Need Help !! What Mistake Am I Doing ?

To me he seems to be paranoid and I would not advise and kind of discussion or countering the allegations.
It is very important to go for counseling if you want to save the marriage. You have 2 kids and because he is a good father, it is my view that you should try your best to save your marriage.

I agree on
#2 & #3 DO NOT PUT HIM DOWN, it will only escalate.
#4. Keep your chin up and be proud of your accomplishments

Paranoia is a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.,

There is stigma attached to mental illness. You need to look at it as an illness and try to help by going to your doctor before going to counseling. The doctor may give some medication. Counseling by it self may not be enough. If can be treated and have a normal happy life.

 

Sorry for what you are going through. I am sorry to say this but your husband’s behavior is not normal. I think he has some psychological issue that marital counseling may not help with. Being out of work for long time may also point to this. Is it possible he is imagining things ?

 

What exactly is the issue here?

 

what was he referring to "the 50K"
Did he loan your cousin or anyone 50K anytime?

 

Marriage is a partnership. Now you need to be strong for both. You can do it. You are a smart girl.
Remember, it is not him. Don't take what he says personally; it is the mental illness. It is important to get diagnosed.
If one has cancer, you get treated; this is no different.