Please help.... My Son.. What should I do...Really Confused..

indianpunjabi · Dec 16, 2013

Hi everyone. I am a married Punjabi mother from Delhi working in Bangalore. My son is 1.6 years old. Due to my strained relationship with my husband (He is presently in Hyderabad and I was even thinking of divorce at one point of time) I went to live my parents when my son was 3 months old. When my son was 1 year old, I got a new, really good job in Bangalore which I took; thinking that I will have to look after my son, his education upbringing etc. But unfortunately had to leave my son with my parents in Delhi. My parents are really supportive and take very good care of my son. Now I am planning to leave my current job and move in with my husband, but I am really confused about my child. Will he be ok with me and husband. Will the baby be able to adjust without my parents. Obviously, my son is really attached with me, but definitely looks upon my parents for most care and comfort. Will it have any psychological effect on my child. Can someone help me in this.. I really feel like crying sometimes.. Really confused..

Rakhii · Dec 17, 2013

Welcome to Indusladies. It is natural for babies to be attached to the people who provide care for him/her on a day in and day-out basis. However, its still not too late for you to start being a parent (hope you don't get me wrong, i mean no offense) and start living with him. We all have to do things which are very hard for us. I bet it was heartbreaking to leave him there without being there for him. Sometimes we have no choice but to o what is best for the family.

Yes, its going to be very hard for the first few days without familiar faces around. However, if its possible, can you call your parents to stay with you until your son bonds well with you and your husband? That would be the best scenario.

simpleMom · Dec 17, 2013

Ask your parents to live with you during the transition. That will solve all your problems.

kn543 · Dec 17, 2013

kids get adjusted very easily. As he is quite young he would search for your parents for a few days. But as he already is attached to you, the transition would not be difficult for him.You and your DH should try to spend more times with him during the initial days.

indianpunjabi · Dec 17, 2013

Thanks everyone for all the replies.... Its really encouraging....
Regarding my family... My parents and my husband do not get along with each other... Infact, there have been times in which my husband has misbehaved with them...
My parents have really gone through so much, so I would not like them to move in even for sometime, especially while I know both the parties dislike each other.
Thats why I am just more worried...and doubtful...
I will try my level best from my side to make my son feel secured and comfortable. But just wish it does not have any psychological effect on my son and he does not feel abandoned...

Priya16 · Dec 17, 2013

you raise the kid with grand parents for 2-3 years, at the end there preference would be parents.

You go to your parents place and stay there for 2-3 months ,get bonded with your kid and then move to your husband place. I hope your husband is ready to provide comfort environment for the child.

guesshoo · Dec 17, 2013

Hi dear,

Hugs to you. I suggest your parents start telling your son already that he will be going to stay in mum and dad's house soon, and get him excited about it. It is surprising how much a little child can understand. In case he already talks and asks any questions about where the grandparents will be, they should tell him that they'll be right there and will look forward to his visits. Preparing him will be a huge step in the right direction.

Good luck
G