Life Has Become Very Heavy

When it is heavy, only you can decide to put it down..... this advice comes in various threads:

 

If you can drive through the crazy Bangalore traffic, you are brave and can totally handle this. Whatever happened in your childhood is the past, its time for you to focus on the present and take charge so you have a decent future ! good luck !

 

I dont get it. In facebook one can unfriend anyone very easily. He is just finding reasons to explain his behavior that all and proving his innocence. Dont believe it. Save all his chats as a proof. Look like you have access to his fc account.

He is an adult. He knows very well that he is not doing good things. To hide this facts and to silence you, he is playing these tricks. If you fall into this trap, he will continue for for ever. So lady, set your foot down. If he is mistreating you , then why you need to give him all service including giving salary. Tell him that these kind of tricks wont work any more. Have a face to face discussion with him.

Be strong. Only you can decide what you can accept or not. If you cannot accept his behavior , pl find ways to move out (I know it is not easy, but you can live your life). If not find ways to live with it by taking full control of your life (that is also tough). The decision is in your hands.

 

Hello @shashivanshi

From what you write, this is what I understand:
1. You have a very unsupportive husband and In-laws
2. Your own family is not very supportive
3. You work in IT, and despite not having a great career, you are earning a decent salary, to take care of your home.
4. Your husband is disinterested and possibly cheating, and yet demands that you hand over your money.
5. You have a young child, under 2 years old.

First of all, I will tell you up front that your husband has NO right to treat you like this. There is no prayer or adjusting that will make things better on this end. You seem pretty independent, but I will still reiterate that you need to be financially independent (with a separate bank account that he has no access to). Also, I request that you maintain your phone separately, and not share your password. You have mentioned that you plan to change your job. Please pursue this.

Now, to your husband. How involved is he with your child? Is he a good parent, is he interested? Is he interested in maintaining a good environment for your child? If none of this is a yes, I am sure you can deduce that I would say to find a way out of this marriage. It's not healthy for you or your child.
If he is interested in your child, and by extension you, it is in your hands to talk to him and try to make him understand that you will not continue to live like this. Tell him that, for the good of the family, he will have to contribute and be interested in the people (not the money). Tell him, for the time being, you will manage your money, and he will manage his, and you will jointly take care of household expenses, until you find a better budget schedule. If he takes it poorly, don't get offended or emotional, just say that you are prepared to take the steps to improve our life (and mean it).

I hope some of this may be helpful. I am sorry that you are going through such a tough circumstance. Your husband using ignorance of technology is a blatant lie, especially for someone in this generation. I know it hurts you to know this side of him, so I am wondering why you want to stay with such a hurtful man.

 

Its good that you have a job.
Just divorce him.
Take care of ur kid.