Permanent Damage!

It really saddens me to know that you are going through this . So he is just short tempered? I mean is there any physical abuse ? How is he with the kids in general? I would suggest counselling. Since he is really stubborn a professional can maybe help. Hope things get better!

 

You have a nice situation. A short tempered guy is now calm and courteous.

DONT GO AND SPOIL IT. As long as he is courteous, make him be so, as long as he can hold that behavior. Eventually that may become his second nature. At that point, you can pat your own back for training the beast correctly. Just don't give in and make him go back to abusing you with his temper ever again.

You have him, where you ought to want him. Losing a few IC's (I used to call them nookies, but I learnt that IC is what the IL's call them) is a price that is well worth the training period.

 

I have been advised when dealing with a short-tempered spouse to "be smart, and not do anything that may make her angry".....

In the long run , that is just the victim being blamed, but in many cases, that is a bitter pill to swallow for the greater good

 

OP, It will pass. I am sure
If he is nice to you as a room mate, be nice to him like a room mate. If he gets angry, just walk away from the scene, don't respond
I think he is trying to make you feel that you are the problem and expecting you to appoligize.. you already did that .so don't try to do it again. Take a stand like, you don't care even if he walk away( I am not asking you to really do that, but act strong). Be patient, don't go for any argument, try to be happy or act as happy with yourself . Also find time for your self, groom well, take care of yourself, find 'me time' and enjoy. Don't expect anything from him..Remember happiness starts with you...
I think slowly everything falls in place.
If he tries to talk, listen, but be firm that you are here just for your kid... if he loves his kids, he should behave well because kids learn from their father too.. Anyway calmly observe him . Being happy and confident is the best punishment one can give to a person who try to neglect you

You are the best one to assess your situation. These are the steps I took when I faced similar situation..and it worked for me

Belive me ,the dialogues like ..you can leave me...or I am here only for kids etc.. are common tactics used by men( see other posts on I L).They affect women much being emotional creatures. Once you learn to neglect or ignore it you will get peace of mind.
Just behave as if you are happy being a roommate and you are doing it for your kids.. walk way from arguments . Give respect and take respect. Don't bend your head too much...be happy yourself, this will pass, I believe

 

I know this must be a big torture for you. A short tempered husband and no physical intimacy can make you really insecure. Are there any physical changes in you off late - like you have become fat? Work on that if that's the case. Your husband is a monster because he initiated the fight, dragged it and then blamed you, now he is keeping you at bay either to control you or for reasons best known to him. Keeping distance like this is not good, but you cannot do much except remain calm in this situation. It happens sometimes. If you try to address this situation there won't be much use. In-laws are always irritating. Mine too - they made sure we fought with each other, being the only son, they should have advised my husband to go for a kid sooner, not at all, instead they blamed me every time. Other than displaying jealousy and contempt, they did nothing else. For such people, manipulative b***** are right. The least you can do is ask him in a calm manner why he is keeping a distance from you. Or else be a total tough nut and behave as though you are having a party. Unless there is no other reason, I would say you take the latter approach but keep working on yourself in the process and improve so that everyone around you praises you - bring some positive change in yourself so that he gets attracted to you. Don't bother about him for a while if he does not respond to talks or convincing. To stay bonded with people is in your hands to the extent that you control yourself, not others. Pray to God daily that He changes your husband, trying to change DH's mind by worrying and confronting him will not work for you.

 

Sad, but you will have to work it out yourself. A marriage counsellor might help. All the best.

 

Hugs to you dear.. this too will pass on.. when you try to be very submissive to your, they start taking advantage of the situation. Instead stand up for yourself. Make him realise you too have a life and you choose to live it your way. By being straight forward nothing will work out. Show him you can be happy without the intimacy part. Dress up for yourself and feel good about it. Start feeling happy from within. Maybe ignore him once in a while ? Never apologize for what you have not done. It will make you feel meek and vulnerable and you tend to start projecting yourself that way. Be confident and ever change your behaviour when you are hurt or frustrated, stay calm. Do not respond to any abuse. It will fuel the male-ego! Be courteous in your behaviour and affirmative at the same time. Start enjoying life with your child. Children are the best stress busters.. and always remember, no one can ever hurt you unless you let them do it. Cheer up girl!

 

I cant even.....
OP - please please know that this IS NOT something you need to consider.