Meddlers in our life

sunkan · Apr 15, 2007

Meddlers in our life:
We come across a lot of people who make themselves available for their unsolicited comments, which turn our life upside down! They are very persistent about making themselves trusted, understood, flaunting their nonexistent wisdom and generally are a pain in the neck.

It was in 1974 when as a newly married woman I became a victim of such a person. My husband walked in one day with a drawn face and without any preamble just started shouting at me at the top of his voice, “So you love my cousin more than me, don’t you?” and just locked himself inside a room. I was totally at a loss for words that he could utter something so stupid and lock himself. Any amount of cajoling had no result.

When I came to know of the person responsible for this confusion, I was even more furious. It was a lady friend who was not even aware of my character could get away with something so damaging but how could I ever blame her when the man of my life, could only believe her and not me? None of my relatives were there in Kolkata, even my father was in Bilaspur, and I was at my wit’s end to find a way to get him to know me. I could not afford to walk away in anger. I was prowling like a wild cat not knowing how to get him to open this door. He was going to be a celibate for life he shouted, which even in that poignant situation made me burst out in splits!

But then it was my life and something so serious was happening within one year of my marriage. I wondered if it could be because I planned not to have any baby within one year but wait. Then I struck upon an idea, which worked then but in retrospect appeared sheer stupidity today. Yes, Abhimaan was famous then with amitabh bachan and jayabhaduri playing unforgettable roles and the song Ab tho hai thumse har khushi apni,thumpe marna hai zindagi apni. Oho I sang the full song and slowly he opened the door and hugged me to pardon him! I just though what a nut he was but I did respond and make it up with him. But I avoided the female fiend all my life and the likes of her!…sunkan

Cheeniya · Apr 15, 2007

Dear Sunkan
I am not at all surprised that the Abhiman song brought you together again. It is one of the most moving reunion I have ever witnessed in Indian cinema.
You are very true about the meddlers. Some do it wantonly and others without being aware of the damage they might cause. Both are equally dangerous.
All is well that ends well!
Sri

Chitvish · Apr 15, 2007

Dear sunkan,
This is not about meddlers, but how an apt song fits an occasion.
My daughter got married a few years back, when the Nalangu ceremony was still prevalent. It was more fun than any tradition.
My son-in-law's friends locked him up in a room, saying that my daughter must sing the most apt song to make come out of the room.
She first sang
Poongathave thaaz thiravai
quickly followed by
Enna solli azaithal varuvayo
Eliyen enthanai inithu aatkolla
Out came my son-in-law rushing !!
Love,
Chithra.

Kamla · Apr 15, 2007

Dear Sunkan,

Thanks for letting us peep into incidence out of your past. I first thought it was a forward and was impressed at your frank analytical view of your young married life. It touches upon the naivette and freshness of a young bride trying to deal with the new status in life. You said it right. If the man in your life prefers to believe outsiders, there is pretty little what one can do but take shelter in humor and song. Lucky you, you had song in you always.
Looks like Abhiman has left a deep impression on almost all young women of the time...it being one of my favorite movies too. After watching the movie, on the drive home, my husband said that Jaya's dejected look after the break up reminded him of me after we have had one of our showdowns!
Enjoyed this post of yours.

L, Kamla

cheer · Apr 15, 2007

Dear Sunkun,

Thanx for sharing this nice post with us, Yeah sometime small things also matters in our life like this. Sometime instead of get angry to the circumstances, we should look out how to avoid it.

raginiprakash · Apr 15, 2007

Dear Sunkan,

That was a great post with a real life incident thrown in!

Meddlers.....i'm sure all of us have come across at least one such person (if not more!) in our everyday lives. They come in the form of so called friends, relatives, well wishers, etc. They either offer unwarranted advice (that's one thing that comes free & sometimes without asking), poison your mind, lower your self-esteem, make you feel inadequate or incompetent, the list is endless.

I believe (maybe be wrong) that such behaviour stems out of jealousy or their own complexes that they may be battling within, which makes them enjoy being a sadist.

Oh! yeah.....if one happens to get caught in their web, they can do enormous damage to one's life!

Cheers!
Ragini.

BhargaviChakravarthy · Apr 15, 2007

Hi,
You have humourously tackled the situation.You know the number of people who corrupt our mind is more than the people who are geniuine.A serious but enjoyable post.

sunkan · Apr 16, 2007

dear sri,chitra, kamala,
the abhimaan song had been famous but it was ramasmarana that day for me...thanks for ur feed back...regards sunkan

sunkan · Apr 16, 2007

dear cheer,
thanku for cheering me, those were the days, the wisdom we seek to solve the issues in that young age, somehow we always want to do the right things but it never turns out the way we would appreciate it to be...regards sunkan