Looking For Some Wise Advise/help!!!!

this looks like movie love...

so tough..should we hurt parents for love or should be give up on love??
Hmm..
well..wait for some more time to convince them,if not choose your "priority"

If i wear you,I will be practical at this time.how?
If the guy looks good,educated,good human then I will go ahead and get married..
coz we also have to think about our future?love is one thing but you should see how secure your future also is with this guy.
If this is jusst blind love,i will wait for him to get settled and then see what needs to be done

 

Hi Unluckygirl123,

this was the same situation with my marriage also. But we waited for 7 ( 2003 to 2011) long years for the parents to calm down.
when we both waited parents themselves came down and arranged for marriges inspite of the finincial differences.

The key here is your thought. You have to be confident and believe that this marriage will happen with all the relatives and parents around. People around can tell you to marry and not to waste time. you have waited all these 4 yrs, try waiting more for 2 years... Believe that marriage will happen. dream about your marriage. you can feel some philosophy. But this is the truth with my side. had i not believed, 2 families with different background both financially & culturally would not have come down to arrange our marriage


Based on my situtations i am suggesting you..

Good luck friend.

 

In all love marriages, parents wanted to cut off the pair and wanted to arrange a good pair for their ward, regardless of their ward's happines.. This is not a new issue.

In every part of India, even in arranged marriages, Boy's parents will have these kinds of attitudes.

if your bf stands aganist their parents letting them know what ever time it takes he will marry only you, sure they will come down. It is in your husband's hands. Tell your bf to talk to some of his relative so that they can convience his parents.

At your side, you have to be strong aganist your parents. Sure your love will workout. Never let doubts creep in..

Belief works best only if you believe in.

 

And you still want this......

Why? Why do you want both sides in a formal wedding when you know the economic difference is too great and it matters to his parents?Do you want your parents to be formally insulted in front of a larger audience for something they have no hand n and no control over.?Is this the return they get for loving you and raising you?

Why do you want to live with them after marriage?Do you think they are going to change as people or their thinking is going to change?

OP....do you trust this guy to stand by you?
Do you think you both can have a good life with what you earn?
Do you think this guy will be okay living without the luxury that his financially strong family provides him?
Do you think he will be able to do this without resentment?

If you feel the guy is gong to stand by you and you both can have a good life ....go head and have a court wedding.Take your parents too for the wedding.Don't burden your parents with having to deal with people who are likely to humiliate them.It s also not fair to expect them to conduct a wedding that is beyond their means.

If you choose to have a court wedding....plan for it.
Find a place to stay,save a few months rent.Buy some of the basic stuff that you both will be requiring for the start of new life. Then only marry ,Sometimes the reality of life makes the romance fade away.

Good Luck.

 

I agree with YellowMango on the below.

At times The reality of life makes romance fade away.

On trying to convience both parents we lost our temper and his parents seeing his boy completely changed and stubborn came down.

Relatives are always the same. His parents will get a point / situtaion where they have to choose between their ego and their son.

Sure that point they will come down. be confident

 

If you do choose a court marriage. Inform in laws in advance(a few days if in the same city) and send them an invitation /card(even if it is hand written) to the court with date and time.Rest leave it to them.If they want to come,they can come.

If they relent and ask you to stall and have a proper wedding,plan a simple temple wedding instead but do not postpone.Give them the option of organizing the reception if they want.

 

I want to add something,

Even if you get married now, after few months or years or after baby is born your in-laws will come into picture. Now itself your BF can't stop insulting etc to your parents. tomorrow can u be sure that they may not be insulting you.
Before marriage u think after marriage everything will be ok, but after marriage u are tied, if ur H is not nice and can't stand for u that is the problem.

It all depends on how the guy is, is he very nice human with good values and as a person general is he good? Do u think he always impresses with his good behaviour. You both discuss all these issues tomorrow will come , if u both together in everything and discuss other can't separate you both,