No Communication,feel Suffocated !!!

hi ladies , im posting in this forum after a while.

Little bit of my background for ladies who doesnt know me in this forum , i have had difficult relationship with hubby for quite a while. Have been feeling taken for granted , no respect , no consideration , complete change of behavior negatively in front of in-laws, fulfilling unfair demand of him family along with extended family behind my back ,these all have been things i have been getting from hubby.

About me, I'm educated , independent lady with 2 years old handsom baby boy , i work in big company in quite reputed post, i'm successful in most of the aspect of my life apart from married life.

I'm pregnant with my second baby , its not planed and happened unexpectedly(i wouldnt have dared to plan second baby in not happy marriage), but now it happened ,i cant change the fact and taking the news very positively. On the other hand, hubby seems like forgets i'm even pregnant, he just needs excuse to shout at me , hurt me with his words, in first pregnancy , he was so caring and supportive towards me, this time he doesn't even care if i have eaten or not( not i expect him to but still it just feels weird). He comes home from work, eat and stay in his laptop/phone/TV until 12 , me being pregnant i feel so tired at the end of working day , after dinner i go to room to rest . I expect him to come to bedroom on time and have a little chat as i feel so lonely and emotional , may be pregnancy hormone. Sometimes i get lift from him to work , even on whole way , he doesn't talk to me at all , it feels like im with stranger. I have even told him relationship needs communication and commitment , but he just ignores me . So i feel so taken for granted, i m just there to work hard to earn big bucks for him and wife to show ppl around , that is all.

He is planning to invite his sister and her husband from backhome for 2 months, I politely requested him it will be difficult for me to look after guest in pregnancy with full time work and hyperactive baby. But he just takes my suggestion as disagreement and makes fuss about that . For avoiding his fuss and silent treatment i said Ok (even if my decision doesn't matter to him). I dont know how I'm going to manage when they are here for that long with hubby like that.

I just keep wondering is this marriage really worth it? This man is always angry at me , doesnt really understand my situation and has no consideration towards me , Even after doing everything at home from earning to managing all at home , i never get any appreciation, he doesnt talk much to my side of family, and i'm not expecting much of support from him in this pregnancy and delivery. Is he doing this because he thinks im having second baby and im bound to stay with him no matter what he does to me ? I definitely feel its not going to be easy to separate/divorce with second baby on the way. But sometimes i feel its better to be out of it than staying in relation where you are always lonely emotionally and physically anyways. IS there anything i can do to change his behavior towards me ? Or if i decide to separate , is it really very hard to manage with 2 kids ? I know all these negative thoughts are not good for baby inside me , but i cant help it , hence i thought i needed to tell someone about it all ,so asking you all wonderful ILs for advice?

 

hi SCK , thanks for your reply.

His bond with first baby is great , he loves him to bits, he only has got problem with me .

Regarding me going to stay with my parents , i live abroad and my parents live backhome ,so this is not possible in my case.

I dont know how can i make him realize my importance, staying away from him in this condition abroad is not easy, even if i would ,his false ego would only increase his anger.

 

We have had few very bitter moments in past , him hurting me than me hurting him. we talked abt it and i dealt with his complaint (his complaints was i stop him from looking after his family financially ,which isnt true , i only questioned him when his sisters and their kids would demand very expensive gift items like SLR,ipad, iphone ,laptop etc regularly), now i dont check on finance anymore ,thought money is not more important than inner peace, so he has full control. Now his sister want to have tour of London and UK with her hubby because of obviously brothers's carefree nature .As much as im not liking that , i cant do anything . After all , he has started disrespecting me more now . He just is bitter and angry towards me for no obvious reason.

 

Thanks Rihana , leaving guest for him to take care of and take around with is what im planning as well. Whether they/he will like it or not , its different story.