Need Space And Me Time

Dear Pushpa,
You have wonderfully expressed what is in everyone's mind.The reason is we didn't have a concept called'me time' and'my space'.Whatever we did for the family included 'my happiness ' too and there was no lack of 'my space'.
Once this feeling of 'my time' and 'my space'appears there seems to be a feeling that we are separated from a family and that we need a separate 'identity' of our own and this becomes a troublesome factor.In modern days ,when women are burdened with domestic and responsible official chores, these feelings are likely to recur and a wise time management can solve the problem.
Jayasala42

 

Dear PS ma'm,

However it has come about, it is nice to see that you are beginning to enjoy this phase too. I know transitioning from a busy life style to this is not easy.

I do take some me time but I have never tagged it like that. It is only when I choose making a painting or reading a book instead of doing dishes. I have been fortunate to have that liberty. It is a different story that there will be a pile twice the size but it is what it is!

 

Dear Pushpa,

As long as the relations between family members in a joint family is genial, there won't be much problem in getting along. I grew up in a family, where the family members had frequent altercations and there was always a clash of egos. I couldn't study properly under such an atmosphere and many times I have longed for the Me space. Even now, it is still a struggle to get some time for myself amid family commitments.,

Agatha83

 

Yes, probably the 'me time' or 'my space' is a relatively new concept in the context of Indian society. However, it is not totally new (although it was probably not referred to by those names which make them sound very selfish).

I have heard my mom (who used to be on her feet morning to night) that she wanted to run away from all of us. Was it because she was selfish? I don't think so. When there was no one at home she would keep doing household chores to keep busy. It was not that she was socializing or putting her feet up ..... So I can only imagine that she wanted to just do her work without the constant jabber and noise around. That would probably be called 'my space' today.

I can fully understand young women today in joint families, hemmed in as they are by hectic work schedules, catering to the demands of the elderly (if only they would be more considerate such feelings would never arise), constantly being told what to do and how to do. It is but natural they would want some time to be themselves and to lead life as they wished.

I work just to keep my conscience clean and to have some degree of financial independence. However, the major chunk of the day is my own. I have no one to 'take care of' or to 'cater to'. Whatever work has to be done, meaning mostly getting domestic help to do whatever has to be done is for the benefit of myself and my husband. Despite that I have to admit that the most precious moments are sometimes when no one is in the house. Even so there would be hundreds of nuisance calls, sales people etc knocking at the door. And then I too want to 'run away to the Himalayas'. The days when BH is away, I tell the cook not to come. The maid comes, lets herself in, does her work and goes out. Those days I lock the door from inside after the maid leaves and the feeling of having undisturbed time to myself is so precious. (Not to say, there are other times when I really miss the hustle of family and social life as we knew it a few decades ago.) So it has nothing to do with 'selfishness'. It is more the need of peace and tranquility we humans long for in between this mad rush. People in older times found their 'me' time when meditating, praying, doing pooja etc.

Come to think of it, maybe we as a species are slowly learning to go inwards instead of always being oriented outwards. Is that not a good sign of spiritual progress?

 

Dear Smt. Srinivasan:

When my objective becomes keeping everyone around me happy, the time I spend in doing that becomes me time. There is no difference between time I spent with others and time I would like to spend deriving happiness. Only occasion when I need me time is when I work towards investigation who am I, why I came into existence, where are my thoughts coming from and what is the purpose, etc. Even then, that is not me time if we look at it from the body's perspective as our divine consciousness always present with us. If we look at it from our divine consciousness, there is no you or I.

Viswa