Play Date Friends

... similar things happened to me. And mommies have too much going on in their life other than following kid. They are just happy that they are in someone's house, other than their own, seeing chores all the time, and they get busy chit chatting.
For kids, it is just play, war and peace but it ultimately spoils olders/mom's relationship.
May be try to have palydates in park or backyard.
After 1-2 meetings, you will know how well behaved are kids or how moms are in managing. If you think, things are getting messier or beyond patience, cut that down or arrange outside.

purpose of having playdates are kids having fun and having social life or interaction. They they get that, no matter what moms get .

I have to start getting into playdates. So far, I have doing one on one with few couples. Lesser mess and we eat good food. I did not find any bigger group like you guys yet.