Lost in the ups n downs ...

hey Flyinghigh83
what u hv been through brought down tears ... but as I read thru i find u doing well in ur job that got a smile ... they say that most of the things are more in the mind than actual ...the past is in ur mind ... no one wud know of it until n unless u tell it out to ppl ....believe me ppl/society would always talk n mostly behind the back ...forget them..
thank god for all the blessings you currently have, try to meditate n pray ...in fact the best addiction anyone needs is prayers/faith in the Almighty...

 

you can get transfer to new place and u can start a new life forgetting everything. The new enviornment will change you lot.

 

Vent out all you want in IL.. This place is amazing and you will get support you might not receive from your close friends.

Once you vent out and feel at peace, project the cool confident inmage to your friends and colleagues. From my personal exp, it is best to keep personal life away from colleagues and peers. Some try to take undue advantage of you using that info.

 

Dear FLYHIGH83
At the onset, wish you a marvelously good 2012.

Lets get some basics straight. All of us do have problems, may be of different sort and magnitude, but letzzz face it....moving from one day to the next is a big challenge in present times. If you are working and have to put up with bad coworkers/you have a terrible personal life, life becomes bitter to the core. Like in your case you have every reason to feel the way you feel. But the good part is you have been strong all along, emerged a winner rather than a loser! You are independent, you have strong morals, you see your flaws as well!
There are men who just see women as a commodity, and their fat egos weep to see a women reject their vested interest advances. Similarly, there are cheap women around too. Look at the issues we see in Indus ladies daily, infidility, EMA's.....there are women who jump into bed with another lady's DH without a second thought? Does that mean we are all like that?
So, we have to accept that there are fine young men too; compassionate and considerate- who value woman for what they are, and trust me there are many of them around. So pls. remove this negativity of men in general! Move on. Put your previous life behind you. BTW...do your children live with you??? Keep your mind open, go out with well-meaning friends...... meditation, prayer, yoga, does make you relaxed both physically and mentally. I strongly believe if our heart is clean and thoughts pure, eventually the best will come back to us. If you come across some good guy, get to know him ......who knows may be you will start a new fulfilling life all over again! May 2012 be for you a year of love, peace and happiness.
Mega

 

Please practice yoga and meditation regularly. Make it part of your everyday life.

 

Flyinghigh,

I am very sorry for all the things you have been through. You have received many good suggestions and ideas from the rest of the ladies. But I'm afraid I'm going to give you a very bitter pill to swallow in order to help you in your healing process...and that is in one word: FORGIVE. I guess it is safe to assume, after all these years of broken dreams, ambitions, trust deficit, and abuse, you have enough anger, frustration and bitterness stored up somewhere inside you. As long as that festers within, you will not be able to move on and have a peaceful future. It is a very tough ask and I know it is easier said than done, but if you have any resentment towards your DH, in-laws, etc, let go of it and forgive them. Remember this: You are forgiving them for YOUR inner well-being...I heard someone say that anger and resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person!

It may appear that every man is a dog and a masochist, but it is not so. I hope you meet the right person at the right time. But, with your divorce proceedings on the cards, I strongly recommend you keep yourself surrounded by people you love and trust and not try to "make friends" just to forget your past. The danger is that you are in a very emotionally vulnerable place right now and, unfortunately, there will be people who will try to take advantage of you during this time. Try to separate your personal issues from your workplace...don't give your colleagues and peers a reason to believe that you are professionally incompetent or that you are "losing it". I wish you all the best during this New Year!

 

More than the SO CALLED MEDITATION, i would suggest therapy/counselling.

Seems like you were in a mental confusion/trauma whenyou came to know that you are an adopted kid...but what I didnt understand is...were your parents ill treating you??? if they were just like normal parents..why make the issue of adoption a big thing?? dont try to relate the adopted kid fact with your divorce...

basically you married at an early age...had kids at an early age even before you actually got a chance to understand your husband....its not your fault that you married an abusive guy...

Pls go for some therapy to come out of all this....speak your heart out...and do not share info to others who ever comes across as nice n courteous...not everyone can understand the dilemma of a divorcee or the situation or acknowledgement they need.

Great part of your story is you getting a job and climing up the corporate ladder...good job on that and pls concentrate on your kids and job atleast for some more time....just be open to friendship with others...but unless someone shows genuine interest (apart from physical interest or EMA) do not rush in with any judgements.