Mom And Dad Marriage

OP, you cannot change your Dad. Only your mother can decide what she wants in her life.
All you can do is: be a listener to your mom, give some positive energy and help her when needed. It is very difficult to change old people. It will be good for your mother to be active , busy and independent. Don't worry too much thinking about it. I am sure both of them wont change even if you try your best. Accept the reality and move on.

 

Your dad will not change just ignore him that is the only way..going separate on this age will affect your brother marriage also.once your brother gets married your mom can go to there house and ur house and get some stress free life.

 

For a moment, I thought whether you were talking about my PILs.
Ya, the magnitude of this problem is very similar to what is happening at my PILs home right now.

Dad (FIL in my case) is a selfish man who can only think about his own happiness and comfort - be it anything even if that comes at the cost of his wife's or kid's happiness/comforts.

Mom (MIL in my case) is a typical Indian wife, who loves and accepts her H dearly no matter how much he disrespects her. She continues to do her duty and be his slave, while finding some means for her own survival. In your mom's case it is her business. In my MIL's case, it is her neighbors and friends and her social service for them.

Children (My H and his siblings in my case) believe everything is rosy, and picture perfect in their family regardless of all such hiccups. They didn't see anything as wrong. They did enjoy their childhood, and believe their parents were perfect; hence love them.
In fact, they were raised to believe and accept whatever (though their parents were utterly wrong) their parents do should be right.
So, it is hard for them to accept the fact that their dad is a selfish-heartless man, and their mom is a foolish woman and everything they do together is utterly meaningless.
But the blame has to go to the parents for lying at their maximum in order to cover up their weakness, and make their children believe everything is normal.

Now that, I see something very similar my H and his siblings experience now.
My H has somewhat stopped spending for his dad's unreasonable and meaningless needs. His dad didn't even support him for his studies in the first place.
Now that it is my BIL who has become the scapegoat and spending in euros for his dad, knowing nothing about the whereabouts of his hard-earned money.
Even at the cost of ruining his own comforts and the happy marriage with his wife, he keeps on spending for his dad from abroad without questioning.

MIL (like your mom) doesn't take any action to stop her son from this trouble. But if her DIL (son's wife) takes some actions, MIL gangs up with her cruel H, as though his demands were reasonable.

Even God can not help such people.

Looks like, you have realized it like my H did, and moved on....
Don't try to change your parents, it is hard. But pray for them.