Postpartum Changes Women Go Through From Emotions,family,relationship With Husband And Body

This is my experience after delivery. Things that I share in this thread are truly my experience, struggles, mistakes and lesson that I learned. I am just sharing my experience. This may or may not happen to you.

I will talk about postpartum changes in

1. Postpartum changes emotionally,

2. What to expect from family during postpartum care

3. Relationship with husband during postpartum care

4. Women body changes in postpartum care

5. My schedule around the babies schedule. 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months.


· Emotionally (after pregnancy)

Tired- I was tired all the time. That will be your new normal. Accept it. Don’t fight it. Don’t try to clean the house/cook/take care of the baby. I hired a maid service, they promptly came once in 2 weeks and cleaned up. It was for first 2 months. My mother came to stay with me for the third month, by then I had known a bit more about managing the baby and things around me. So, I discontinued the maid service after the third month. If you are the type that insists on the house being clean no matter what- please make budget available for this service for a couple of months.

· Don’t be the super women.. Give certain responsibility to your husband and hold him accountable if it doesn’t get done. Don’t nag… just let it go! My husband is a co-operative guy, however, after everyday office work 9-5, he didn’t feel like doing dishes every day. I used to let it go.. and the dishes would wait for him to be done. It’s no biggie… At least the first few months.. just mentally don’t stress on anything about the household. Just sleep whenever you have time.

· Give yourself a break! YES, I said it. You just went through a major body change and you don’t have to be perfect in maintaining everything. If you take care of the baby and yourself, you are doing well.

· Everything changes after the baby comes- The husband who was very caring towards me all during the pregnancy changed in an instant and gave his 100% attention towards the baby. This emotionally hurt me. I wasn’t asked if I ate, slept or did more work. The first thing my husband after work would ask how was our son. I expressed my feeling to my husband, he started to ask me more often how I was doing during the day. Not that it made a difference, but it helped that someone around is asking if I am doing ok too. This is common if it does happen to you and your husband, just tell him to pay attention to you too.

· Hormones crash from delivery- it takes around 4 months for the body to recover from the hormones crash. It can still be a crazy time, after delivery. I was cranky from 6 ½ th month pregnancy after being diagnosed with GD, my mood swings/ crankiness continued well into 4 months of postpartum. Right around the 3-4th month, there was a switch that turned on getting me back from being cranky to the sweetish girl. However, it took until 6th month for me to completely not be cranky or agitated or paranoid. It is ok to feel that, don’t feel ashamed. Tell your husband ahead, so he knows not to be offended. It's not like I was agitated all the time, any small things can tick me off. It's like this--one min I would be talking, enjoying coffee (something ticks me off) I am exactly the opposite the next min- I would be paranoid/ overthinking/ crying.

· Baby Blues- Right after the delivery, some women may feel a bit depressed. It may include mood swing, sadness, insomnia, and irritability. I faced Baby blues- For the first two weeks, I was way too cranky, agitated and even paranoid after I got back from the hospital. I never felt I couldn’t take care of the baby or suicidal. In fact, I can tell that I became a perfectionist in keeping the baby happy. I would do everything not to make the baby cry! Even now my husband’s complaints that I overdo with maintaining the baby’s routine.

· More about Baby Blues- Baby blues is like feeling all emotions at once (sometimes you don’t even want to accept these emotions exist within you). YES, that’s how I felt, I was happy coz I have a tiny baby who is sleeping in my room, I was tired, I was overwhelmed by all the information, I was nervous if I am doing everything right, I was getting less attention from husband,less attention from everyone (everyone will talk to me just about the baby and not about me). These feelings can get way too complex and when I was feeling all these things at once, I just ended up crying for no reason or way too many reasons unable to express. It is ok to feel baby blues and hormones dropping after your delivery are the main cause. Make sure you and your husband are aware of this phase and have as many friends/ family come to meet the baby/ Skype helped me. I didn’t stay at home much. I was allowed to take walks after the 6th week of delivery. I took the stroller and baby out too. Get fresh air.

· Postpartum depression (PD) is more severe than baby blues. Postpartum depression if only considered when there are suicidal thoughts and inability to care for newborn. This happens because of hormones crashing after giving birth and milk starts to flow. Your OB will talk to you about PD during the later stage of your pregnancy around 33rd week. If your OB suspects you are a candidate for PD, she will ask you to have a couple of session with therapist. It is better to start this during pregnancy rather than later, with the baby.


· Winter is a bit harder- try to have florescent lights in the house, this helps big time. Even for the baby to distinguish between day/ night.Consult your OB and if advised start to take Vitamin D during winter.

· Try to have a weekend planned- This helped us big time. My husband and I didn’t confine ourselves indoors. Maybe the first month we didn’t actually plan out the weekend. But, quite soon we made sure we kept our self-busy on weekends. We planned one-day trips. Temple/ beach/ friends house (invite yourself)/ invite them. This planning and actually going through with the plan and getting out of the house helped me emotionally. The process of getting ready ( baby/ me) itself is something that I looked forward to.

· If you have family in the US, ask them to visit you and the baby. This helped me quite a bit. Having family time feels good.

· Listen to calming music/ shloka’s/ classical.

· I watched loads of Kannada movies around this time.

· Being an emotional wreck is common during postpartum and it is one such topic which isn’t spoken about (Indian families). My mother could see me go through most of the stuff.. but she had forgotten about her postpartum, she hardly could give me advice before hand or even after delivery. Try to talk to your mother/ aunt/ family support system or recent mom’s/ friends who have given birth how they handled it. Because everyone faces things differently.

· Good luck and happy hormones ride.

 

@ILUser07
I hadn't discovered Indusladies ! Trust me... I would have been so happy to be here and asked a lot of questions when I was going through a lot of it by myself.

 

@ILUser07 - Sweety Please contribute to this thread how you went through postpartum with MIL. I am sure you will have a lot of things to say. This is my emotional outlet of saying what I went through and I could have done better. This thread will help a lot many women in our positions.

I didn't have my mother until the third month. If you have read my previous thread about Postpregnancy Care- you will see... I refused my MIL's support. I am very thankful that my husband supported me in my decision. I am very grateful that he didn't insist on my MIL being with me.

 

Please talk to your OB or even PCP. They will help you.
Although, I wasn't given a therapist to talk to.. I know that around 33rd week I was made to fill out a form from OB how I was emotionally coping. My OB talked to me in detail about my husband/ family support, after the baby arrived. And when I said no family support inital months.. she did give guidance that I would be taught to handle baby at the hospital.
That reduced a lot of stress of not involving MIL

 

@Jazmine83
No, unfortunately my husband and I didn't do the pregnancy counseling. My husband and I participated in birthing classes/ baby CPR/ Baby Handling classes. Is it different from these classes? My OB didnt suggest us to go for counselling.

 

@Jazmine83-
Thanks for contributing to this thread I am sure couple of women will find this to be useful.
How I wish I knew about Indusladies awhile back. This would have helped me a lot to know before hand.