Problem with mother

it sounds like your mother had very poor parenting skills. how was her relationship with her own mother?

nonetheless, your mom's past and present actions indicate a narcissistic personality. i disagree with other posters who suggest you don't analyze your mother and let things be. your childhood has been damaged to a great extent because of her. when a child grows up starved for mother's love, understanding and attention (inspite of her being physically present), it has a lot of repurcussions on his/her life. so, now, when you see her showering your sil with attention and love, it hurts you. understandably so. but you know what, her so-called love is based on HER selfish motives. stop sharing details about your life since you know she is not respectful of your privacy. have you ever had a heart to heart with her about what and how you have felt growing up? if you are up to a confrontation you can talk to her. be prepared for denials, defensiveness and rejection.

motherhood is always idealized by society. yet, we are human too. but, that still does not give us a free pass to cross certain lines. we all make mistakes, we also need to apologize for them. and learn fom them.

the way your mom is treating your aunt is unacceptable. please stand up for her and make sure she gets her due. just giving birth does not a mother make. help and support your aunt at this stage of her life. you don't need your mom's approval for how you and your sister choose to do that.

your future relationship with your mother depends on how much healing from past hurts is possible. otherwise, keep it to a minimum and just do your duty.

 

I agree 100% with ganaraya's post.I know a similar mom and it hurts to be with such personnel.They just want to control your life with a kind of dominance but do not want to put any effort in working on relationships.By beating and giving all punishments she must have thought she will get the "respect" and "scare" she "well deserves" as she is working(and she must have thought punishments are easy way than showing love and putting effort to make the kids realise things).Such women think they are "above all" and do not value any relationship.They bad mouth about their own children and hubby , do not trust anyone and selfish to the core.Does she have anything good to tell about you and your sister when she talks to anyone?

Ignore her and take care of your aunty.Do not feel guilty thinking that you are not doing your "duty as a daughter".Be natural and be yourself.

 

PW, is whether one of the intentions of posting your story here is to find out whether mom-daughter relationship like yours exists in the society? The reason I ask this is bcoz of my own relationship with my mom Everywhere I look, girls rave about their mothers.

But I think such moms do exist.