Raising Virtous Children

Dear Syamala,

Thank you for your response. I agree with you that every parent would like their children to be virtuous. We can't expect a desired outcome in all our actions but still need to perform the actions to the best of our ability, lovingly and selflessly. As I mentioned about my wife's quote, there is no operating manual for the children and each child is very unique. In my view, when both parents are working is when they need to pay a lot of attention to virtues and how to inculcate them. When they have time, they need to build a bond with the children and plant the seeds of values and explain the rationale behind all the virtues. Well informed children making decisions on their own become stronger in future to handle any situation.

Viswa

 

@Gauri03,

I have heard that story about the saint before. You brought up a very good point that the parents need to set an example for the children to emulate. I couldn't agree more about the children emulating parents. It is also directly proportional to who spends more time with the children. Nowadays, when parents spend a lot of time in career development, it is imperative for the children to spend quality time learning about the virtues. When children were raised in the previous generations, someone are the other were always around the children like uncles, aunts, etc. telling them moral stories. Now the families are of small size and if the parents are out at work, the children spend majority of time with a baby sitter.

The schools have walked away from moral teachings under a policy there is a need for separation from the Churches. When we studied, moral used to be regular class room teaching. The teachers used to quote multi-various religions in teaching morals.

We can't be too focused on the outcome. As @1Sandhya and you mentioned above, we need a little bit of luck. We can only focus on the processes hoping the end product will take care of itself.

Viswa

 

There are whole bunch of people teaching virtues all over the world, if you look around, Cheeniya Sir. Bala Vihar classes conducted in Chinmaya Mission and Bala Vikas classes conducted by SSE teachers are intended for that. Besides, even Ramakrishna Mission conducts a lot of classes for young children. Christian Missions also teach morals as part of their curriculum. Virtues and survival are not mutually exclusive. In fact, virtues might help to make right decisions at the right time.

Whatever examples you have given, happened among a few children around the world. Even in the US, teachers misbehave with the children resulting in the children's mental health permanently damaged violating their trust. But for everyone such example, there are thousands that they do well (behaviorally) in the school unaffected by such examples. Unfortunately, in my life, it is not black and while as you say, Sir, but they are grey and the children will have to discriminate further to do the right thing. That requires a little bit of education.

Viswa

 

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

I agree with you that children are cut out of different clothes. But does parents give up when they see a child not disciplined? It is like raising a physically challenged child. As I mentioned earlier, the focus can't be on the result but in the process of raising the children.

I prefer not to call them sit-at-home mom as it is derogatory to them who spend plenty of time rearing the children. Let us call them full-time mom or homemaker. Yes. Television adds more problem to what we already have in hand. However, there has to be an effort to channel the children's energy to right things when they are young. Transformation doesn't happen by a single effort and it happens through a serious of actions by the parents and that is why I pay so much attention to the processes of raising children.

Viswa

 

Dear Hari Sir,

Very well said Sir. Life is the best teacher and there is no question about it. Sometimes, the children learn from their own experience as well. I agree with you that teaching or imbibing values can't go along for a fairly long period of time even after they grow up. We can only plant the seed and remove the weeds around it. But what happens is dependent upon many other factors including the environment, company and many other factors. Like I said, we can only manage to implement processes early but the end result can't be predicted.

The real question is whether the path of least resistance work? We raise children not because it is easy but knowing fully well it is hard. We need to do what we think is right at an early stage of upbringing.

Viswa