Mil Wants To Keep My Gold At Her Place

Secure it in bank locker ... Thts more safe.. n inform MIL tht u ppl are soo concerned as any thief might attack her for gold...,

 

I can understand, I have heard of stories from some friends about their mil keeping the jewelleries. Some has turned out ok, but in some cases, they never saw it again. Because whenever a need araised, it's the dil's jewelleries that was touched first.

It is your safety n you need to safe guard it. If she can lie to her own son to get more money, then it feels like she's not a safe option.

If you really do use the jewelleries at your in laws place 'only', then get a bank locker around their area and safe keep the jewelleries there. It's worked for me too. Or get a bank near your area.

That way, it's kept in a safe place rather than anyone's house and safe from any burglar claim or sold or pawned during any family 'emergency' that they may claim.

 

Don't encourage discussion. State somewhat vaguely that you don't like wearing much gold and "I don't see a point to ferrying MY gold here and there.<change topic> I'm making myself some tea. Would you like some?"

And leave it in a locker at your mum's. Any further questions, say, "MY unworn gold is safe in MY locker. Why is this such a big issue when I don't want to wear it?"

Don't give explanations or details or excuses. Just say I don't like to wear much gold. I don't feel safe ferrying it around. I don't like it being in the house unguarded. I am fiercely protective of my space and this that I don't feel comfortable even to leave a pencil in someone else's care. Counter it at every turn. You don't have to feel or make it awkward or apologetic. Just look bemused like you don't see why it is such a big deal and refuse to budge.

All nonsense about prestige should be laughed off as old fashioned and that you don't subscribe to those 1950s thoughts

A decade and a half and mines still at my mum's. Stay mild but firm.

 

@nakshatra1

Try whether it is possible to open a safety locker on your name in the city you live. Try it before you go to your MIL's place. She says she wants you to bring the jewels so that you can wear to the relatives house right? Tell her you will bring few jewels while you come and take back while you go. According to me its not that dangerous to travel with jewels in your bag. Unless and until you never let anyone to know about that. And safeguarding jewel during travel should be primary thing.

But parallely try opening an account in the city you live. If still she insist you to keep it in her place, tell her that you would wear it often. May be a Friday pooja? or any small occasions or tell her you love wearing gold for small occasions like birthday parties, weddings and such stuff. So you cant come and take the jewels every time. Give it as a reason. Show yourself as one who will often wear jewels for all small or big occasions.(since you don't want to sound rude).

If you want, you can wear light/thin jewels to any occasions and click pics so that she will believe. After one or two occasions you can skip wearing gold if you don't want and gradually she might forget. Even if she asks, you can tell her I wear at times and show her the pic.

 

You are not a bad DIL, so stop feeling guilty. It's your gold and your choice . Doesn't help that your MIL hasn't been truthful before. Don't have a locker in the city that your IL's live, your husband or MIL will eventually pressurize you into letting your MIL have access into the locker. Like others mentioned just tell the husband and MIL that you don't like wearing too much gold and you want access to your jewelry by having a locker in the city where you live . Tell MIL that you have a heart of gold and that should be enough to show off when you visit her friends or family !

 

You have all the rights to be possessive about your property. Also you have the rights to protect it as well.

You are not a bad dil, you are just a normal person.

Joint locker - no good.

How long can she keep asking? Maybe a year? Or two? Anyway you live in a different city. She n your dh has to get tired of it at some time.

Convey to your dh that you are severely protective about it and keeping it at home is not safe. Just stay strong till then, give excuses, divert the topic n jus keep buyin time.

At some point, she may get the point. Even if not, jus continue your excuses. Don't make it look like it's even a issue. Don't give any importance.

 

op,

Keep the gold in locker in your name. My gold was with my MIL after my marriage and it stayed there for over 3 years. I was naive then and did not think much about it. but she pawned some of it with out asking me and took a loan of 3 lakhs. Needless to say I was super pissed. I live outside India.so the very next time i traveled to India, i took my gold out and kept in my name. It did strain the relationship a bit and my sis in law was not happy that I hurt her mom. Hubby kept his silence and took a neutral stand.. The gold which she pawned is still with her though..This is per Dh's request.He wanted some gold to remain with her just in case there is an emergency. I am confident that I can get that gold back if and when i need it.SoI let it be. But from my experience, I would advise you to keep the gold with you to avoid problems in future

 

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