Nanny or Day Care?

tuliplady · Dec 10, 2011

Dear Ladies,

I know this might be discussed a lot on this forum, however I really need a perspective on whether to go for a nanny or a day care.

I am in the 4th month of my pregnancy and due in May 2012. I know I still have a lot of time to think about these things, but want to make an informed decision.

Myself and DH moved back to India last year and both of us are research scientists in good jobs. I plan on working post delivery as well, and both of us do not have the option of working from home. We both finished our postdocs in the US, and started fresh jobs in India. Recently we invested in a new house as well, so basically we will have to make EMIs and most of our savings have gone towards the home downpayment.

Given the situation, even if I wish to take a break (though I don't think I can be a stay at home mom), I cannot. I lost both of my parents quite young, and if there will be any one to support and help my baby, it will be my MIL. I have plenty of support from her. Though she can be here for my delivery and few months following that, she cannot be here until 6 months, due to my SIL's wedding in 2012 later.

I cannot get more than 3 months of maternity leave. In this scenario, which option to go for? I have heard from few colleagues that day cares in Bangalore do not take children less than 6 months of age. I somehow am not able to trust my child with a nanny alone.

How do working women who do not have much support from parents, manage? would really like to know your opinion. Sometimes these things really make me nervous. Would I be able to devote the much needed attention to my child?

Rakhii · Dec 10, 2011

You know TL, this was the first thing which was going on in my mind too when I fell pregnant in April. Hard decision isnt it, but we have to make some kind of decision before delivery itself to keep our minds at ease. I also cannot quit and I also do not have the option of working from home.

After a lot of consideration, we are going for a "home day care". The reasons are given below. Hope this will help you a little.

1. Like you, I cannot completely trust a full time nanny; even when I have cameras around the house. And they are extremely expensive here. Also, this will mean there is not much social interaction for my baby.
2. Regular day care is good but most of the day cares close at 5:30 PM here and often I return home only after 6:00 PM.

So this leaves me with something to choose in between, which is "Home Day Care". Here they take children as young as a few weeks old. It is relatively inexpensive compared to full time nanny, yet, it also gives the benefits of a day care when it comes to social interaction with other kids.
Since home day cares caters only for a handful of children, the guardian can keep a better eye on the child.

But when you are choosing a home daycare, make sure it suits your requirements. Here most of them are CPR trained, first aid trained, can take our kids out for a walk etc. So, make sure you get the right one. She/he should also be able to care for an infant in the sense that they should recognize any signs of distress/allergies etc.
Dont worry, if you really look around from now itself, I am sure you will find someone close to home who can fulfill these requirements.

Good luck TL...dont worry, you will be able to decide something soon.

MVRENUKA · Dec 10, 2011

hi tulip,

Congrats on yr first pregnancy.. once u deliver the baby your emotions will get stronger towards it.. u will anyhow start feeling very bad about leaving yr baby and going to work.. anyhow it is the sad state that all working mothers hv to face.. i was working for 14 years and learnt some lessons the hard way.. in chennai finding a good day care centre is a big head ache.. i believe they give cough syrups to kids to make them sleep .. i heard lot of stories of that sort and then decided to leave my kid to my MIL.. i hv a full time maid at home too.. once my maid was found slaping my son in a park.. these maids behave like angles before us and behave like devils behind.. though MILs may be old etc etc, they are related to us in some way.. they will be emotionally attached to our kid.. so always better to trust MIL that any other source.

formylilone · Dec 11, 2011

anyone knows any good home day care for new borns? Also, I am looking for a full time maid in bangalore. If I can get any reference that will be extremely helpful.

Thanks,
Formylilone