brain even before we are born.

Mother is the first teacher to a child. There was a time when grandmothers also were helping in bringing up children with their great story telling talent. When children were about six to eight months old, they used to keep the child on the lap and bring the hands together on top of the head and they used to teach, “Krishna Rama Govinda and
Ramakrishna Govinda,” the first spiritual lesson of the child after entering the world.In the present nuclear family system children are bereft of this advantage. In the good old days children got used to sharing things with siblings. But now the one child norm deprives the children this quality unless the parents teach them.

Children should be taught to give respect to elders from young age. They should be never encouraged to make fun of elders or domestic helpers.

When a child starts talking teach them small slokas and make them chant it before the Deity after bath.
Avoid spoon feeding when the child completes 3 years and teach them to eat food on their own. After one child norm has been adopted by couples, I have seen mothers feeding even a grown up child who studies in high school. It is not good to pamper too much or to over protect.


Personal hygiene also should be taught from the tender age. Children should be taught to brush the teeth twice a day, both in the morning and at night before going to bed.

Parents should never show discrimination between a girl and boy. Both of them should be taught to keep their things neat and tidy. We should take help in domestic cores from both of them whenever needed.

Discipline is crucial when bringing up a child. It should be consistent, but there should be reasonable boundary for the children to feel free. As a cow tied to a poll has the freedom to move around to certain space, children also need certain amount of freedom. Setting boundaries for children’s behavior helps them to learn how to behave in society.

Take the children into confidence and discuss with them financial issues and make them understand whenever necessary.

Do not push them to do anything which is beyond their capacity.
PS

 

Dear PS ma'm,

This, what you have said is true.

I cannot tell you the countless number of times I have asked children including teens who their role model is and invariably it is always the mother or the father ...even in families where parents don't live together.

All other people who make an influence can certainly do that and very effectively but children are invariably watching parents closely even if they say "I don't want to be like my mom or dad"...they are most closely watching the immediate family no matter!!!

 

Dear shyamala, Sabitha and viji,
Thank you all for liking my feedback to the post.
PS