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My husband doesn't talks

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Lonelyme, Dec 25, 2011.

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  1. Dec 25, 2011 #1
    Lonelyme

    Lonelyme New IL'ite

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    Dear Friends ,

    I am very lonely person in a new Country where I have none of my ppl or frnds.. I am all alone with my husband and this loneliness is driving me crazy... Its been only a year since I am married & already I am bored of this married life. Mine is an arranged marriage. My husband doesn't talk much with me & he hardly has any frnds. Immediately after our marriage I came to a entirely new country with my husband and resigning my previous job too. Now, I am all alone at home all day & in the evening when my husband returns back from the office , he has nothing ever to speak. Weekends are even more horrible. I have requested , fought, complained so many times to him to talk to me but nothing worked out ever. All the fun in my life has gone forever and I feel trapped into some cage . I have only one frnd here who talks to me in weekdays & we spend time together chatting but weekends even she becomes busy with her family. I have no kids too. I never imagined my life would become so boring ever. Please help me come out of this problem:drowning ..I believe there will be atleast 1 in 10 men out there like this. :bonk
     
    Lonelyme, Dec 25, 2011
    Lonelyme, Dec 25, 2011
    #1
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  2. Dec 25, 2011 #2
    JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    this is quite usual in married life.rather than complaining or fighting with him observe him and find out what interests him and try to participate inn those activities with him.try to learn new things or hobbies and if eligible try for job.do not crib or fight as it will further aggravate the situation
     
    JGVR, Dec 25, 2011
    JGVR, Dec 25, 2011
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  3. Dec 25, 2011 #3
    flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Married life is boring no doubt after some time. It is terrible to be uprooted from ones family , friends, city and social circle and stay with an unresponsive spouse .
    Why not make a programme for shopping, movie or picnic on holidays? Plan it in such a way that DH cannot refuse. Soon he will get the hint.
    Tell him that you are getting bored and need conversation ,he cannot treat you like a piece of furniture.
    Try and get a job so that you have your own social circle.
     
    flowerlady, Dec 25, 2011
    flowerlady, Dec 25, 2011
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  4. Dec 25, 2011 #4
    ramyakar

    ramyakar New IL'ite

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    Hi Frnd..

    This is life, so dont come to any conclusion soon. Take your time, first watching and understand what his insterest is important. Even he is new to marriage life and dont know what to do. You are the smart one among the two, so you take the lead in the life, you can make your life as happy as you want. Also you are not with inlaws so you have the advantage of making everthing as you wish without any distrubace.

    Be positive frnd, I am sure.. you will post back saying that you are happy.. All the best and good luck.
     
    ramyakar, Dec 25, 2011
    ramyakar, Dec 25, 2011
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  5. Dec 25, 2011 #5
    kritka

    kritka Junior IL'ite

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    Hi thr .This is somwhat very similiar to the situation i faced .please read the posts and the various suggestions which are given by various pll.

    will def help you ....
     
    kritka, Dec 25, 2011
    kritka, Dec 25, 2011
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  6. Dec 25, 2011 #6
    Lonelyme

    Lonelyme New IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Thank u very much for ur valuable suggestions & positive feedback. Its very nice to see people of IL helping out to resolve from small silly problems to a very serious one. Its very nice when u know somebody is there to hear u :hiya ....
    @Kritka : I read the similar posts and saw the replies and was able to pick out some of the options that might help me.... Thanks :cheers
     
    Lonelyme, Dec 25, 2011
    Lonelyme, Dec 25, 2011
    #6
  7. Apr 28, 2013 #7
    confidentsameer

    confidentsameer New IL'ite

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    I understand your feelings, but certainly you should not put your frustration on men even if it is 1:10 :) but yes i do agree on that making it as 1:50. :) Ask him whether he had someone in his past life, as making your present this worst doesn't give him any right.
     
    confidentsameer, Apr 28, 2013
    confidentsameer, Apr 28, 2013
    #7
  8. Apr 28, 2013 #8
    sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    Read some good books and discuss with your friends, learn something which will be usefull to your life.

    i can understand you don't have any friends,

    you can't get anyone from your place.

    chat with me here i will share with you my sweet memories and events
    good luck
     
    sumanrathi, Apr 28, 2013
    sumanrathi, Apr 28, 2013
    #8
  9. Apr 28, 2013 #9
    Harithag

    Harithag Gold IL'ite

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    Dont worry..Try knowing him better.Some guys are like that.

    Cook his favourite dishes.This is the best way to win a guys heart.

    You start conversation first.but dont ask questions first as soon as he comes from office.
    Tell him howz your day ..etc and then ask how his day in office,what he had for lunch,etc.Eventually he will speak to you.:)
     
    Harithag, Apr 28, 2013
    Harithag, Apr 28, 2013
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    1 person likes this.
  10. Apr 29, 2013 #10
    Hyral

    Hyral Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Dear,
    Felt like its my flash back...am married for 2 years and yeah..my 1.5 year was very crucial...
    I stayed with in-laws and DH use to not talk much except for what is required to be told. I felt so sad and bad hope i havnt made wrong decision. other wise He was very caring towards me whenever am not well he use to take great care of me...I use to nag him lot but that didnt help ...i have posted on IL as well later on I started ignoring..earlier it was a time when no matter whose fault it is in fight...i only had to go and patch up but it was never him...so later on i started ignoring him or should i say coincidence one night when we fought i didnt go to him and didnt realized when I slept...so he waited for me to come fwd but i was already asleep by then...so he came fwd to manaofy me...yes from there on...he never miss to come fwd to say me sorry if he is wrong...
    I guess i have lost track of topic regarding talks hmm ..it will take time...stop nagging instead u start sharing ur pleasing experiences of childhood,college days and dont forget to mention some pleasing moments u have spend with him...he will love to listen u praising him...when he is in good mood ...just go to him...pamper him & ask him frankly what is bothering him and why cant he try to talk to u as a good friend...tell him...u love him lot and u see best friend in him so u really look upto him for friendship..hope he understands...i have more to say..will keep u posted...all i can say is...i was at this stage in initial years of my marriage when i felt sad...and now today...Touch wood...I feel i couldnt have got any better DH than my DH...He loves me lot and I love him too...yes he is not chatter box now...he is still quiet types than what I am but may be I have now started understanding his personality and also...he too have changed to greater extent...from talking Nill to Lil talking atleast :)

    My Thanks to all ILites who have really helped me in my tough time , cant thank them enough...Love you all my ILites friends :)

    All the best..if he loves u, cares for u, respects u and ur parents...nothing to worry about. ALL THE BEST
     
    Hyral, Apr 29, 2013
    Hyral, Apr 29, 2013
    #10
    2 people like this.
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