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My personal opinion about IndusLadies

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by madhuprabha, Nov 28, 2014.

  1. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    As you all can see I joined Indusladies in 2011 but I have been active only for the past few months. One of the reasons for ignoring IL was my work and personal life. If you ask me what happened to your work and personal life in the past few months, well the answer is both are very much there, but I needed a forum which was very different from my work and personal life. At the same time I did not want to stray to far from them either. Sounds contradicting ?????
    I guess it is contradicting, in the sense that I myself do not know what I want, whether to break all my ties with my past and forge new ties. (With regard to my work and personal life). That is where I found that IL was helpful to me. It allowed me to talk to people about such matters as ‘Cuddle or muddle’, ‘Pencil pouches’ and other things like poetry, relationship with in-laws and husband etc.,

    Around family and friends, one has to be prim and proper, both in attire and talks. And you cannot for a second drop your guard, especially if both your in-laws, parents and relatives live in the same city and very near each other. If for example, I go to my parents house with a normal face, I mean without smiling all time, my mom will think that my in-law are not treating me well and vice-versa. In fact if I do not go to my relatives house with my DH and go alone, then all tongues will be wagging, ‘I told you there is something wrong between the two and blah blah’. Since me and my DH work in the same office, ours is like a 24x7 relationship, wherein I am constantly under scanner. If I am on toes right from morning 6 till 730 pm in the evening and want to rest in the evening when I come home saying I am having a headache, my DH says ‘what rubbish, in the office you were all active and as soon as you come home you are doing this drama so that you escape the cooking’.

    You won’t believe it folks, sometimes the sheer exertion of life has made me cry in the privacy of the bathroom and come out hiding my tears, by washing my face. Amidst all my relatives and friends, I found myself alone. I wanted a break from all this, a place where I can be myself and vent out my feelings or discuss things which are related to me or sometimes not even remotely connected to me.

    Then I thought of social media, wherein I can befriend people who are out of my comfort zone. But this idea is full of dangers and risk, and my case should not be something like ‘OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FIRE’. Take for example, FACE BOOK. Frankly speaking I do not have a facebook account but I have peeped into my DH’s facebook account. And LO! What do you have over there, the very same friends, relatives or colleagues whom you want to distance yourself from. Face book throws a list of people whom they think you want to talk to or respond to, based on your profile. It is like talking to your friends in the open privacy of the internet, where every TOM, DICK AND HARRY can assess and judge you. So if you tell so and so should have done this and not that, everybody who know you, will be thinking HA HA! ‘website pe badi sayani ban rahi hai!’ or such other things. I do not have any knowledge whatsoever about other such sites, so no comments about them.

    That is where IL figured in. I am able to talk and post my replies on any subject I want to, without worrying about whether I am contradicting myself. For example, In personal life I might not want to say don’t buy a gift to your MIL on her Birthday, because for obvious reasons that it will come back to her and DH. But in this forum I can talk what I deeply feel and not put on a mask on my feelings. Heck when you guys and gals cannot even see how I look, where is the need for me to hide my feelings or inhibitions.

    In IL I can write my reply on ‘Vishwa Roopam’ without my DH saying ‘what is this you are becoming so spiritual’ or ‘your age is not for talking about spirituality’. (My DH did comment that I had become spiritual when I told him that I am reading a book on Swami Vivekananda.) When in IL I posted about using lemon juice daily, I instantly got a reply that using lemon juice darkens the face so try avoid using it daily. And this was from complete strangers. Whereas in my house, when one day in summer I had dressed up to go for a wedding, all my make up had caked out due to the sweat, nobody in the house, neither my MIL or my DH commented about it, with the result that I went to the function like a made up queen.

    There are many such small things in life, which I am sure others also would have faced and which when added up makes life a little bitter. And one more selfish reason I like IL is that I can satisfy my urge for writing for whatever it is worth. It is not like writing your views to a newspaper or a periodical and hoping that it may get published. In the newspaper also, my favorite page is the editorial section, because you can read others views on the happenings of the world, I think there is a lot of difference in reading the facts and reading the analysis about the said facts. Maybe the analysis are biased, but again this is where IL scores over the newspaper editorial section. Here you can read different views and analysis on a very simple or a complex subject. And not to forget the more important urge of every woman, that is ‘GOSSIPPING’. We ladies can gossip about anything and everything, be it the in-laws, or our children, our dress, home and what not.

    Maybe you might think, it is a very short association of mine with Indus Ladies to write about IL, but I felt that I should convey what I feel and think and that is ‘Thank you IL for introducing me to your world’.
     
    35 people like this.
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  2. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Madhu,

    A very interesting read, as though u are talking to us. This is how u must write, just let the words flow, as long as things are not vulgar, everything is fine here.

    i was blogging at another site, when a lady who was there and here, pulled me here, saying kamalji, u will add spice to the dull snippets, i said i keep away from ladies, they are sensitive, and i write all naughty and spicy stuff, and they will take offence, and i am comfortable where i am. i was and am very popular there, then getting aroudn 30 to 40 comments, and add my replies so each blog was like 60 or more comments. So why would i want to move from there.

    But well under pressure i came over here, and madhu, the expierence has been wonderful, the ladies so sporting, like i thought for the cuddles i will receive a lot of chappals, but everyone has been so sporting, the replies so detailed and nice, and i have made so many friends out here, we talk on the phone, send whats app jokes, so many i lites i have met persoanlly too, wonderful people like Cheeniya, Chitvish, and many many more.


    There is no place like indus, it is a palce of warm people leaving aside a few exceptions who always look for a fight.HAHA. i try and stay clear of them, for i dont need controversies to run my blogs, i am happy with the respense tat i am getting.

    So u are in the right place, and welcome to indus, and even if u dont want, i can assure u, or predict very soon u will be making a lot of friends here. wait and watch.

    Regards

    kamal
     
    10 people like this.
  3. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you very much Kamalji.

    U know when i was writing my feelings, (u said it right) and after i read it, at first i thought no no.... this is toooo long, i dont think anyone will read it. Then u won't believe it, the first person whom i thought will read and give me FB was YOU. Sacchhi ..... this is what i thought.
    And the second thought was, ok even if nobody reads and gives me their FB, I will be satisfied for having written what I deeply felt.
    So your FB is all the more valuable because I was anxiously waiting for it. THANK YOU. Waiting to make friends and more friends.
     
  4. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    MP - well expressed your feelings - it does happen with slight variations for all I should say, when you are online. The freedom to express anonymously is a great feeling.

    Keep doing so as long as you enjoy being here.
     
  5. Saisakthi

    Saisakthi IL Hall of Fame

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    :welcome Sister Madhuprabha to IL family,

    Glad to understand that you are able to open up amongst friends and IL family with little reservations, Hope you find new friends and be happier here.

    May Baba guide you always, Thanks for sharing your feelings about IL, Best wishes, SAIRAM
     
  6. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you GG for your FB.

    Sairam Saishakthi. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement.
     
  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Madhuprabha,

    A nice snippet.
    You have poured your heart.There were about 30 couples working in our office-same campus but indifferent departments.I felt as though I was talking to one of them.Even a small movement, a small outpouring will be viewed in a magnifying glass with too much exaggeration.This happens mostly in Govt offices with large gatherings,T think.

    In today's hurried visit to wedding halls, if one has time to converse and gossip.They simply enter the dining hall, take lunch or dinner, wish the couple and fly off.Mostly it is our fear that others talk about us only. We are always worried about those 4 people without knowing who they are-we being one among them.

    IL is a wonderful experience.You can share, get suggestions from various sources.You can analyse and take the best one. No one is there to question whether you have implemented what they suggested.More or less like visiting 10 counsellers at a time, without losing precious hours, with strict privacy maintained.

    On many occasions we receive replies to unasked questions too by way of their experiences revealed through various columns.A great outlet.It can be compared to entering a great University where you can enter any class room on any subject and seek clarification.In these modern days of strain and stress most women need only outlet and not real answers to the problems-since the problem itself is that there is no one to listen.Once you pour out , mind gets relaxed without taking any anxiety suppressant drugs .
    I think IL team is an unsung hero/heroine , a temple of multi talented Gods/Goddesses
    ever ready to shower their grace /blessings in the form of notable suggestions.We need not even do any Archana or stuthi for the God/ Goddess with unfamiliar name and face.
    Perhaps this is the demonstration of the fact that even the left hand should not know what the right hand gives.

    Jayasala 42
     
    5 people like this.
  8. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    People who are scared they will never get married and end up alone should read this statement alone.

    May I also recommend getting an account on Pinterest.com. People pin so things on so many different topics, and you can also create pins. If you wish, you can keep some of your pins private (in case anyone finds out about your account and decides to follow you). Check it out, http://www.pinterest.com/
     
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Madhu,

    I have learned very early in my life that communication is to express and not to impress. Here in IL, we can freely express our emotions without being judged by others which happens a lot in real life. There is a lot of love in communication among ILites without any expectations. In fact, we can learn life lessons out of snippets here.

    If I feel very happy, there are so many here who would feel happy for me and if I feel sad, there are so many who will be ready to wipe my tears. Each one approaches the issue from different angle and finally I have great summary of each subject.

    I don't have to be literate or subject-matter expert or famous writer to get response from ILites. We are all equals as no one judges the other based on the status.

    I can freely express my views either to express my thoughts or in response to someone's post without worrying about being judged.

    Hopefully, this practice of not judging others becomes part of my real life and change my mind. After all if my mind changes, the whole world changes.

    Viswa
     
    2 people like this.
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Madhu,

    you read me so well, that u predicted that i would be the first one to post an FB.Wow, u know me better than iknow myself.HAHA

    u will feel at home here, the readers post FB's from the heart, not those one line FB's, yeah great blog, nice, etc.

    And yes u will make many friends here, i can bet u, for i can see who can be yr friends. now i predict.HAHA

    Regards

    kamal

     

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