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Live A Life Of Dignity At Old Age

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jayasala42, May 25, 2018.

  1. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,
    One should be fortunate to have children who understand and realise the difficulties.Though many children are good and considerate,situation is the worst player and dominates.Even children who are very considerate while young, may turn topsy turvy.While hoping for the best, we have to prepare for the worst also.

    jayasala 42
     
  2. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jskls,

    I too received a similar forward from someone and I was totally reminded of my sister and father's advice in 1980.After all messages and forwards emanate out of personal experiences only.When we receive a message, it reads like an imaginary story.When we/our close relatives face similar problems, it matters a lot.It disturbs us very much when we are forced to remain silent spectators .
    This was the position in many houses earlier.Slowly times are changing, sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse.
    My sister is suffering in spite of having 4 children.Even a parent with single child may face similar situation.
    Are we underestimating our children?Or situation causes such behavioural change.We can only pray that God should give us strength of mind to face any situation.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  3. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Well said! I learned the hard lesson from my relatives in India.

    Pay it forward....few examples from recent News.

    Movie actor Jackie Chen intended to give his entire fortune to charity, totally disinheriting his offspring or other family members.

    Here's Why Jackie Chan's Son Will Get None Of His $130M Fortune

    These frugal millionaires wore faded clothes and drove used cars, keeping their fortunes a secret until their death and donated sizable amount to charity.

    They lived modestly and quietly saved. Then they left millions to charity.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2018
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Ma'am, I feel very sorry for your sister. One must be wondering what 'pavaam' they did that a child would ask rent of a 94-year old mother. This is a cautionary tale.
     
  5. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for an eye opening post.
    I'm in late twenties, I think should start saving for our retirement.
    Our generation has huge home loans, car loans, kids education from KG to PG is an
    Sometimes home/car loans are imposed indirectly by pil/parents to show off society/ relatives.
    I wonder how parents/ grandparents managed household, weddings and numerous expenses.
    Last generation people have/ had good generous open hearted people around.
    You are a good sister... From your sister life is don't be too good anyone, be it your child.
     
  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Poovai.
    Situations, instead of teaching good moral lessons, teach the other way.What an irony!My mother very often used to say'from some we learn how to be and from some we learn how not to be'.,that is how not to be too generous, how not to be too sacrificial,how not to be too affectionate.Within a period of 150 years, another new pattern is going to emerge-Whether is for good or bad-we have to wait and see.
    Jayasala42

    Jayasala 42
     
  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Vedhavalli.The stories of so many sisters are untold and buried in tears.While we start analysing these situations on case to case basis,
    we find that neither the parents nor the children can be entirely blamed.Parents have been too affectionate at the cost of their comforts, and children are becoming too analytical and too logical.Both look justifiable at their levels.Only the result is undesirable.A balanced approach may yield better results.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  8. Mistt

    Mistt Platinum IL'ite

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    @jayasala42 ma'am
    You gave wothful advice through your Sister's life story. She self sacrificed for her family THE EXTREMe. She committed blunder when encouraging her son's bad habits indirectly and she hadn't saved much for herself for her old age.
    When we are sacrificing ourself We should aware of what / when to , whom / why for and till one extent.
    I really sad for her current situation and her children's cruel attitude towards their MOM . Disgusting !
     
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  9. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mistt,
    We feel whether it is worthwhile to sacrifice so much for the children, who may totally turn against their mother.
    We are ashamed of ourselves.Living within a km radius I am unable to go to her house, since calling bell has been disconnected.When I tap the door, I can hear a feeble voice asking me to go home and not to waste my time in walking to her house.I saw her last in March 2017.We are keeping our fingers crossed.

    jayasala 42
     
  10. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear jayasala madam,
    The more i read of your sister's plight it appears so unjustifiable that own daughters/son, can isolate her to the extent of not allowing her own sister to talk and meet! Im sure u have tried all methods, including police complaint, as u had mentioned once earlier. It is no use appealing to your sister, as she appears to be under their control clearly. Why dont u all have a meeting with the daughters/son, pointing out let them look after her the way the want, but restriction for people visiting is down right criminal. Any person isolated in this manner can become mentally sick and they will be to blame for that! Oh God, just cannot digest such a situation, and I can imagine how badly it will affect you to! Take care, and give it a try once again taking the whole family into confidence, before it is too late, and the guilt becomes permanent. God bless!
     
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