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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by priyabala87, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. priyabala87

    priyabala87 New IL'ite

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    hi all,
    i m getting married by feb.. at present i am not employed anywhere.. but my fiance says i need to get into a job after marriage.. can i manage both my family n job? i need some suggestions regarding this topic.. if so, what type of jobs i can prefer? looking for a job in which i can spend tym with my family also..i m an engineering graduate.. ladies pls help me with your suggestions plzz..pls..
     
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  2. spuppala

    spuppala Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Priya,

    Congratulations !!
    You can very well manage both family and job.It needs little patience and planning.Job gives you a feeling of self respect and also helps you to get a chance to explore and meet so many people and places.It is your comfort in choosing the type.If you don't want to go for any software company try joining an engineering college and take up a lecturer job.But however your interest and commitment is important here.

    Wish you good luck.
     
  3. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Yes You can easily manage job and home togather. Try to find a job suitable to your qualifications and near your home where you are going to live after marriage. That way you can save time of cummuting. I know in india commuting is very tiring. Tell your fiance he should contribute in some household chores i.e. you both divide work equally. you can take care of cooking, laundry and he can take care of cleaning, grocery shopping, dishes etc. Talk this before marrige itself. Its always good to be financially independant that way you will be in touch with outside world, your mind will be occupied, you will be more confident and smart.

    In initial period of marriage you both should enjoy max time togather so you can hire maid for some time. Don't nag him for anything. Talk sweetly, don't compete or fight for household chores. GL
     
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  4. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    well, discuss in detail about his expectation regarding job since u may not get a job as and when you wish for and it should not become an issue for daily fights.
     
  5. AnanyaAjay

    AnanyaAjay Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Priya,

    First of all, congratulations!! So tell me are you going to live in a joint family? If yes, there shouldn't be much problem for you regarding job and managing house work, as you will have people to help you. If not, then also you can very well manage as most of us are doing, if you plan for it well. You won't have much work as you will be only 2 people, so if you hire a maid for extra work like cleaning vessels and washing clothes, etc., you will get ample time for cooking and spend time for both of you.

    Also please understand why you need to work. I mean, if the situation demands for it, you will have to work. are you ready to work? I mean as you are not employed now, if you are a fresher its OK, but it will be a bit (very little) difficult to get a job after a gap between degree and till now. Think it, discuss with your would-be hubby, and PLEASE MAKE SURE THEY ARE NOT MONEY-MINDED PEOPLE. I am not discouraging you, but want you to understand there are people who make you work even if you don't want to, sometimes. One of my relative had to work till 8th month of her pregnancy even if she wanted to resign. She didn't require to work in that stage as they were well off. But those money minded people didn't want to lose a single rupee coming to them.

    Please don't get afraid, I hope you get my point. Coz at this time you won't be able to see the negative sides but later you shouln't repent.

    I hope this won't be the case, I mean if your family needs a supporter financially, then you have to work as you are also part of the family.

    all the best...
     
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  6. IlovemyMom

    IlovemyMom Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    It's better to go to work after marriage. It gives you confidence and self respect. If you plan well you can easily manage. If you want go in the technical side try to find a job in your field. Else you can try in BPOs(check if there are shifts). Also make sure that you would get enough help at home either from your husband or in-laws.
     
  7. priyabala87

    priyabala87 New IL'ite

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    thanks a lot spuppala.. yes i understand.. my interest is very well imp here... thank u very much for ur valuable suggestions
     
  8. priyabala87

    priyabala87 New IL'ite

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    hi ananya..
    we r not going to live in a joint family... i was working for 2 yrs and my plan is to look after family after marriage as we don't have any demand for money.. mine is an arranged marriage... my in-law's opinion is to look after his son after marriage and they don't have any specifications regarding my job and as well.. but my hubby personally feels that i need to get into a job to fulfill his financial needs.. as far as i m known he has bought a property in which he is planning to settle at least half d amount of debt within 1 yr of married life.. and also he personally feels that he has some inferior feeling to introduce myself to his friends as an housewife.. i cannot agree to this point f him.. at times he corners me with this argument which really irritates me.. he earns nearly a lakh per month and i seriously don't know why he wants me to work again.. and he is very clear in his point f argument that i need to manage both house n work.. i m little scared regarding this issue.. i m seriously in a mixed emotions regarding my post married life n this issue.. i seriously dont know how to solve this.. does it ll be solved if i go to a job? kinda confused.. :(
     
  9. priyabala87

    priyabala87 New IL'ite

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    thanks a lot :)
     
  10. priyabala87

    priyabala87 New IL'ite

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    exactly.. i m tryin to make him understand the negative sides too.. i seriously dont know wat he is upto :)
     

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