Live A Life Of Dignity At Old Age

There's just one thing I did not like that your sister avoided meeting her old parents for 7 years to save travel money. Don't want to judge her maybe her husband did not allow.That's the problem with patriarchy I think at that time women were forced by society to blindly follow norms of being "soft and sacrificing ideal wives and mothers" for their husband and kids, instead of being strong and taking right decisions regarding her family(parents, husband, kids) like:-

• duty of visiting her own old parents
• being a strong and strict mother for the well being of the child(cigarettes issue)
• being a bold person who is able to plan future properly without guilt

I can only blame patriarchy for not allowing women to take strong and right decisions. What is glorified by patriarchy as sacrifice turned out to have negative and cruel consequences for everyone involved unfortunately.Her parents suffered and her children suffered,

Patriarchy expects women to forget their parents after marriage.Alas only if she had taken out time to visit her father more often without counting money she might have been able to guide her from the start and save her from these consequences. Ofcourse it must have caused great pain to her no dneying. Let's not forget our old parents for the sake of husbands/children- after-all our parents are the ones who love us unconditionally and give us the best advice(usually). I hope her children will realise this too.I think such stories are a lesson for women to stand up against being expected to blindly follow a societal image.

 

Very painful to read @jayasala42 ma'am. However, the message is clear. As we enter the twilight years this is a good reminder to stop and reconsider how we live our lives.

 

Dear Jaya,
Your sister having three children and even though sacrificed her life for them is now suffering with mental agony is very deplorable. Yet she is putting up a brave face.
Lots of parents are in the same situation. Yet they don't like to show their children in bad light keeping in mind of family dignity.
Parents should think of their old age and keep money separately for their sustenance in stead of depending on the children.
PS

 

• Hello. Thanks.the situation perhaps varies from country to country. The most aged parents in Japan is almost 40 % of total population and they are taken care of both by their children and Government as well. Such a small nation takes great care of their spent force!

Regards.
God save all DILs and aged parents. D for despondent or and depression in DILs.

 

@nakshatra1 reading responses to madam sister’s post is tear jerking.
2. During the life time of parents, their wedded sons may or may not take care of their welfare in satisfactory manner but after their demise some of them are very particular in offerings and perform the connected rituals on parents death anniversary - thitdhi -fearing pithru dosham.!? Pithrus would always seek their wards happiness irrespective of whether here or in heaven or in nether world. So When they are alive sons and or daughters should take care of them.
3. I like the concluding sentence in response #21 but there can not be any universal law for it.
4. In Tamilnadu there is a legislative law that earning son or sons shall take care of dependent parents’ welfare but many disgruntled parents do not complaint to authorities fearing reprisals. As a welfare measure, Tamil Nadu Government introduced a scheme where aged parents are given monthly solatium.
Thanks and Regards.