1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My friend on a Wrong Way

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by adisum, Jun 25, 2015.

Page 3 of 4
  1. Jun 27, 2015 #21
    adisum

    adisum Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    333
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    A new thing happened, yesterday G called me and talk about general things. I was just talking formally... My mom Knows everything regarding her, when I disconnected her call, my mom said not to talk to her again, we don't want your name to get spoiled because of such friends.. you are getting married soon, so better to stay away from her. Even my fiancee doesn't want me to talk to her even for the sake of formality.

    What should I say to her Why I am going to quit talking to her ? Should I stop doing formality also ?
     
    adisum, Jun 27, 2015
    adisum, Jun 27, 2015
    #21
  2. Jun 27, 2015 #22
    chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,508
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    OP, I am not talking about having ex marital affairs is approved or not. I am talking about your friend having one. If she is having one and thinks its okay then its not anybody else's problem. Even close friends or best friends. If tomorrow my best friend had an ex marital affair and thought its okay I wont tell her its not okay because I am her best friend. Becoz until she asks my opinion its none of my business. Even then I will just say my opinion that its not okay. Not impose on her.Becoz what choices each person makes shud be their own not anybody's .
     
    chocolate, Jun 27, 2015
    chocolate, Jun 27, 2015
    #22
  3. Jun 30, 2015 #23
    adisum

    adisum Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    333
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female

    I am sorry chocolate , I am not getting your point. It is fine that everybody has their own choices in life and I am nobody to interfere, yet I think If we relate to somebody may be in any relation .. mother ,father, brother, sister boy friend, girl friend , we always give suggestions to our loved ones.. and a friendship of 22 years , do you really think it requires the other person to ask for a suggestion in such a lasting relationship ? I am sorry I thought that wasn't required. Else its right that she has her choices of life and she can go with them without my consent, yet I feel even if it wasn't my friend , I would be concerned in this kind of matter because I have seen that small little angles who are thinking their father is the best in the world and their father and my so called friend are ready to shatter the dreams of tiny eyes.

    I am really feeling helpless. My mom, My fiancee, My sister, all the IL members everyone is saying to stay away from the matter. But just for once put your feet in my shoes and think, is it that easy ? Yes my friend has betrayed me, she isn't listening to me. But I know one day she will come out of this fuss and that day she will come to me and say U were right. But if I would have kept quiet, she would have definitely said that You also didn't tell me anything what kind of friend were you ... Else I am now quiet because everything I am saying is falling on deaf ears, so I am giving her time to decide for her life...
     
    adisum, Jun 30, 2015
    adisum, Jun 30, 2015
    #23
  4. Jun 30, 2015 #24
    CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    1,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Your role (as a friend) is not to judge or abandon your friend. Continue your friendship, if asked tell your opinion about the affair. Tell your mom to mind her own business as you are not a child and she cannot make decisions about your friends.
     
    CrayoNess, Jun 30, 2015
    CrayoNess, Jun 30, 2015
    #24
    2 people like this.
  5. Jun 30, 2015 #25
    adisum

    adisum Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    333
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female

    Hi crayoness, Well My mom can always guide me on all the matters.. she has given me freedom to choose my friends that doesn't mean I could be with a person who is on a wrong way and my mom should keep quiet on this. I am sorry I dont agree to your point.
     
    adisum, Jun 30, 2015
    adisum, Jun 30, 2015
    #25
    1 person likes this.
  6. Jun 30, 2015 #26
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    4,119
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Not the first time CN does not get "Indian parents" and "Indian families" are atleast a bit (if not more) different than Westerners. If we (Indians) start giving our Indianish advice on a Western forum, we would look weird as well.
     
    Ragini25, Jun 30, 2015
    Ragini25, Jun 30, 2015
    #26
    3 people like this.
  7. Jun 30, 2015 #27
    chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,508
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female

    Once again, What I think or don't think shudnt matter. Your opinion is your own. You tried to help her yes a good thing. Did it work? No. So forget it. Don't worry there are all types of people. You sound sad becoz your friend chose a wrong path. It is. Don't associate with her becoz you don't like her path or you don't want to talk to her.

    Your fiancée, mom sister are your family. Your fiancée is your future. That is more important that your friend.You also need to think of your own life.Good Luck.
     
    chocolate, Jun 30, 2015
    chocolate, Jun 30, 2015
    #27
    sindmani likes this.
  8. Jun 30, 2015 #28
    sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    How does your mom know about your friend's affair?
     
    sheztheone, Jun 30, 2015
    sheztheone, Jun 30, 2015
    #28
    sindmani likes this.
  9. Jun 30, 2015 #29
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,998
    Likes Received:
    20,887
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Not matter how close a friend is,there is a concept of personal space.
    u r a good friend wanting ur friend to be in the right path.she is not listening which indirectly says your opinion on this matter is secondary.

    u have tried ur best.let it go.

    She is going to get hurt in the near future sorry to say this.wat u as a friend should do is be there for her in the time of need.aid her with emotional healing.tats all.
     
    anika987, Jun 30, 2015
    anika987, Jun 30, 2015
    #29
    1 person likes this.
  10. Jul 1, 2015 #30
    adisum

    adisum Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    333
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female

    She got to Know it through my Elder Sister
     
    adisum, Jul 1, 2015
    adisum, Jul 1, 2015
    #30
Page 3 of 4

Share This Page