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Marital Affair

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mrsjerry, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. mrsjerry

    mrsjerry New IL'ite

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    Hi Peeps

    I am a 40 year old lady married with 2 kids, and have fallen for a 28 year old man. I know at some point it is wrong, but being with him provides me all that I had been longing for through out my life.
    We are very initmate and the outcome of that intimacy makes me feel like heaven on earth.
    I know my concsience keeps on ticking me, but I just cant help it.

    Please Advise.
     
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  2. puspita

    puspita Silver IL'ite

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    No1 can help u here...u may get some suggestions, but u only can solve this!!Just think what u r doing...dont think that "at some point it is wrong"...
    In my view it is wrong at every point...

    what abt ur husband? Do u stay with him??
     
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  3. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    mrs jerry,
    just sit alone and think all these,
    1.what made u fell for him? looks?
    2. is there an emotional connect between u two? other than just physical intimacy?
    3.hw close ur with ur husband? where does he live? -- what is lacking in him? tht u seek in d other man?
    4.children ? do u like them?

    finally, r there any other alternatives to avoid him? like friends, good books, a hobby... extra time with ur children etc?? find out ...

    tc
     
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  4. anushri

    anushri IL Hall of Fame

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    Noone will support your extra-m here.
    May be you do not have many friends to keep you occupied. This is 100% cheating. Don't feel proud that some 28year old has fallen for you. There must be some motive behind it. Don't you feel guilty whenever you face your kids after meeting that guy? If you don't feel guilty then something terribly wrong with you. Get a psychiatrist's help. Better make it fast before it becomes too late. Again do not argue with us saying that it is true love, divine,pure etc. Do you think you need to continue this at the cost of your kids' happiness?

    If you really want to come out of it, then keep yourself occupied. Join some dance/yoga class which will make you tired physically, hence no time for non-sense,stupidity
     
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  5. Gaur78

    Gaur78 Gold IL'ite

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    Hello MrsJerry,

    When there is no love & caring showered within the family some tend to look outside. Even the simple 'Hello' from the outsider will be a heaven to them.

    Before answering your query, let me ask you: Haven't you thought about your husband before getting into a relationship? Haven't you thought about your kids before? What would you do, if your husband did the same thing?? Cheating is cheating - No matter who does it? So what kind of advice do you expect from us?

    In your case: You haven't mentioned about your husband? Are you staying alone with your kids in Abu Dhabi? Does your kids know about this guy? How do they call him? This guy who entered your life would run sooner. He might have known about your life very well and started ruining it. Cut-off the relationship with this guy. Go for a counselling. Love your kids and spend your time with them. Give life to your old hobbies. It helps a little and may be slowly you will come out of your guiltiness.
     
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  6. AshMenon

    AshMenon Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Mrs Jerry,

    I see that you have not mentioned about your DH [hubby] ... IMHO, No matter what, this affair is not right at all. :bonkIf you have problems with your hubby, please get it sorted out. :hide: I would also advice you to spend your time reading, doing art or blog instead of longing for that guy. Also, please spend time with your kids. :)

    Do consider how will be your reaction, if it was your hubby in your shoes...i.e, how would you feel if he fell for a girl a little more than half his age.
     
  7. lakshmilife

    lakshmilife Junior IL'ite

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    Hi Mrs Jerry,
    I know you are in a difficult situation where you are relishing upon your current state and cannot give it up at the same time frightened to the core of your future.We all will give you suggestions that would be right in terms of being ideal solution from our perspective.But you are the one who is the best to judge the pros and cons we donot know you your family and the man you are intimate with.Just writing down two lines on this platform will not provide you any solution.
     
  8. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    mrs jerry.. just do a self analysis n come back... we ll try finding a solution here... we r all here.. to bring u out of this... but be willing... tc
     
  9. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    You would have never gone for a relationship outside marriage for ur own happiness if u had thought of ur kids' happiness atleast for a second in ur life... Ur intimacy with ur husband brought those innocent souls to this earth and must have the feeling of being in heaven on earth when u say those innocent faces and not with some 28 year old guy... Please think of ur husband who might be working hard just for ur and ur kids sake and on the other side ur cheating him... If u believe in God, remember that He is watching u... And please dont spoil ur own family life, life of ur kids and dont be the reason for someone else's family to break...
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Mrs.Jerry, at 40, you feel the need to be cherished both physically and mentally as you are knocking at the pre-menopausal stage and you are at cross roads thinking about me, when the 20-30's and 30's-40's went thinking about others and suddenly you wake up at 40's, looking back and forward. with the kids who are already independent, taking care of themselves, and the household that runs smoothly and an ever busy husband, are said to be the recipes for ema in the 40+ category as per a survey i had come across some time back. and i am sure you will be ticking few of these..

    I think the 28 year old is staying as a bachelor and had latched on to you for the easily offered physical intimacy (which is something i have heard a lot about in my exposure to 10 years of gulf)

    It is nothing but your body hormones that are playing havoc and add to that you have given in to temptation.

    No where have you talked about your husband or kids.. maybe you need to take some time, to look at your life, both family and also your relationship with your husband. if you need a new life in it, go for some changes in your life style. look inside rather than looking outside.

    Last but not least, it is going to be exciting, as long as you feel you are not going to be caught. the day your children and your husband come to know, how are you going to face it..maybe that is what you need to look at right now..since there is a niggle at times, maybe there is still hope for you..
     
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