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Moving To India For Good

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by kveena, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. kveena

    kveena Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi everyone, I would like to know what are the pros and cons of settling in India after a decade of married life in USA.I would like to hear your experience and advice especially if you are a single child with sick parents living in India.And when you have issues to deal with your hubby and his side of the family.
     
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  2. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    Whoz been taking care of ur parents while u were there? How old are ur kids? Does ur hubby want to move to India? What ia the problem with his side folks?
     
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  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Moving back to India will not be easy, specially after a decade and to take care of old parents. Why don’t you visit for a month every year, arrange for a good nurse, home cooked food etc.
    Have you looked into good retirement communities ?
     
  4. kveena

    kveena Platinum IL'ite

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    My parents are not too old and are living independently with a few health issues.Apart from taking care of my parents It it time for me to shoulder responsibilities related to my assets in India.I have typical issues with in laws (dominating Mil and a hen pecked fil).With a recent turn of events I have realised that I not only married a mommy’s boy but also a gold digger.I am also worried about my safety in USA (I have been mentally harassed).I am not comfortable sharing more details on a public forum.I have school going kids and my husband loves settling in India for good.Considering my situation I want to know the pros and cons of going back to India for good.
     
  5. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    • parents are not too old, with a few health issues
    • my assets in India
    • married a mommy’s boy but also a gold digger
    • I am also worried about my safety in USA ..
    • my husband loves settling in India for good.
    Considering your situation, I would recommend staying in USA, getting rid of all your tangible assets in India, and distribute the proceeds between philanthropy in India, and some non-risky investments that you can use on visits to India to deal with relatives (both home & married).

    Your personal safety ought to come first --- and that is served better in USA than in India.
    • divorce is faster
    • court will help to place a restraining order on harasser
    • when children reach legal adult age, you can separate, and live a peaceful life.
     
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  6. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Hi @kveena ,
    @Amulet has dispensed the perfect advise in perfect brevity
    I definitely am of the opinion that if you fear for your safety and mental health, there might be more avenues for rescue and therapy there in the in US than here in India.
    However , that said if you intuitively feel better about being in India, it must be a good dispensation for you because each individual's situation is unique and only they can judge it for themselves.

    Issues in India :

    School admissions is a hassle here, if you care about brand schools
    If Elderly care is a point in contention here, then reliable support staff and attendant are a bit of an issue and extremely luck dependent.
    However, home help can ensure quite a lot of burden in everyday running of home is lifted and freeing up time to attend to your other duties
    It also depends on where you stay and your distance to your parents home, if you are looking at assisting them
    Security of kids at home and aspects related to health concerns ( like mosquitoes induces illnesses, pollution related health issues, water issues..... ) wold also gnaw at your attention all the while . It of course depends on where you plan to locate yourself
    However, an overall assessment of your personal situation would only lead you to the solutions you seek.
    Take care and have strength :)
    May you feel good about whatever the decision you take
     
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  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks @Afresh.
    I am not all that current on India, and the situation for the protection of self-respect and happiness of girls/women/mothers in India.
    That is the reason I could not elaborate on what could be the problems ... i.e., "cons" of India.
    Thanks for your post in detail. I am learning from your post.
     
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  8. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Without prodding too much :

    A) Person or situation that causes mental harassment will not be present in India ?
    B) Can your assets in India not be protected while you are here ?
    C) Will things get better with husband / in-laws situation in India ? I think maybe worse in India because mommy’s boy will be close to mommy and also closer to your assets in India .
    D) are you a permanent resident or a citizen here ?
    E) Do you feel there is greater financial independence ( because of your assets ) in India vs here ?
    F) Do you think you will be able to care for your parents if you move to India , considering your husband/ in-laws ?
    G] would you rather stay here and keep your parents away from your marital and other issues ? Will it help to have them be a part of the marital and in-laws conflicts?
    H) can kids adjust to school life in India and also the general social set up ?


    You don’t have to answer the questions, just something for you to think about.

    Please make sure that you can comeback here if things don’t work out in India ( because of proximity to in-laws ) .


    I have appreciated all the recipes that you put up . I hope things get better and you can overcome all the issues in your personal life.











     
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  9. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    @SinghManisha ...
    Same here. I was shocked at this thread, because it is not easy to cook at home, an innovate in recipes, when life is a turmoil, and mind is not at peace.
     
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  10. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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