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Moms Of Only Child, Please Share Your Experiences!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by anutt, May 23, 2016.

  1. anutt

    anutt Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,

    After a long time I am posting here and we have decided to have an only child ( reasons are many). So i really need help from other moms having only child - what is that you did from your end to make sure "only child does not fall under the stereotype" - like they are spoilt, they dont share etc...

    From my end as a mother, I want do as much as possible for my only child - to help her be more independent etc.... please share your experiences with me. Will be appreciated.. Any tips etc...

    Also if at all your child ask for a sibling or something, what did you answer? how did that conversation end?

    I am 34 , dd is 6yrs

    Thank you so much
     
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  2. viki123

    viki123 Silver IL'ite

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    @anutt
    Thanks for creating this thread. We have also decided to have only kids, he is 2 now. Inputs from other parents would be helpful. Watching this thread.
     
    anutt likes this.
  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    I have just one too. Not spoiling the child is in our hands. It's not about saying yes or no to everything the child wants but it's about helping the child learn about what is appropriate and when. Do tell my child if something is expensive. If mine wants to choose a toy, I give her a budget. We set goals before she gets something. Even her birthday gifts aren't just handed over - she opens the gift wrapper but she has to earn the gifts. We decide on a goal and she earns each gift.

    Treats outside, we usually decide beforehand where and when we'd get an icecream. While we do spontaneous stuff occasionally, we ensure that we don't cave in too often though the little one does come up with demands. That way she knows take no in her stride.

    Saying thank you is an integral to being grateful, IMO. We adults need to do it too to set a good example. For cleaning the house, cooking a meal etc. And it rubs off of the child.

    It is a good idea to encourage the child to have close friends and have plenty of play dates. Teach them how to share. I usually talk to my child before her friends come over - she has to decide whether there are things she won't share - like a favourite or new toy. We put that away. The rest she must share. There are tiffs but the kids lean to sort it out - use a timer to take turns with a toy or count to 20.

    A friend of mine bought her son a doll when he was around 3 and taught him not to bash it about but take care of it. Even staff in his nursery commented on how compassionate and considerate he became with other kids in just less than a week. That child is a delight to be around always.

    We can inculcate the required values in the child - there are so many resources online with many suggestions. They really do give us great guidance if only we looked.

    About the child asking for a sibling, it is bound to happen. Deal with it gracefully. In my case it didn't happen. My daughter herself came to us after missed attempts and heartbreak. So, I just tell her that we are grateful to have her; our family already feels complete.
     
  4. bhagya85

    bhagya85 Silver IL'ite

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    There is a myth saying that 'single child are always spoilt because of too much pampering and buying them what ever they ask for',but we get him only 'his needs and not his wants'. We make sure that he knows the value of his toys ,his school fees, books or whatever. Never encouraged him to get things done by whinning and crying since he is 2 years old. We give him time for all his tasks like playing,studying ,watching tv and sleeping time.
    Above all we too follow these habits.My opinion is kids learn only from how we behave and they watch us keenly.

    Yes asking about sibling has been tough time for me too..but some kids keep insisting regularly..luckily my DS is not much curious on it.
     
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  5. previ

    previ Senior IL'ite

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    My son is an only child too (he's 6) and we have no plans for another child. As he's been in daycare since he was 11 months, sharing is not much of a problem for him. We do ensure that he is definitely not spoilt and he doesn't get loaded with toys. We especially are extra careful since he is the only child in my side of the family as my brother and cousins are not even married yet.
    Thankfully most of his friends are single kids too so he hasn't asked a lot about sibling, maybe once or twice. Both times I simply told him he's the only child for us and he was ok with that answer. He however has more questions about why we can't have a pet and that I need to patiently explain why. :)
     
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  6. anutt

    anutt Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you ladies for sharing your inputs. They really mean a lot to me... I hope i am able to inculcate all the good habits as much as possible....
     

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