Parents calling inlaws

Your MIL's plan is to a) not invite your parents and b) tell everyone who ask about them that your grandfather expired. Both these actions are hurting your feelings.

Give your husband two choices. He should invite your parents himself without your MIL's knowledge. When they attend, your MIL will be disappointed that her plan did not go through and can't say anything. I presume in the presence of all relatives, she would behave like a wonderful person. If your husband is not willing to do that, tell him that your DD and you will spend time with your parents right after the event to have another function arranged at your parents' place at his cost and hosted by you and your DH. Tell him that in this function, all relatives of you and your parents will be invited but not his parents. Make sure your daughter is celebrating this happily and it is much more important than anything else. Good luck.

 

Wow, I like vishwamitra's idea.
Dear I hope you will tell this to your h.

 

Its your child's birthday. You and your DH invite your parents and whoever you want. Even your DH doesn't you invite them. You have all the rights. Let your DH tell his mother to order for more lunch as he has invited more people. Just stay cool and happy as if you were not affected by your mil's comments. Don't let her have the pleasure of you being hurt.

Let your parents call them as usual. Because of your mil let them not loose their naturally being good.

Create an opportunity to talk to all her relatives casually conveying the message that your grandfather is getting better so that let them know that your mil has lied to them, if she had told them what she told you.
and let them not wonder that your parents are attending the function after some sad happening.

Have a great New Year. Wish your grand success of the function.

Regards
Manjukps

Regards
Manjukps

 

So the b day party for your daughter is over. Did you not attend?
Concentrate one thing at a time. You have lot of mil's drama going on.
According to me her mistreating your parents is the least of it right now.
You have child with you but you don't have your day to day living comforts. So, even your h is not affected by it.
First forget mil find out from h what his future plan is?
How long you will be sending 50 percent of your salary. You need to set an exact date.
Does your h own the part of the property which your h is financing by paying the debts. If not does you and h think one day he will inherit it.
Does your h feel he is the parent to your bil. So how long is he going to take up his responsibility.
Once you sort out this major issues with your h you need work on ignoring
your mil and leading your life.

 

Looks like the party was done without ur parents... Very sad to know that... All of us gave u some tips to control ur MILs behaviour and also invite ur parents, but looks like u did not make any attempt to do anything and ur MIL went ahead and said a big lie about ur grandfather....

Now, ur again back asking for suggestions and opinions, but dear if u don't take any steps to do anything, how do u think ur MIL will stop ill-treating u??? Unless and until ur bold enough to face her, I don't think any kind of suggestions from anyone here is going to work out... Let her beat her chest and do what she wants... If u guys ignore her cheap tactics to get things done as per her wish, she is going to stop one day... How long will she keep doing this when nobody bothers about her??? U and ur DH need to ignore her and do what u feel is right, dont get scared of her beating the chest and speaking bad words... I think she is watching too many serials and she must have learnt all these tricks from there... Let her understand that all this works only in serials and not in real life...

 

If you seriously want to get out of this situation, there is ONE AND ONLY ONE WAY of doing this. It is high time you and your dh put your collective foot down and said "NO. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH". You are the ones who are allowing your mil to behave like this. If you do not object or tell her in very firm words where she gets off, why would she stop behaving in a way that is to her advantage? We are firm even with babies who throw tantrums. They are taught that bad behaviour will not be rewarded. You on the other hand are doing precisely that with your mil.

If you had a machine that spouted out endless money, why would you stop using that particular ATM? It's the same with your mil. If you give her all the money she demands, why would she stop demanding? BTW, are they really in need of money? Do they not have enough of their own?

So now it is really upto you and your dh to take some firm steps to end this behaviour.

 

The more you dance to her tunes the more she will make you dance. Things said about your grandfather are not right. Imagine these are the values your kid is growing up in. If you dont take a stand on anything you will continue to stay like this. It is upto you to speak up. And why blame inlaws only. Where is your DH in all this? Is he ok with his mom treating his wife and her parents like this? Sorry to say, but these things can be sorted out pretty easily if the husband just opens his mouth at times to speak his mind.
In my case, my MIL (lives in diff city) wanted us to come for a certain function and all my family and relatives had to fly down (which obviosuly my father has to pay). And after that, she was planning the next function again where she stays(no, she is not so old or poor to fly). I told my DH clealry, that tell her its not possble to keep the function there since we want office friends also to attend. I was against the idea of spending all my only childs imp functions with just 4 ppl (from IL) and some ppl neither my husband nor I knew. but fortunately, DH is understanding and reasonable(well,sometimes ). Thats why I was asking why ur DH is not doing anything.

 

Excellent Cheerfulalways. Am really glad that your dh has woken up to reality and is not denying the basic facts. If he is reasonable, it is more than half of your battle won.

Good for you. I really hope things only get better from here on.