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Mil Tries To Separate/cause Arguments Between Me And My Husband..?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Patientone, Aug 30, 2019.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    which is something out of my control. How do I deal with it and make sure a)it doesn’t happen b) it doesn’t affect us (which it does and I get irritated when I realise she’s doing it on purpose to stir the pot). I don’t tell hubby because he’s very defensive when it comes to his parents. But he is easily swayed by his mother. She can manipulate him very easily.

    Even though she lives india and us guys are in the UK. She makes sure she tells him something that either bothers him and he takes it out on me or she passes on some gossip to keep him hooked. He’s at work calling her in his breaks 3x a day for like 25 mins each. It’s increasing more. I don’t ring him at work (only in emergencies) because I want him to progress and stay focused in his work so that he gets a promotion. But the problem with my mil is still there. I have no contact with her because she stirs the pot and treats me like dirt.

    A couple of days ago she rang my husband and told him ‘people are saying why u are trying to book a hall for your grandchild’s (our daughter)party when ur in-laws (my parents) ) have already held it? Luckily I told my husband a couple of days ago that my parents were holding a party for my younger sister in India (they were there visiting too) so he told his mom so and so. Instead she goes to find out at some relatives house whose party was held etc to make sure. Can u imagine if I hadn’t told my husband? He already has a strained relationship with my parents (doesn’t talk to them and hates them) and she just wanted to stir the pot. Quite often husband shows bad mood after work saying it’s due to work and less sleep but it comes out later that his mom told him something (usually about me or my family). I really believe in karma and I pray the way she tries to separate a husband from his wife, God shows her by separating her sons from her. She is truly evil. Once I gave money as a good gesture to my father in-laws sister who is a widow (about rs500) mil turned around and scoffed saying who am I? What about me? And she had already taken rs20,000 from my husband. She’s insensitive and immature. What would u do? I do not want to suffer abuse from her anymore. We don’t live with her but it feels like she controls us via phone. I’m going to India for 3 weeks. Please pray for me ladies.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    You have a husband problem, not a MIL problem. A sensible person would shut the nonsense down the second it starts.
     
  3. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    He’s to blame too but he’s attached at the breast. I can’t change that or will it come with time? Or even how to change it? Give him more responsibility? Correct him?
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    You can try family counseling.
     
  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Call your husband more at work and give him more time. Connect to him more. No need to talk about mil. Just make a more close relationship with him so that he become more sensitive about you too.
     

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