O General

O General​

This is not about the AC of the same time, pretty expensive one that. At least I cant afford it, this is about the General whose date of birth is in question.

I am writing as a layman, I don’t even know if a major is bigger than a leitenant or how many ranks are there in the army. Just that this matter bores me to death when all news channels are having a debate on when the General was born.

Many have two dates, u want to know why ? Now here is why. There are schools who will admit a kid at 3.5 years. And the schools open in July here. So suppose a kid will be 3.5 years in March, so by july he will be older and hence not selected, what do the parents do then ? He is overage then. So here the fudging begins, and u can get new birth certicicates for a price of a few thousands perhaps.

For a kid who is 3 years this year in Julky is too young to be admitted, and next july he will be 4, again he will be nopt selected , as he will be older than the age the school requires him or her to be.What do the parents do then eh ! They don’t educate him at all, bcs he was born in a wrong month.

Look at me, I too have two dates of birth, rather 3 of them.Mom says I was born a day before Janmashtimi in 1953, thank god they remember the year, for I was born at home so no municipal records exist. And 1st Sept is there is some places, and passport says 3rd September. Some people like the Eunuchs are confused by their sexuality and I by the date of my birth. Since I am n ot famous, there is no scandal attached, just imagine if I was the General in question, I woiuld have been crucified by the media, for having 3 birthdates. No wonder no astrologer can make my horoscope, for when the guy does not know the date of his borth, forget the time , how can he make it.Kamalji can make all the stars and Rahu Ketu go haywire eh !

No wonder I did not become a famous person, for I have many skeletons in my cupboard, the girls whom I liked and wanted to marry, they wanted to make my their brother and not husband, as a General, all the officers would have laughed at me if these dames came out with the truth, I wouild have been the laugbhing stock of the army, the nation, and would not find chullu bhar pani to drown in.

So God made me an Ex Porter, u know what a porter is , a coolie, who carries others load, and I carried the Govt of india’s load , and helped them earn precious dollors, some of which I well I took myself in between, and made myself comfortable. And no one in this contry is bother ab out a coolie, be it current or an ex like me. So all the skeletons are lying still in the tupboards, unsued and new.

And I want to ask the General, why do u want yr DOB to be a year older ? So that u can have one more year as the head of the army? Do u know once u are out of the army, all the perks go, they will disown u, as they do to others who retire from Govt service, u are left all alone, they salute u as u are in power, oince u are out of it, they will salute the new one , so the salute is to yr seat and not to u, dear General.

So why not retire, take yr pension and other benefits, and play with yr grandchildren, and enjoy the govt perks, and read some religious books, which will show u, that this is a world of greed and opportunity, and that u are now better off without the trappings of power.

And make friends with me, I will teach u how to blog, how to send nonveg jokes to friends, and how to live an ordinary life with fun and laughter, and enjoy the simple life of as a common man.

The choice is yours, go to courts, and be in the chakravuyh of this nonsense, or join ha nds with me.

“O” General, when will u listen to me eh !

KAMAL MAHTANI

Husband – I was I was Lord Ganpati, then u would have worshipped me, and fed me ladoos and sweets.
Wife – Is that so? Well I too wish then that u were Ganpati, every year I would have done your Visarjan,and broguth home a new Ganpati !!!!!



Two difficult things to do in life are
1) To plant your idea in someone else’s brain
2) To put some one else’s money in your pocket
Well the first one is a BUSINESSMA N ( read Kamalji)
And the one who succeeds in both is called the WIFE !!!



Egyptian Lady to Santa – Only we know how to make pyramids and Mummies
Santa – you just come behind the pyramid and I will make u Mummy !!!



Teacher – Tell me name of any microsoft product
John – MS Word
Suresh – MS office
Kamalji Jun iour – After a lot of thinking said MS Dhoni !!!



Defination of a Holdiay

Holdiay is the day when the man stops doing what his BOSS tells him to do
And starts doing what his WIFE tells him to do !!!



Govt keeps saying that , ladki ki padhai se 4 log shik**** hote hai
Koi yeh puche unse kicollege jane se jo 40 ladke fail hote hai, uska kya !!!

 

Dear Aspire,

i just dont understan d what th e issue is, and why thge govt and the general in question is so keen to resolve.

Even General CAriappa too had this problem and i am sure many will have it.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Pushpa,

so 3 birthdays fior u eh ! HAHA. i celebrate the 1st of Sept as mine, rather i dont celebrate for i follow the chinese saying, that birthday is one year closer to death.HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dea r Kelly,

So u are a parsi eh ! All religions have their own calenders, we sindhis too have our own, all linked i suppose to the position of the moon and the stars.your son, well all girls will tie him rakhi on his birthday eh ! What a day for a birthday to be on.My daughters is on valentine's day.HAHA

yes what u say is true. i used to watch the news on ndtv at night, as i took my first drink at 9, and now i see just discussions.First we had Anna ones, then this DOB, now Salman Rusdie's and then tomm something else, i am sick so dont watch TV at all these days, rather read novels that i picekd up from the pavements of mumbai.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Balaji,
'
i dont read religous books, i stay away from them.HAHA

That is wonderful what u say, spirituos first time hearing this word, but a right one perhaps.HAHA

Asaram the less said the better, he is a disgrace to our commun ity. May his soul rest in peace.

Regards

kamal