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Not Interested In Having Child!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Hana2018, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Platinum IL'ite

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    :hello: I wish I had thought of Saint Mother Theresa. Well said.
    Regards.
    God Bless Us All Always.
     
    sindmani and kcb like this.
  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I totally understand your decision.

    But, looks like you have made this decision based on your bitter past. Unlike some other couples, who genuinely hate having kids for other reasons, yours sound a unique reason to me.

    While reading your post, I remembered one of my best friend in School who lead somewhat similar life like yours.
    Her mom died when she was 2, and she was the only child then.
    Her dad re-married immediately and had 2 kids with his new wife later.
    Her step mom abused my friend since early years, and treated her like a nanny just as you explained in your post.
    Till the age of 17, my friend lived in hell, knowing nothing about love or affection but in fears and tears all the time.

    That's when her maternal uncle visited their place to give his marriage invitation. Looking at her face (She resembled her mom exactly) and her pathetic condition under her step-mom's control, each and everyone from her maternal side (including maternal grand-mom) felt extremely sad; hence they pleaded to her dad to take her home with them.
    She didn't know anyone of her maternal relatives until that day, and felt really uncomfortable to move in with them at the age of 17.
    But somewhat, fate dragged her there and that was the beginning of her good luck.

    she experienced the real motherly love from her grand ma, and maternal aunts.
    Fatherly love from her maternal uncle.
    She became a common child for all her maternal relatives, and everyone took turns to pamper her, as if their lost sibling (her mom) came alive to live with them.
    She got better education, and better life at their place.

    Then she met her love of her life, and got married, and eventually settled in a better life in Canada.
    She has two kids, and she loves then dearly by considering everything that she missed in her childhood.

    The lesson behind this story is to tell you that, you can always love, and treat your children regardless of your childhood.
    But if you have other reasons to not to have a child of your own, then it is your choice.
     
  3. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Congrats for all the achievement especially for finding cure for cancer and donating written books. U have done a great service to the society ma'am.
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Platinum IL'ite

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    :hello:@vrikshakadali @ashima10 @kcb @sindmani
    THANKS for tapping LIKE option.
    GOD BLESS US all always.
     
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  5. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you ladies for all your suggstions. Currently in process of making it happen ( I mean informing all about our decission).
     
  6. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    pls keep everyone abreast with ur progress...believe me there r so many people who wd be inspired by u ..all the best to u
     
  7. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies,
    My in-laws visited us for 3 months. The Kid topic came. This time it was face to face. Discussions went on for 3 weeks, They tried to change our mind but they could not. My mother-in-law was always quite cold towards me because I am not from that rich background family than 2 of my other co-sisters. Now she started comparing me with others and praising the last bahu. I'm always deaf ears to her words.
    I feel she told this news to all her relatives. People have started speaking in a different manner. Sometimes I feel bad why can't people don't mind their own business.
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Ignore what others say. You can't make everyone happy. First they are upset if you decide not to have kids. Then they question why you had only 1/2/3... kids. Then why not a girl, a boy and so on. If you have made a decision you're comfortable with then resolve to live peacefully.
     
  9. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Senior IL'ite

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    You are right.. I started acting deaf ears to people's words. I don't understand why people treat childless couples as sinners.
     
  10. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Recently few weeks back I noticed that all the indian ladies in my neighborhood they will gather for lunch, dinners or festivals or birthday parties. Most of them they don't even invite me. One lady she told me directly it was my kid birthday gathering I thought that what you will do come here so didn't invited you. Sometimes I feel bad but later I feels it's good to avoid such kind of gatherings and unnecessary talks. Right now I am kind of odd-man-out.
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.

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