MyBlog -57 (Dark side of human beings...)

Pragmatic · Aug 14, 2009

My college friend called up today after a year.There was so much to talk n share. While asking her family's whereabouts I came across something which was hard to believe. she revealed the state of her family and shared the stress she was going through. My friend is married n stays in USA. Other family members includes her mom ,elder brother, sis-in-law and two yr old niece. My friend's concern was, as I presumed, 'Sis-in-law'. But I never realized that the situation is so odd in this case.

She started with her brother's marriage, Just after wedding her brother n bhabhi moved to a different city (My friend says it happened due to her bhabhi's willingness to stay away n alone). Her mom had to stay all alone in their hometown. Brother/Bhabhi never asked the mother to stay with them. They neither visited her nor did they invite her to their place. This continued for almost 3 years. Brother kept in contact with mom through phone but sis-in-law did not even bother to do that. Later arrived the news of a kid. After a month , both brother n bhabhi came to the hometown along with the newly born.
Aunty (My friend's mom) was overly excited to meet all three of them and showered all her love instead of cribbing about the disconnect. After a week brother n bhabhi decided to go back and they revealed that they have decided to leave the child with aunty because they both are working and cannot take care of the kid. Since then they only make a visit once a year. They are neither concerned about mother nor their own child. Moreover last few months aunty wasn't feeling well & had to undergo a knee surgery. Neither brother nor bhabhi came over to help her. The relatives & neighbors took care of her & the little kid.
Till date is the same scenario, Aunty is unable to walk around and the toddler is on the mercy of maid. Now my friend has decided to take an unpaid leave for a month & go to India to to take care of her mom and her niece.

When my friend narrated her story , I felt so disgusted about the entire situation. Can we ever be so evil & inhuman towards our own family members.
I am not sure about the hidden situations within the family but what I heard from my friend was very depressing. It is so painful n tragic.
I wonder how can we not have feelings towards our mother & our own child....sounds very strange to me!

Saswati127 · Aug 14, 2009

Its a very sad story Pragmatic, its hard to believe.

manjulapathy · Aug 14, 2009

hi pragmatic,
it is sounding very strange!!It doesnt sound human at all.....everyone has to go thro old age....But some people forget that
manjula

knot2share · Aug 14, 2009

Hi Pragmatic
It does sound strange, but I have to be honest here ( without offending anybody hopefully ). I have heard of couples leaving their children with their parents and leaving for overseas. Nothing wrong in that but I just feel parents are being seen as dump stations. Get married, have kids, leave them with grand parents and the parents are off !! They surely have valid reasons for doing so and I dont argue with that, but somehow dont like the idea of leaving it all in the hands of grand parents. They wont say NO, but how much do we expect them to keep doing this ?? There comes a time when it is our duty to take over.... I dont mean to offend anybody and these are just my views.

Jonathan · Aug 16, 2009

It is bit strange to me as well, but I do have some suggesstion. Ask your friend to talk to her brother explaining him the situation and make him understand what he did is not fair. Children should not take advantage of the parent's love towards the little ones especially Grandchildren. I've seen many daughter-in-laws prefer the stay away from the MILs just to avoid misunderstanding. But this case is different, I don't know how a your friend's SIL can behave like this. Ask your friend to talk to her as well and explain what she did is unfair. Atleast her brother & family might realise the situation and come back to his mother at be with her till she gets fine.

Pragmatic · Aug 18, 2009

yes my IL friends...I did ask my friend to speak calmly to her SIL without complains n rude tone. It is important to be extremely patient while explaning her about her wrong deeds...Keeping in mind that she may take suggestions as insults....I hope situation improves in their family n God bless all.

malinijamaica · Aug 20, 2009

I agree, is a DIL cannot get along with her MIL, its better they stay away from each other & be fine to each other in terms of talking every now & then. But, this is a definite case of taking advantage of other persons emotion. When she cannot live with her MIL, how could she let her son stay with her MIL? Its only cos she herself is selfish & wants to make use of her MIL for her advantage. MIL is in a fix where she cannot say no. She would have expected atleast in way of visiting their son, her son & DIL would come to see her now & then. People are becoming very selfish , & this is the one of its heights of being selfish.
We can only pray for God to give her some sense, to understand others atleast her MIL .
Regards,
Malini