1. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Please Guide Me

Discussion in 'Pujas Prayers & Slokas' started by SRMB, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,642
    Likes Received:
    1,972
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    wow. :worship2:
     
  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,690
    Likes Received:
    5,150
    Trophy Points:
    383
    Gender:
    Female
    Your criteria seem quite reasonable to me :) OP don't compromise on anything is my suggestion. To reach where you are a lot of hard work goes and looks wise you say you are gifted then why compromise on anything? The right person is out there. Just a matter of time. If prayers and vraths helps you and family to stay positive keep doing it.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,099
    Likes Received:
    2,234
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    I think its was not like getting married after completing the vrath. They were taking it for years on every Monday.
    I stayed in a working women's hostel for sometime in India long back where I met many ladies (close to or above 30s that time). They all were taking this vrutha, poojas, visiting temples.That's how I came to know about it. I came to know that they all got good grooms within a few years. I remember one lady in particular, all she had was a government job, (no money, anything else), but finally she got a very good groom, another govt employee. I was so happy for her. My close friend, highly educated, topper, high position, had gone through the same situation. She was ready to compromise when she crossed 30's. But finally she got an IITian with a great job and from a good family. I remember she was in temple all the time- praying with so much devotion. It was too much stress for her as she had younger sisters too. But I believe that, your groom will appear only in destined time. I wrote all these to give you some positive vibe.

    I don't know if vrutha helped them (scientifically), but the devotion. But I think its the positive energy it brings helped them. Also the belief that someone will come for them. It helped them to over come the stress too. In my case I know my mom did the pooja part. So stay positive. May be the universe helped them. Whether you take vruth or not, have that intense wish inside your mind. Prayers help to focus on it. Stay positive

    “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
    ― Paulo Coelho,

    But I urge you to take the control in your hands like I mentioned. Try to create profile in matrimony sites and filter good candidates and shortlist and give to your parents. Do it proactively. That may help. That's what helped me ( its not easy from local search) I agree with @SunPa , as we age and if we have high level education/salary, our choices will be limited. So actively participate in this process. You need a global search to find the right one.

    But don't compromise too much. It will not bring any happiness. An educated groom from an educated family with good values, money doesn't matter, he can make if he is educated . Most important is some one with good character,values, who love, accept and respect you and treat you equally. Someone you can connect to.. (inquire well about the boy, family etc.. too). All other things are secondary. Take your own time, its better to be single than married to the wrong person.

    May all your prayers come true.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2019
    SunPa and Thyagarajan like this.
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,235
    Likes Received:
    4,285
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    My friend did this puja. But within first year of doing this puja she got married and after tat she visited tat temple with her husband for the next 2 years.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,235
    Likes Received:
    4,285
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    When the perfect time comes no one can stop the marriage.
    You have already got plenty of great suggestions. Patience is the key.

    As everyone suggest you need to involve even in filtering the prospective grooms!
    There are chances tat the profile your parents rejected may be liked by you.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  6. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    279
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female

    From your points above it seems like education, good looks and economic status are your top-level filtration criteria.

    In our family circle, I know the "great looking" grooms of the family who will sit cross-legged on the sofa and expect to be "hosted" while the daughter's mom and dad are hurrying around making sure his visit is comfortable. The haughtiness from their good looks shines through and I've rolled my eyes watching this as I grow up.

    But the true "catches" of the grooms in my family - were the grooms that could get in to the kitchen and joke with the mother-in-law as she makes coffee just the way he likes it - because she loves the compliments he showers upon her in earnest. They were not known for their looks - but they were the loved and warm ones.

    All I am trying to say is - do compromise on "looks", "education" and "wealth" - because a great personality/character is what is going to shine through amidst all the realities of life.

    Can I call you my sister? :-D I grew up with a little too much confidence of being an academic topper - but when you get in to real life - you realize topper-ranker-medalist - all of it is only a ticket to get to the next step. The confidence it grants you with - is valuable but other than that there are many thousand colleges in India/world - and every college has a ranker/topper every semester and every year. One soon realized, the "tiny pond" isn't one's world any more. The people who do wonderfully well in their careers and personal lives - rarely is there a correlation with their grades in school/college.

    And the fact that you showed your post to father - sounds just like something I'd have done 7-8 years ago - bubbling with absolute love and a generous sprinkling of naivete.

    If you were my sister, I'd say - go the dating route for a while (I know this was not the question of your post at all). I think it'll teach you a lot and be quite an enriching experience - if you do or do not find someone that way. (You won't have to get physical/intimate at all - it should be completely your choice). Because from what you write and say - I believe you will learn from the experience of putting yourself out there. I feel like you're a little protected and sheltered right now - to be able to form your own opinions and choices.
     
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,235
    Likes Received:
    4,285
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Well said!
    All that glitters is not GOLD
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  8. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,121
    Likes Received:
    3,570
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
    Thyagarajan and SinghManisha like this.
  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,642
    Likes Received:
    1,972
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
  10. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,121
    Likes Received:
    3,570
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    What !! when you buy (into) something to settle down for a long haul, there is nothing funny about that at all.

    When USA resident desi-girls get prospects via some matrimony portal, and the telephone behaviors seem compatible, they arrange a meet. And if that gauntlet challenge is also overcome, there'd be the painful decision of one of them moving to the other's location (with the loss of friends, colleagues, work-spouse, familiar street corners, services, etc. etc.) and whether or not what one would gain would make up for all of that. And what if there are hidden, or unforeseen stuff, that only surfaces after the move to a new location ?

    I may have responded to one IL'ite (cannot remember which thread, or the name) to consider all that, & discuss that as well in the first face-to-face meeting also.

    This is not just a foreign living desi issue. It happens in India a lot. A well-employed girl is convinced (by the cacophony of hundreds of relatives) that she ought to marry that "suitable boy", even though he is employed in some far away place with no potential employer for her education, experience and etc..etc.. And she goes with it... only to find out that her life had been lost forever. This sort of thing hardly ever happens to a "boy" in the arranged marriage scenario.

    I am not always advising against a matrimonial move.... in fact, I had also advised a move in one forum thread: Sunshine04 and SinghManisha like this
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019

Share This Page