OP, Looks like you tried and finally accepted the fact, you cannot make him responsible financially anymore or in future. I too agree not to waste time to change him, when you have passion , potential and the offer. You can rely on two things fo the benefit of your kids, MOM and CAREER. The biggest credit is your mother staying with you. Your brother and relatives stay close to your place, incase of emergency she can take thier help. utilise this oppurtunity to build your career now. Your work nature, availablity of oppurtunity, are unknown to many of us, so working in foreign land or in your local place should be your decision. 1. After gaining required experience, keep looking for opening in your local city. Do not think of getting simple job and disturb your career ladder. 2. Invest part of your earning for kids education or on property. Don't share the details to your husband. He may become even more lethargic. If he questions you, you ask him about credit card thing.