Mean And So Called Friends

Hi all,

This is the first time I am posting my problem as new thread here,though I regularly read this forum!! hopefully I will be able to explain you guys my pain in so called friendships...

I always have this problem with people in general that whenever I m into groups or at workplace or anywhere where there are ladies involved be in the form of so called friends or colleagues or even for a very few interactions, I Always find that they try to put me down or others, belittle or bully etc and I always strugle with such people, I completely looses my peace of mind, I feel this world is becoming cruel day by day...
Recently I had this experience,
I am a singer and I got the opportunity to perform in one of the prestigious Europe prog, so I thought of involving 2 more singers along with me, one of them was a close friend more than 12 years and suddenly she asked me about if there is any opportunity to sing and the other one was a Dr by profession but she was a singer from another group with whom I did some friendly prog but I had a very bad experience in this incidence, I am a very soft spoken by nature and always believed in pure character so I am extremely cautious about my talk when ever I communicate with others and always respects others opinion but what I got here sleepless nights, bullying, putting down
But this was all in so called friendships, I mean there was nothing professional as such because the event was for charity and it was for 3 days so we were going just to showcase our talent as celebrities come for this event so there was nothing professional as such involved but still we had the responsibility of managing it well, the close friend which I said earlier was not at all a good singer, and later on I realised that she is actually struggling but she was so aggressive so dominating in her interactions and I always used to feel that why such ladies even exist? What do they get out of all this?
My question in general how to handle such people ?
Please pour your thoughts on this,
I still have not managed to explain what happened to me exactly but pls write something to me, I will be grateful to you ..may be I could open up bit more as write now just can't think of anything...
Cheers

 

Hi Gaiya3

 

Hi Gaiya3,
Thank you for your reply,
You got some wrong impression about what I posted as by saying why do such ladies exist? I was actually pointing to their thought process, cunning attitudes but I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings in any way...
I am not a wicked woman to question anybody's existence, I really didn't mean that, it is just my frustration about life in general and so called friendships ...

The so called friend was my friend for last 12 years was because we don't stay at one place, she lives in a different city and we met through our husband as they were colleagues and I was always little under of her in the sence, she had a good career so always respected her for that because I like virtuous people around, we somehow could gel with each other so it continued but generally I have seen that it is me who does lot of giving in friendships and so it lasted for so long I really still don't mind because not everyone has the same heart as we so I don't expect others to do to that extent but it hurts when you give so much in friendships but when time comes these people just to keep their foot up, stoop to such horrific level that it's beyond imagination.

You also mentioned that I judged her professional ability so my take is yes ofcourse

because it was the professional event and I was responsible from coordinating to execution for the time slot which I got, I could have performed a solo prog but I thought of involving others to get them the benefit so it was my responsibility to see that our programme goes well and up to the professional standard, and if this friend of mine when she realised that she is not capable enough, she tried to spoil the environment by saying some nasty things for e.g we decided some dates to do rehearsals and asked others if they are OK to do for so n so date as I had to book train tickets which if not booked in advance are very expensive and she was ok that time when later on we were discussing as to how to plan the day, and my tickets were already booked she suddenly said oh I can't make it
as I have a birthday party..we all were stunned, she further said that I never asked them before booking my tickets..
This is just a very small example, I was not going to get paid for it but there was so much pain I had in coordinating the event, so getting paid doesn't define professionalism
Work does, so I don't get what you mean here, I was not there to hangout with her and to recollect memories but to work on something together ...hope it clarifies your doubts

 

Hi Chocolatey,

Thank you so much for your reply,
I do understand that if we don't get along then we should stop the friendship but my pain is ladies mostly who are into professional career or who has that kind of mindset always have a very rough heart and has shrewd ways in interactions which not only hurts but spoils lives..
I had this no if times and I had even lost my jobs earlier because of politics of such ladies..
Some astrologer did say this to me that I have some problem in my kundali where I will always strugle in relationships but I still don't want to believe on this as I m just trying to find ways where I could more smartly without getting hurt will be able to handle such situations ..