Of Dogs and Doggies

Of Dogs and Doggies<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />​

​

​

Today I read that lovely touching blog of Panchali, and before that, I saw this article in the morning, yes u guessed it right, DNA again, dt 4<SUP>th</SUP> june. Classy one. And its been a while I havnt written on Tuffy and Bingo, so here goes the mixture of doggies.




Mumbai dogs are richie rich, I mean their owners, not the gods, I mean dogs. Now some pet owners it seems have put dogs on a vegetarian diet. Can u imagine a Gujju or a Jain in Mumbai feeding meat and eggs to their dogs ?


Gada (sounds like Gaddha a donkey in translation) the owner of a dog called Pushy, says” Pushy is well fed, dosnt crave for nonveg. The Vet whenever they take him there, compliments Pushy’s parents, sorry owners, that he is healthy, I mean pushy not the Vet, and not lacking in nutrients.


Its rice , veggies, lots of Tofu ( an expensive variety of Paneer tasting thing) and a fair indulgence of peanut butter and honey cookies, or cakes for Cadbury, an 18 month old Crocker Spaniel, and Yogi, a Golden Reteiver.

TB cooling it out today morning, after the heavy showers yesterday, the mud is wet, and they bring it all in the house, and u can hear Harsha scolding the rascals.




Wassi Shroff, runs a home delivery service for pet dogs, called Homecare Dog Food Pvt Ltd, says “ 3% of our orders are for vegetarian food” . The rates per meal range from 50 to 120/-. They cater to 600 dogs in the city, of course all rich ones !


Now here is where my brain takes over. A dog needs two meals a day, so if u average a meal at 100/- , that is 200 per dog, multiply that by 600 homes, that makes it Rs.1,20,000 a day sales. Assuming cost of a third, of the food, a third cost for staff, and a third of profit, that makes it a profit of 40,000 a day net, no taxes to be paid at all, for those who pay for the dog food, don’t want to show it in their returns, so they pay cash, and this fellow pockets it cash.


Brother giving tuffy a weekly bath. I have to tie him the muzzle, for he tries to bite otherwise.Tuffyis getting cranky with age, can i have to tempt him with Marie Biscuits a dozen of them before i am able to muzle him.




Now that makes it a net profit of 12 lakhs a month, which turns out to 1.50 crores a year, man not bad at all in any which way. And look at the beauty of this business.There will be no complaints from the consumer, that is the dog, for a dog cannot talk, leave alone complain !!!


So these people save on ghees, oils and salts and sugars, which is an extra profit. And u can buy the cheapest broken rice, and cheap vegetables , who will be the wiser ? The owner will not come and taste the dog food, nor will the dog keeper !!!

And tell me any business, which fetches so much, put in cash in the morning, no credit, and u get back cash by the evening. Whoever thought of this idea, is a genius, and he should eb giving lectures at Wharton University, a la Laloo, and I am sure the universities will empty out , and everyone comes running to India, for u have great opportunities if u think out of the box, like this fellow.Hats off, for your brilliant idea.


My Vet was telling me something interesting. He used to go see a dog, of a rich man, who bought a farmhouse, and left his dog there with the guard, so that the dog guards the farmhouse.


He have cash to the skinny caretaker, to buy his dog, x litres of milk everyday and some Rotis , and after a month when he went there, the dog was skinny and the caretaker looking plumper.


He called the Vet, who told me , I understood the problem, the caretaker was drinking away the Dog’s milk money, so they now give Dog Food to the Dog.And the caretaker now has started to slim down, and the dog has started to grow fatter. Which caretaker would steal a dog’s food.HAHA !!!


Tuffy and Bingo are fine . Tuffy growing older and crankier, he gives a good ragging to Bingo when he comes with brother in the morning, barking at him, not allowing him inside, but in the end they are friends.


Tuffy eats his food quickly when we tell huim, if u don’t eat Bingo will come and eat.Bingo takes a lot of time, just keeps staring at his own food, and Tuffy waits fro an opportunity to steal Bingo’s food, and since the last one week, Bingo has started to grown menancingly at Tuffy, when he see Tuffy eyeing his food. Bingo’s motto is, it is my food, whether I eat it or the birds, don’t u dare eye my food !!!

How Time Flies.Bingo as a pup a few weeks old !



You know i feel sorry for the poor veg dogs, now that even mine are veg.Our previous dog, Naughty a pom, was a bi, eating both, and all my bones went to him.


Our neighbour then , a Marwari, used to give his dog veg food and our fellow had nonveg.


i used to joke that even Dogs have heaven and hell. the house of my neighbour is Hell for a dog, and just this side of teh wall is heaven for the Dog, with meat, fish, chicken and the works.


Even if i were to be born a dog, it will be a privilige, for i consider them better than most humans.And i hope a Sindhi as a master, not a Gujju or a Jain !


And even as a dog, i wish i could blog Wow Wow to u guys then .Lets see.



KAMAL MAHTANI





A very very clean Poem, please take it cleanly, there are a lot of dirty minds here
Mangta Hoon to deti Nahi



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar – Tum Bathroom Mein Achanak Kaise Ghus Aye ? Tumh pata nahin ke Main Naha Raha Hoon ?
Nauker – Sorry Sir, peeche se Baal Khule Dekh, mujhe laga ki Madam Hai !!!




Wife – Shall I tell u one thing? But don’t beat me please
Husband – Say ?
Wife – I am pregnant.
Husband – this is good news. Why were u afraid
Wife – During college days, when I told Dad this, he beat me black and Blue !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her BF – This week everyday we will see movies
Next week everyday we will do shopping
BF – Next week after that , we will go to <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:CITY w:st="on"><ST1LACE w:st="on">Temple</ST1LACE></ST1:CITY> everyday
Wife – Why so ?
BF – We will stand in line with the other beggars, to Beg !!!

=======================================

 

Dear Sri,

Sambhar and Dosa are good for us humans, and we have a choice too, what we want, pets are left with no choice, they have to eat what their woners give them ! And their natural instinct is towards flesh, they will happily eat a dead animal on the road !

cigar in their mouth ! :biglaughthat is a good one, and a point well made, Sri.

Well Kuch Nahin, i have not yet served them, HAHA

I do not know the story of Yudishter, and the dog, well my TB will follow me where i go, they are as faithful.:biglaugh

thanks.

kamal

 

Dear Ganga,

Now yr FB is good to cheer me up.:biglaughWell yes even dogs have heaven and hell u see.HAHA

Thanks.

kamal

 

Dear Mallika,

Well yes even the IT guys can take this up, even in cities like Banglore, and Chennai, where the rich people have dogs.And for this business yu dont need a degree, just soem street smartness.

See suppose Shahrukh Khan or Rajnikant have dogs, they can afford to pay 200 for the food of the dog, no ? One has to just target the rich segment that is all.Even a school dropout can open this business.:biglaugh

Well harsha does shout at them, they like to get wet in the mud, for it cools them, poor fellows, but they bring the mud inside.i keep telling her, if u want the house clean, then wish the dogs be dead, or if they are alive, we will have to live with the dirt.Same thing, like a small child in the house, they mess up the house, na ?

Thanks and yr comment also bring a smile to my face.Thanks for thelovely FB.

Where has Nats disappeared ? tell him to come.

Regards

kamal