Lets discuss changes after marriage

yes dear i completely agree with you. after marriage or can say after we have grown up every new day i new lesson for us to learn
someone rightly said that in school they first teach and then take exam. and life first take exam and then teach us...strange but true

 

Before : Am free bird can fly where ever i wish not crossing boundaries
After : even now free to do what i wish, have should &must inform

 

i can say this is called to grow up. we cannot be same thru out the life. we need to change from time to time to play different role.

 

OP,

You asked an open ended question and ppl replied according to their mood or experience. It is not right for you to pinpoint and judge some of the replies and try to teach each of them - this is not good, that is bad, part of growing up etc. We are all adults here. If you only wanted positive replies then specify that in your OP or later in an additional post.

 

Unlearn that dear. Just accept whatever they say at face value. The more we think, the more we hurt ourselves. If they really mean something other than what they say and you don't read into it, it is going to frustrate them more and more. Slowly you will find yourself caring less about what they say.

 

Believe it or not but ignorance proved to be a bliss in this case for me.

for the first few years after marriage, I was too naive to understand the taunts from my MIL and so obviously didnt act according to how she wanted. she used to get frustrated and after taunting and hinting so many times she had to finally speak directly for me to do whatever it was she wanted. And me being a straight forward person used to outright say no in case I didnt agree, giving my reasons OR if I agreed then good, I did it.

But it was so good to not understand the indirectness - I didnt feel hurt, I didnt think too much.

Then after some time I learnt and gained some maturity and started understanding. And then it shone upon me that all those years all the things she had said were actually meant to be taunts!! LOL!

e.g. she used to tell all these stories about how XYZ get calls from their DIL’s parents all the time. She used to say that every day. I used to listen and think maybe she forgot she already told me that yesterday. Then I got busy with other things. Finally she said one day “don’t you understand – Ask your parents to call us” I said “you have the number – call them anytime you like” And trust me – no mal intention there. I was being polite and logical that why pass a message through me sitting in a foreign country. You live in same city and if you have sthig imp 2 talk about just call, my parents have restrictions about who and when should call them.
But now that I understand that that is what she is trying to say, everytime she goes on that tangent, I start getting frustrated with her. So I feel I was so much happier when I didn’t understand.

 

I forgot to say one important one
Before marriage :we love our mothers
After marriage: we will know value of moms this is the major one i came to know after marriage how hard they work to clean arrange house and pack bf lunch snacks dinner at right time..hatsoff to mom's