My Fiance Didn't Gave Me Birthday Gift

He is no God to know that u still need gift after saying no.Men are simple beings.If you needed gift you should not have said no gift. I don't see anything wrong with his behavior. I see you as spoilt little princess. Come to reality.

 

You tell him not to celebrate and then do nakhras when he doesn't come for the birthday.
you tell him you don't want gift,only him...again nakhras when he does not give the gift.
Why so much drama?

 

Men don't get it about celebration and gifts.. they need to be told about gifts.you said You don't want gift and expect him to bring gifts??? Nope . Don't work that way.

 

Belated bday wishes to you !

Please understand that men can process only that information which is fed to them - be it from wife or mom or friends.
When you say no gift , he understands as a "no gift" only but NOT - I would say no and still expect you to bring one as a surprise. This happens very rarely in real life and very amazingly on a regular basis in films and serials.
He gave you what you asked for - his time.
He did not give you what you did not want - the gift.
Simple and straight - hope you get the point.

you don't have to fight for everything but you have to ask what you want and stop expecting that he can get inside your mind and know what you want (which appears to be opposite to what you actually speak). This ain't gonna happen because men are not built that way - they go by what you speak not whats inside your mind.

Marriage is so much more than gifts and lehengas. I am not sure if saying no to wedding because of bday gift and lehenga is right !

 

I am guessing it's a case of lost in translation.
Its one of the "tests" that women like to do on men. Like seeing if a guy wld go above and beyond call of duty. Women like the thrill of knowing a man surprised them. That despite her (mild) protests, when he brings a gift, it feels like an act of passion, rather than an obligation.

Reading between the lines, i guess what @nehakapil78 really meant is probably on the lines of "dont do it because you have to do it & i am expecting it, show me you want to do it."

But it backfired badly because the man took her protests and denials literally.

Dear @nehakapil78 - i guess you are pretty young going by the incident and your vent. Here's a tip - if you want flowers, gifts, surprises please stop coming in the way of romance by saying "no" when you actually mean "yes". Keep quiet and let the man do his thing. Then when he does something for you, you'll feel pleased that he did it without your asking. And when getting a gift from him appreciate profusely using superlatives (amazing, love it, best gift ever etc). Your clear expression of happiness in receiving will make him enjoy giving.

One more thing - drop subtle hints abt things you love. Like surprises, gifts, outtings, whatever. It is an easy way to express your expectations without making him feel pressured. Celebrate his birthday the way you'd like your partner to celebrate yours. This will show via actions that bdays
are important to you. Saying no to something & then secretly hoping he will still do the opposite is setting him up for failure.

Abt your specific dilemma - let go of your anger. When you meet him next in a light, fun setting, in a playful/ jovial banter tell him that you are still waiting for a gift from him. If he says that he followed your instructions, tell him that you just said that in the spur of the moment and nothing will make your birthday more meaningful or complete than a gift from him.

Extra tip - some of the nicest guys just want to please the woman but are unaware of the mores of romance. In this case he thought you will be pleased if he did exactly as told. Cut him some slack and enjoy your courtship by improving communication.

 

ah... So let me get this straight - He wants your birthday celebration. You say No. He says Ok and has no celebration. You get angry because he respected your wishes and yell at him. AND THEN HE SAYS SORRY!

Lady, you got one heck of a fiance there. Hold on to him and never let him go!

p.s. OH btw, grow up!

 

Op.....men are different from us. Most follow words for what they are.
Next time he says he wants to celebrate...show excitement and smile.
Next time he want to buy a gift.....show excitement and smile.
There will be less disappointment.

As for the lehenga......is it a part of the gift the guy's side is supposed to get for you?
If so...it has to be their choice.You can suggest what you would like and what kind,but you can't decide which and what budget.
If you are worried that he or his family is stingy...........then there will be other pointers.
Who is paying for the wedding?
Do they expect expensive gifts(the kind you are expecting ...example ,this lehenga)?
Is it a traditional wedding sponsored by parents ?If it is sponsored by his parents on his side...then he may not have much say in what is being given. It is mostly the women in the family who do the choosing and buying.

Chill.....this is no reason to call of the wedding.

 

Ok, then do say No, and call off the wedding.

 

Neha, I still feel before getting married you should work out financial priorities and ask his views on running the house, or buying Items for the house, or matters regarding savings etc., so that you can prepare your self for the unexpected. Bcos many a times this becomes a bone of content in the marriage. From What I can guess is that you people are not enough into conversation.