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Left Flabbergasted....

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shama146, Sep 21, 2019.

  1. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    I think many of you have seen this video, where in laws and husband are physically assaulting a women.
    The FIL is a retired judge in Hyderabad. All three are seen assaulting the woman alongwith a maid who comes after sometime. The kids watch in horror.

    This video shook me up. They are an upper middle class family but still physically abusng their DIL because of dowry.
    The matter came into light when the video got viral.

    I am more shocked to hear that this woman still wants to reconcile with her hubby. How could she do so. She herself is B.tech and MBA. Her husband used to beat her mercilessly often. How on earth she again wants to go back. The hubby has applied for divorce.

    I am speechless.....
     
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  2. Dhamini

    Dhamini Platinum IL'ite

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    I too read about this shocking news and seen the videos. It’s very sad to note how in this time and era girls still have to face these kind of abuse.

    We shouldn’t think wrongly about the victim here and take her words at face value especially about her reconciliation statements. She is still in this “Stockholm syndrome” kind of situation. She had been abused for few years now and will need healing time for her thought process to change. She will need time and counselling to get over these things.

    Stockholm syndrome - Wikipedia
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Extremely disturbing and feel very bad for the woman. She looks so pretty and they look so happy in the wedding picture.

    Good for her there is cctv coverage as proof.

    Nothing can excuse such inhuman behavior. It is not a slap or punch inflicted in the heat of the moment. A group of people attacking a helpless woman for a good many minutes.

    But: there is no cctv recording of her parents agreeing to similar demands from the boy's side before the wedding. Most likely there was dowry given to get that match for their daughter.
     
    Amica, shravs3, shama146 and 2 others like this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Disgusting monsters.
    How do so many of them end up in the same family?
    Not a single one with any sense of humanity.

    Felt like vomiting looking at how the @rse**** fil was touching and pawing at her .

    The poor babies ...
    But then there have been cases of these kind of people burning the dil in front of her little children.

    Disgusting monsters !!!
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Nothing can condone the horror we see in the video. But it raises questions.

    In any such dowry harassment case, if the woman's parents did agree to give a certain amount of money before the marriage and some after, and they don't keep their word, what can the man and his parents do?

    If dowry is willingly given before marriage, should it be made clear that it is a one-time thing, and the woman's parents will not continue to keep giving after marriage?
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Seriously ?

    Asking for and giving dowry are both crimes.
    If the culture is such that dowry has to be involved...then get the dowry at the time of marriage.
    Although why would an educated engineer need to give a dowry to marry this ars***** is shocking .

    Guys parents also promise a lot of stuff before marriage...like the woman would be treated with love and dignity.
    What should the woman and her family do when such promises are broken. Hit the guy and his parents,molest the mil ?

    Why should an educated women have to even give dowry in the first place?

    Is giving full dowry a promise of pwrfect behaviour from the husband and in laws?

    Do these people even look like humans who would have treated her better even if their sick demands were met?

    Even in dowry giving and taking culture...there should be some accountability for the behavior of the in laws?
    Smart parents should give this sick dowry in installments based on the way their daughter is treated.
     
  7. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly....Why should an educated girl give dowry in the first place.....

    But why the girl wants to reconcile with the butcher husband ??????
     
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  8. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Now we need ideas on how such performance appraisals would happen. The installments would obviously go down and down as the performer ages.

    If the ccTV is telecast at all of the homes of the girl’s relatives (perhaps Hotstar could buy the rights and resell on the retail subscription market) it would not only help the girl in the purgatory, but also help educate the society —- about the pros and cons of dowry.

    Would this case increase the sale of ccTV units? Would grooms advertise on shadi.com with a proviso on ccTV compliance for the marital home?
     
  9. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    Could it be that she is "saying" she wants to get back with the husband - only so that she doesn't give him the chance of using loop-holes via "mutual-consent" divorce and get away with his part of financially responsibility for raising the kids henceforth? Just a thought...otherwise I can't think of any reason why she'd want to remain with him.

    This is a high-profile case and she really has to tread very carefully (hopefully with some very good lawyers and family support) to get back any sort of normalcy in the long-run for their life ahead.
     
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  10. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Silver IL'ite

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    Poor her. She wanting to get back with her monster hubby is purely because of mental agony. Over the years she has lost her selfworth and confidence due to constant abuse that she is emotionally and mentally broken.

    The physical abuse is easier to heal from but the mental n emotional abuse that she has gone through will probably take forever to comeout from.

    Hope she gets access to professional counsellor who will help her regain her self confidence and help heal herself from within to start a fresh life and be happy to have got freedom from that butcher.

    About dowry, the indian laws are always complicated and sons parents use these very cleverly (i hate to say this!).

    They dont ask direct dowry now a days. It is wrapped under the terms like "gifts for groom n his family as part of traditions".

    And willingly or unwillingly, once the dowry is given, if post marriage a woman is not happy n files for divorce n also dowry harassment, she has to prove it with evidence to court about the harassment.

    Luckily for her in this case, this cctv footage is a big proof against her husband n inlaws.

    But i wonder how many women have proof even if they had been subjected to milder dowry harassment??

    In cases of no proof, as per dowry prohibition law, there are lot of loop holes.

    Like it's written that if girls parents willingly give "gifts" to groom side during marriage, it is not considered under "dowry act".

    Previously decades back, men wanted less educated housewives with hefty dowry package so that they will remain submissive to these MCPs.

    Nowadays women are in worse state coz men want educated n highly earning "modern wife" but with "traditional" values which means be a slave n free maid at home, free caretaker of his parents n a sex machine and a baby popper!.


    Sometimes i wish we never married. Sigh. But then i feel happy for those smaller percentage of women who are lucky to have married into a open minded n good families where their husbands treat them well and inlaws dont interfere much.

    I still feel india will take another 100years to fully progress to that mindset.
     
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