Lesson

“We are going to sing bhajans for 24 hours for this Akandha Bhajan” said this doctor friend of ours. I politely asked, “What? Can we sing Bhajans non-stop for 24 hours? How is it possible?” and she replied, “Wait and watch. It would happen. The Lord will send people to participate in the event to make it high energy and vibrant”. Unconvinced by her answer, I was shaking my head and walked into my car. She followed us and asked my wife politely, “Does your husband sing?” and my wife replied, “No, he never sang a bhajan in his life so far”. She said, “You would sing during this Akhanda Bhajan”. My wife laughed at me and I was surprised by the comment of this doctor who was talking like a possessed individual.

It happened in 2003 when I was 49 years old. How in the world anyone could learn how to sing a Bhajan at that age having no knowledge how to sing with good Bhava, proper Raga and syncing with the beat? I never learned music formally. This question daunted me not letting me do anything but thinking about it. Sooner than later, for some strange reason I was determined to fulfill her wishes. Thoughts of me being ridiculed for singing so terrible crossed my mind but I decided to set aside my ego and try it. I was evaluating what are things I could do to render a bhajan? I realized that a true prayer to the Lord to accept my singing like a garland before rendering a bhajan might help. I looked up the clues for singing well and every path showed only to study the nuances of how other famous bhajan singers sing. I became a good listener carefully listening to details of a few simple bhajans. Third, I also learned that practicing the bhajans many times before rendering them to the Lord with due care and diligence especially in a spiritually-elevating setting helps as well.

Finally, the D Day arrived. My heart was pounding thinking about my new adventure. There were two Harmonium players, 4 Kanjira players, 2 Dholak players and 2 Tabla players assembled for 24-hour session. There were 60 people to sing non-stop for 24 hours. I was very nervous but left everything to the Lord. The mic was handed over to me when the previous singer was singing her bhajan, I stayed quiet and prayed to the Lord. After closing my eyes and I started singing, “Dasaradha Nandhana Rama, Daya Sagara Rama”. I didn’t even know when I started and when I stopped singing. Finally, the fear of singing disappeared. I continued my practices of singing bhajans in the shower, while driving the car, in the park while walking and so on. In the last 15 years, I sang over thousands of times every week and I began enjoying thinking of the Lord for a few hours every week. It gives me great peace of mind. I always look forward to the visit to the spiritual center every Sunday. I actively participate in the discussions about the spiritual discourses of many teachers.

Once I was appointed as the President of the spiritual center a few years back, my ego got elevated alarmingly. In my mind I was always thinking that I should render a bhajan on every important event. On a Guru Poornima day in 2008, the mic never came to me and the function ended without me singing. My ego didn’t permit me to demand for the mic either. When Aarathi was sung, I was deeply hurt and couldn’t concentrate on the divinity. My ego was badly hurt, and I came back home with tears in my eyes feeling insulted. My wife asked what was wrong and I didn’t answer her and kept it to myself. My childish behavior continued all day and went to sleep with bruised ego.

The next day morning I got a call from this doctor and asked me whether I could come for a few minutes to the spiritual center. When I inquired for the reason, she told that she was planning to remove all the flower arrangements (Nirmalyam) and would like to render a few bhajans before doing that. I went to the spiritual center and she asked me to sing 3 bhajans on that day before removing the flower arrangements. I sang to my heart’s content and returned crying again. What a great lesson the Lord taught me that I was rendering bhajans only to Him and not to the audience in the spiritual center. He wanted to destroy my ego by making me sing facing Him instead of a big audience and used this doctor as an instrument to teach me that lesson. Stranger are the ways experiences happen to teach us important lessons in our lives.

 

Dear Vijiakka,

Thank you for your first response. When I sing soaked in devotion, I forget myself and all my worries. That is when I feel living in the present moment and I wish I could learn how to practice being in the present moment regularly on everything I do like what I mentioned to @girvani.

It is so nice to know that your dad used to take you for bhajans when you were young. I used to only attend the discourses by Kripananda Variyar, Anantharama Dikshidhar and other learned people. Listening to them how they teach lessons out of epics and other interesting topics used to enlighten me so much when I was young. The seeds for my spiritual development happened very early in my life as well. Somewhere in between, I lost the track but got caught up again when I reached 50s.

Viswa

 

Dear Geeta,

Thank you for your response. What you said is very true. When I search myself, I can never find my ego but when I surrender to the Lord, He finds it for me. More I know, larger it grows and it is hidden behind my knowledge. Devotion and humility are the only two herbal cures for this malignant growth. Sometimes, I learn it through humiliating experiences.

Viswa

 

Dear Adharv,

Ahh! Very kind of you to say that. That dedication developed over a period of time once I started enjoying being in the present moment with closed eyes. Nowadays, I don't sing a Bhajan in the spiritual center until I have practiced it over and over again many times. I give much more importance to this than preparing for a speech or completing a task in my regular life.

I feel truly humbled by your words.

Viswa

 

My Dearest Vani,

Only people who had similar intoxicating experiences of pouring their heart out and be in the present moment would comprehend the emotions behind that feeling. I was very happy to read your response. It is amazing vibration I used to experience throughout my stay in the Akhanda Bhajan every year. Despite the air-conditioned hall, we all used to sweat out of the heat generated from the synchronized devotional singing. There has to be a rational for dedicating a day like that for namasmarana (repeating the name) suggested by the Lord. I am so glad to know that this particular Bhajan has a special place in your heart.

You are right. Sometimes, you feel the presence of divinity in a subtle way. Once when I was singing the Bhajan, "Nandalala" in our spiritual center, the fellow devotees told me that the Rose kept in the arm chair turned direction, a flower garland fell and the wall clock moved from its straight position. All of them might be coincidence but I never got to see them as my eyes were closed.

My son used to play guitar whenever he wanted to feel being in the present moment. Your act of playing violin made me think about it. Let the Lord shower His grace to you, your husband and two wonderful sons.

With love

Viswa