O General This is not about the AC of the same time, pretty expensive one that. At least I cant afford it, this is about the General whose date of birth is in question. I am writing as a layman, I don’t even know if a major is bigger than a leitenant or how many ranks are there in the army. Just that this matter bores me to death when all news channels are having a debate on when the General was born. Many have two dates, u want to know why ? Now here is why. There are schools who will admit a kid at 3.5 years. And the schools open in July here. So suppose a kid will be 3.5 years in March, so by july he will be older and hence not selected, what do the parents do then ? He is overage then. So here the fudging begins, and u can get new birth certicicates for a price of a few thousands perhaps. For a kid who is 3 years this year in Julky is too young to be admitted, and next july he will be 4, again he will be nopt selected , as he will be older than the age the school requires him or her to be.What do the parents do then eh ! They don’t educate him at all, bcs he was born in a wrong month. Look at me, I too have two dates of birth, rather 3 of them.Mom says I was born a day before Janmashtimi in 1953, thank god they remember the year, for I was born at home so no municipal records exist. And 1st Sept is there is some places, and passport says 3rd September. Some people like the Eunuchs are confused by their sexuality and I by the date of my birth. Since I am n ot famous, there is no scandal attached, just imagine if I was the General in question, I woiuld have been crucified by the media, for having 3 birthdates. No wonder no astrologer can make my horoscope, for when the guy does not know the date of his borth, forget the time , how can he make it.Kamalji can make all the stars and Rahu Ketu go haywire eh ! No wonder I did not become a famous person, for I have many skeletons in my cupboard, the girls whom I liked and wanted to marry, they wanted to make my their brother and not husband, as a General, all the officers would have laughed at me if these dames came out with the truth, I wouild have been the laugbhing stock of the army, the nation, and would not find chullu bhar pani to drown in. So God made me an Ex Porter, u know what a porter is , a coolie, who carries others load, and I carried the Govt of india’s load , and helped them earn precious dollors, some of which I well I took myself in between, and made myself comfortable. And no one in this contry is bother ab out a coolie, be it current or an ex like me. So all the skeletons are lying still in the tupboards, unsued and new. And I want to ask the General, why do u want yr DOB to be a year older ? So that u can have one more year as the head of the army? Do u know once u are out of the army, all the perks go, they will disown u, as they do to others who retire from Govt service, u are left all alone, they salute u as u are in power, oince u are out of it, they will salute the new one , so the salute is to yr seat and not to u, dear General. So why not retire, take yr pension and other benefits, and play with yr grandchildren, and enjoy the govt perks, and read some religious books, which will show u, that this is a world of greed and opportunity, and that u are now better off without the trappings of power. And make friends with me, I will teach u how to blog, how to send nonveg jokes to friends, and how to live an ordinary life with fun and laughter, and enjoy the simple life of as a common man. The choice is yours, go to courts, and be in the chakravuyh of this nonsense, or join ha nds with me. “O” General, when will u listen to me eh ! KAMAL MAHTANI Husband – I was I was Lord Ganpati, then u would have worshipped me, and fed me ladoos and sweets. Wife – Is that so? Well I too wish then that u were Ganpati, every year I would have done your Visarjan,and broguth home a new Ganpati !!!!! Two difficult things to do in life are 1) To plant your idea in someone else’s brain 2) To put some one else’s money in your pocket Well the first one is a BUSINESSMA N ( read Kamalji) And the one who succeeds in both is called the WIFE !!! Egyptian Lady to Santa – Only we know how to make pyramids and Mummies Santa – you just come behind the pyramid and I will make u Mummy !!! Teacher – Tell me name of any microsoft product John – MS Word Suresh – MS office Kamalji Jun iour – After a lot of thinking said MS Dhoni !!! Defination of a Holdiay Holdiay is the day when the man stops doing what his BOSS tells him to do And starts doing what his WIFE tells him to do !!! Govt keeps saying that , ladki ki padhai se 4 log shik**** hote hai Koi yeh puche unse kicollege jane se jo 40 ladke fail hote hai, uska kya !!!