Oldage home VS staying with children in old age

subbi · Jun 18, 2007

Dewdrop said: ↑

Hi friends,

My FIL is the most easy-going, undemanding & flexible person, even more so after my MIL passed away many many years ago. He was living with his 2 other sons in our home in India. We kept requesting him to at least visit us here in Dubai, for few months ------ he flatly refused saying he'll be bored. No
temple, no walks due to heat, no friends to chat / play cards, no neighbours kids to play & baby sit etc. Once the brothers got married, hell began for him ......cold noodles for b'fast while the sons got hot milk & idlis ; no midmorning coffee, no snacks, not even watching TV or hot water for bath !
Good rice /meat for them but only ration rice for my FIL ! Though they have a servant/maid, the spineless sons were at the beck & call of their wives & THAT hurt my FIL ! Still he didn't say a word to us, kept lying that he was fine....until he got a heart attack ! Only then, a neighbour told us how his spirit had been tortured by them.

My husband being the eldest son, was furious with his brothers & literally begged/pleaded/dragged my FIL to come & stay with us in Dubai. Still that man very stubbornly refused, saying he will not cross oceans to another country !! But thankfully he was very willing to stay in a home for aged ----- it was a very very good one ; excellent food, medical care, only 2 people in a room, TV, paper & magazines etc. So, we kicked out the brothers, sold our home & put that money as deposit for my FIL's stay in that home & he was very very happy there. His health improved by leaps & bounds; he made lots
of friends, read as many kumudams & ananda vikatans, saw whatever channel he wanted ..... he was in bliss !

But then one son came & said sorry, give us the money you're giving this home & we'll take care of you --- we'll also give you horlicks / keerai/ fish --- your grandkids are missing you etc. etc. My foolish FIL stupidly believed them & though my hubby threatened that he wouldn't speak to him again, he stubbornly walked out of his happiness into that hell once again. And he never recovered........

Yes friends, after the first 2 days, their torture started........they had even kept a huge stone near the connecting door to the toilet 'cos his going to toilet at midnight spoils their sleep !! Are they humans even ?? He has pleaded with them not to leave him alone & go for a wedding 'cos he hated being alone....... they lied saying only 2 days, they'll be back. They left him alone for 5 days ......
By chance, a cobbler woman passing by happened to see him lying alone IN HIS STOOLS !! As she was washing him, his spirit gave up ...... his heart was broken ; he felt unwanted ; he left for a better world. They had literally left him to die !
What a worst way to die ....ALL ALONE....for a wonderful human being ! Till date, my husband hasn't forgiven his brother or accepted his father's death.

A human life is most valuable ; please don't hurt your parents unknowingly ; a little bit of patience & love is all they ask in return for having brought us into this world & raised us without even thinking of their needs. They may be too proud to openly ask for it ....... just give them a spontaneous hug & kiss now & then ; it'll wash away all their aches , pains & fill up their lonely hearts !

With love,
Dew.
Click to expand...

Dear dew
excellent. it is time children realise these small things make parents life better. really very touching reality
subbi

sunitha · Aug 5, 2007

This write-up appeared in today's issue of 'The Columbus Dispatch'. Thought of sharing this with you all.One thing that struck me was one sentence which says that India's respect for her elderly citizens is now declining.

The Columbus Dispatch : For cheaper care, son moves his elderly parents to India

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Oldage home VS staying with children in old age

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