Not Such A Good Idea To Confide In Friends!

I feel it's not such a good idea to discuss too much of personal stuff with friends..even if they are close friends...unless the friend is a BFF and very trustworthy and good...
I had made many good friends during school college and work days...but I find that apart from occasional meet ups when they are in town, and hi bye messages and festival greetings there is not much that should be shared..because...as per my experience and general observation..
1. Most friends would just be interested in exchanging pleasantries and not interested in hearing about anyone's problems or personal issues..
2. They may have bigger issues in their personal or family life or professional life or health that they may or may not share..
3. Some maybe extremely frustrated with their life and happy to hear that someone else is struggling equally !( sad but true ).
4. If there is friends group it becomes subject of gossip..one friend will reveal problems of one friend to all which becomes a discussion for time pass..also lead to envy when one feels that other is leading better life or feels that others are not having much issues, in life etc..
5. Some friends would listen and show genuine sympathy and genuinely give suggestions at that time..but they are not ready and not interested to invest time and efforts after wards as they have so many other friends and so much busy and no time..
6. Some just lack maturity and are majorly thick skinned and don't have much consideration or empathy for others...one of friend was very pretty popular and happy go lucky type..she came to know that one more friend was facing some problem in marriage in newly married days and passed many insensitive remarks, and also make some direct and indirect jokes about the situation...imagine how it would have hurt ...many years down the lane after she got married, stayed with in laws, had a baby and juggled work and baby in a foreign country she is a lot more softer and mature and grown up..of course not everyone changes..
7. Many a time friends drift apart and make new friends so closeness isn't there to discuss anything..
I really value friendship...but really instead of our personal issues becoming object of other gossip it's easier to just vent out in an online anonymous forum...and not be judged..what say?

 

Yes..glad to know you share my thoughts.

 

Yes...true friends should do exactly that...but very tough to find such friendship these days..or maybe I've not been very lucky to have such deep friendship in spite of having many good and close friends..

 

Thanks!

 

I didn't really understand your reply...And in what context you shared quote of other thread posted long back...
Is it a well meaning advice to me not to confide in anyone, or share any secrets wit friends? So that I won't be taken advantage of?

 

I did have a lukewarm experience with a friend of mine whom I knew since many years..she had called and chatted with me regarding a major personal and health issue faced many months back..i really spent time in advicing her and bringing her out of her depression even though I was busy.. and followed up with her many times to know if she was ok or not...I met her twice after that and the closeness which was there earlier was just not there now..it's sad..we had a meet up with a few mutual friends and she was more interested in taLking to them than me..I felt a lil sad n ignored..I tried staying in touch after that too but she never responded to my calls or messages ever...Either I am not as important to her to she is going through some crisis herself..whatever, I have decided once and for all that I will deal with my problems myself and not rely on Any friend to give me emotional solace. I won't make this mistake again..
.only during student days when responsibilities are not there we can maintain close friendship..as we grow older and wiser and move ahead in life the dynamics change...