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O General

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    O General

    This is not about the AC of the same time, pretty expensive one that. At least I cant afford it, this is about the General whose date of birth is in question.

    I am writing as a layman, I don’t even know if a major is bigger than a leitenant or how many ranks are there in the army. Just that this matter bores me to death when all news channels are having a debate on when the General was born.

    Many have two dates, u want to know why ? Now here is why. There are schools who will admit a kid at 3.5 years. And the schools open in July here. So suppose a kid will be 3.5 years in March, so by july he will be older and hence not selected, what do the parents do then ? He is overage then. So here the fudging begins, and u can get new birth certicicates for a price of a few thousands perhaps.

    For a kid who is 3 years this year in Julky is too young to be admitted, and next july he will be 4, again he will be nopt selected , as he will be older than the age the school requires him or her to be.What do the parents do then eh ! They don’t educate him at all, bcs he was born in a wrong month.

    Look at me, I too have two dates of birth, rather 3 of them.Mom says I was born a day before Janmashtimi in 1953, thank god they remember the year, for I was born at home so no municipal records exist. And 1st Sept is there is some places, and passport says 3rd September. Some people like the Eunuchs are confused by their sexuality and I by the date of my birth. Since I am n ot famous, there is no scandal attached, just imagine if I was the General in question, I woiuld have been crucified by the media, for having 3 birthdates. No wonder no astrologer can make my horoscope, for when the guy does not know the date of his borth, forget the time , how can he make it.Kamalji can make all the stars and Rahu Ketu go haywire eh !

    No wonder I did not become a famous person, for I have many skeletons in my cupboard, the girls whom I liked and wanted to marry, they wanted to make my their brother and not husband, as a General, all the officers would have laughed at me if these dames came out with the truth, I wouild have been the laugbhing stock of the army, the nation, and would not find chullu bhar pani to drown in.

    So God made me an Ex Porter, u know what a porter is , a coolie, who carries others load, and I carried the Govt of india’s load , and helped them earn precious dollors, some of which I well I took myself in between, and made myself comfortable. And no one in this contry is bother ab out a coolie, be it current or an ex like me. So all the skeletons are lying still in the tupboards, unsued and new.

    And I want to ask the General, why do u want yr DOB to be a year older ? So that u can have one more year as the head of the army? Do u know once u are out of the army, all the perks go, they will disown u, as they do to others who retire from Govt service, u are left all alone, they salute u as u are in power, oince u are out of it, they will salute the new one , so the salute is to yr seat and not to u, dear General.

    So why not retire, take yr pension and other benefits, and play with yr grandchildren, and enjoy the govt perks, and read some religious books, which will show u, that this is a world of greed and opportunity, and that u are now better off without the trappings of power.

    And make friends with me, I will teach u how to blog, how to send nonveg jokes to friends, and how to live an ordinary life with fun and laughter, and enjoy the simple life of as a common man.

    The choice is yours, go to courts, and be in the chakravuyh of this nonsense, or join ha nds with me.

    “O” General, when will u listen to me eh !

    KAMAL MAHTANI

    Husband – I was I was Lord Ganpati, then u would have worshipped me, and fed me ladoos and sweets.
    Wife – Is that so? Well I too wish then that u were Ganpati, every year I would have done your Visarjan,and broguth home a new Ganpati !!!!!



    Two difficult things to do in life are
    1) To plant your idea in someone else’s brain
    2) To put some one else’s money in your pocket
    Well the first one is a BUSINESSMA N ( read Kamalji)
    And the one who succeeds in both is called the WIFE !!!



    Egyptian Lady to Santa – Only we know how to make pyramids and Mummies
    Santa – you just come behind the pyramid and I will make u Mummy !!!



    Teacher – Tell me name of any microsoft product
    John – MS Word
    Suresh – MS office
    Kamalji Jun iour – After a lot of thinking said MS Dhoni !!!



    Defination of a Holdiay

    Holdiay is the day when the man stops doing what his BOSS tells him to do
    And starts doing what his WIFE tells him to do !!!



    Govt keeps saying that , ladki ki padhai se 4 log shik**** hote hai
    Koi yeh puche unse kicollege jane se jo 40 ladke fail hote hai, uska kya !!!
     
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  2. Aspire

    Aspire Gold IL'ite

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    Kamal Ji: The General, I understand, as mentioned in his petition that he is ready to retire if the Govt of India so wishes, but will retire with dignity and honor.

    What I cannot believe is why a 30 minutes job cannot be completed by MoD in their end to resolve this issues which is more of administrative correction.

    Worst, this has been going on for so many years and I sure understand the General's lament.
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Aspire,

    i just dont understan d what th e issue is, and why thge govt and the general in question is so keen to resolve.

    Even General CAriappa too had this problem and i am sure many will have it.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  4. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji,
    This has become the prestige issue between the general and the government.The media is blowing it up day and night!
    So you are having 3 date of births to your credit. My hubby and myself have two! One official and one the actual date of birth. But the birthday is celebrated on neither of these, but on birth star! Aha! We too have 3 birthdays.

    Enjoyed your write up,
    Love,
    PS
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Kamalji
    most of us Parsis have 2 birthdays.. one is the DOB and the other is as per the Parsi Calender.. and most of the older folk don't know their DOB but only the parsi one.. even my mom celebrates only our Parsi bday... my son being a mix of parsi and bengali.. has 3 bdays.. one is Parsi / one is DOB and he was born on Rakshabandan day.. so the Hindu Bday...
    Media nowadays makes a hype about everything and so its a prestige issue with both the parties involved.. the minute they have another sensational news this will be kept under the carpet...
    jokes were good
    K
     
  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji!!!!!!!!!What? DDo you read religious books as you suggested to the general? Reading your blogs one gets the impression that you are a spirituous (with reference to spirits in the bottle) person and not a spiritual one. May be a few pegs makes one spiritual. (According to your country cousin Asaram who when caught by some people while having a drink said in his case it was a spiritual act).
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Pushpa,

    so 3 birthdays fior u eh ! HAHA. i celebrate the 1st of Sept as mine, rather i dont celebrate for i follow the chinese saying, that birthday is one year closer to death.HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea r Kelly,

    So u are a parsi eh ! All religions have their own calenders, we sindhis too have our own, all linked i suppose to the position of the moon and the stars.your son, well all girls will tie him rakhi on his birthday eh ! What a day for a birthday to be on.My daughters is on valentine's day.HAHA

    yes what u say is true. i used to watch the news on ndtv at night, as i took my first drink at 9, and now i see just discussions.First we had Anna ones, then this DOB, now Salman Rusdie's and then tomm something else, i am sick so dont watch TV at all these days, rather read novels that i picekd up from the pavements of mumbai.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    '
    i dont read religous books, i stay away from them.HAHA

    That is wonderful what u say, spirituos first time hearing this word, but a right one perhaps.HAHA

    Asaram the less said the better, he is a disgrace to our commun ity. May his soul rest in peace.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  10. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    This is again a news item I had not heard of kamalji - now thanks to you I get the news and can't stop fuming about how many important things the media could be dng other than this.....from what I have gathered from your post and the responses, I think in all fairness the general has done his job, probably served the country for many years than the government, he deserves the honor.

    Enjoyed the write up kamalji, really there are so many things that need to be brought in line starting with the birth certificates I guess.......

    And Kamalji, I just read this from a friend and thought you might like this - I believe it is from TOI comparing the current diverse combats between the govts & army chiefs of India & Pakistan -

    " In India, govt fixes army chief's age.
    In Pakistan, army fixes the govt's age !!! "
     

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