R-Day Afterthoughts

Carrying gargantuan picnic hampers w e used to march towards the central vista in New Delhi to take our seats along Raj Path to watch the show unfold.. If you are lucky to have an uncle as a senior government official like me and my cousins did we got seats as close as possible to the Vijay Chowk, from where the Republic Day parade unfolds,


More than the parade itself, the glutton in me waited eagerly for the show to come to a close with the flypast. So that we can spread the dhurries on Central Vista lawns and tuck in the goodies we had bought. As the birds hovered overhead waiting patiently to pick up a few scraps.

But those days, of my childhood, alas are gone and lost for ever. First eatables were banned during parade because they invited birds and potential trouble for the planes participating in the flypast. Then as security paranoia grew over the years the viewers were prevented from bringing in almost anything, ,. You can forget the food.

Like the fun quotient, even the significance of the parade seems to be ebbing over the years. As cynicism ,mostly justified because of th widespread corruption and maladministration spreads, all that rhetoric that accompany the day ring hollow.

That is not the only reason I skip the parade though I live quite close to the parade venue. The main reason is the invitation I receive every year. Yes I do receive an invitation and that invitation is one of the main causes why I skip the parade.

Strange as it may sound let us come to it a bit later. First things first. Let us start with the Republic Day eve with the president’s address to the nation.

I think President Pranab Mukherjee’s address on TV should have had subtitles . If he spoke in Hindi, it should have had English subtitles and even if he spoke in English, there should still have been English subtitles. Why not? After all the shows in the English TV channels where everyone speaks at jet speed with marbles in the mouth have subtitles to enable the Yank English challenged locals to make sense out of it.

Now President Mukherjee is certainly not a yank small screen actor. He spoke quite slowly but still gave an impression that he had marbles in his mouth and uninitiated viewers could be forgiven for presuming that he spoke either in Swahili or Esperanto.

So I could make sense out of what he said only when I read the papers next day. It So here’s a list of what he said and what he definitely meant. The latter being within brackets.. .


“Populist anarchy is no substitute for good governance (Arvind Kejriwal!!!!!!! --- --expletives deleted)-- how dare you stage a protest at Rail Bhavan).

“Give youth a chance and see how they turn the country” ( accept my salams Rahulji”)

“Vote for a sbable government” ( Of course UPA is understood before “government”

.Ah yes, now for the more serious matters the invitation. But patience. Grit your teeth and bear it before I come to the point ( Have I ever come to the point that easily?). ,. The last time I ever attended a function relating to Re0public Day is during the tenure of President APJ Abdul Kalaam when I went for the Beating the Reatreat ceremony then I beat a retreat fror ever from anything and everything that had to do with Republic Day.


Official paranoia caught on with us at the function when the security chaps objected us to carrying our car keys with the remote door opener. Remots are dicey things. Hevan knows what naughty things you can do with remotes. You can open your car door, switch on the TV and even switch off a few peo00ple’s lives by setting off a bomb. So remotes were taboo.

But we managed to get in with it because couple of guys with connections whom we knew intervened for us. But you can’t always bank on guys with connections and we had no intention of parting with the car remote. Hence we beat a retreat.

Now we come to the invitation. I strongly object to the way the invitation is addressed to me, or rather to my wife . These jokers presume that my wife is a male so it is always addressed to Sri and Shrimati S.Manjula. If my wife is Shri S. Manjula does it bhend my gender and make me Shrimati S.Manjula? I get phone calls every day addressing me as “Meenaji” that is because my number was earlier with some one called Meena (male with Meena as surname). . . Initially I was shocked and they sounded like genderbander calls (if such calls exist) but Mr. and Mrs.Manjula is a bit too much.

Hence the R-Day bocott. This is just the time I thank the stars that I a not a political Honcho. If I was not sighted at the function immediately my opponents would issue a statement accusing me of demeaning the national day with my absence..

They may issue such a statement even if I attended the function.. Take the case of poor Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal. He attended the parade and the President’s reception that followed, But that didn’t prevent BJP from accusing him of insulting the national day with his absence. Poor chaps, they automatically presumed that the capital’s first Aam Admi would stay away from the function ito protest something or other.

So ladies and gentlemen of BJP do you need any help to extricate your feet from your mouth? Or are you trying to give Congress foot in the mouth artists like Diggy Singh a complex?

 

Shyamala, the problem with watching on TV is the sycophant of a cameraman invariably focuses the camera towards the VIPs just too often and we keep on seeing the jokers whom we have learnt to hate over the years. The tragedy is R-Day has become a circus over the years losing its significant role of a cementing factor of national unity.

 

Sabitha that's the problem--speeches. Every year the President is used as a shield for the ruling party to take potshots at the opposition. The day should hae been an occasion for nation to look proudly at the achievements of its armed forces and its cultural diversity. But the tragedy is even the R-Day tableaus of government departments breathe politics. And in the present age when disillusionment with politics has spawned parties like AAP pitted against the entire political class the governmental boats sound hollow.

 

Satchi, your attitude reflects the general mindset spreading across the country with people becoming increasingly cynical even over once sacred words like national pride and patriotism. thanks to our klepto leaders. But believe me that thing about Mr.Manjula is the truth, truth and nothing but the truth.