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Left Alone.. Feel My Life Has Come To An End.. Plz Help

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Star25, May 13, 2019.

  1. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh.. OK. Then you have roti-kapda-makhan taken care of. It is not like you'd been abandoned like taken to kumb-mela and left in the crowd, no money, no memory, no gumption to go anywhere situation. Your thread-title was a grand hook, but then here you are, sitting pretty in a comfortable situation. I am so relieved. Carry on, and have fun.
     
    Star25 likes this.
  2. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    @Amulet But roti kapda makaan isnt everything.
     
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  3. khushi2233

    khushi2233 Bronze IL'ite

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    to the @OP, u must learn to be independent, people r going to ER/hospitals all alone n u r worried about staying away from ur parents...

    no use crying over spilled milk n why r u relying on ur parents to find u a match or what they r saying for second marriage or no second marriage..if u don't want to marry or date then also it is completely fine, take a break from everything if required even for some years to focus on what u want out of life ..but if u want to marry, if u go for a typical arranged marriage route, u can't land a good man who is not a mummy's boy

    good successful independent men who are not mummy's boys are attracted to women who are highly independent n professionally successful as these men have too much to lose in case of wrong marriage/divorce so they want an equal woman partner who is independent,financially secure, their equal n like them, who can manage things on her own / makes independent decisions just like these men do as even these kind of men don't want third party interference aka in-laws interference just like women don't want mummy's boys n age is not a big deal for them so don't worry about your age.... so live on ur own, focus on ur career to be financially secure n date for a year or so atleast then u will land a gud man..

    most desi parents r very protective so move out of your house n stay on your own even without a room-mate..unless u live independently on your own, u won't learn how to be independent n make strong decisions or weed out wrong people out of ur life...... without thinking twice, completely block non-family members or family member aunties who r creating negativity around u n tell them u won't tolerate their negativity....unless u live independently for some time, u won't become emotionally strong n will fall into the trap of a wrong man or end up making wrong decisions
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
    shravs3, Star25 and Greenbay like this.
  4. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    'comfortable' is a relative thing, right?
     

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  5. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    @khushi2233 : Thank you so much friend for the detailed reply.. Yes what u said is very true.. I know I need to be independent and not rely on my parents for any kind of support but all these years this was what was going on.. They never allowed me to take any decision on my own.. If I object they will get angry and talk badly so I didn't want to create any uneasiness in the family and accept for everything.. Even my second marriage was not as per my wish it was theirs only.. Now it's as if they have walked away when my life is really messed up...its really hard to take in what they did to me and my belief on them that whatever they do will be for my good only... I just feel like am an orphan in my own family itself... Even when I cry alone there's no one in my family who knows i cry ...well am not self pitying myself but then when there is a person always with u and suddenly leaves u it's really hard to take that.. Anyways I'm slowly trying to change my perspective on people ..and keeping myself happy and not replying on my happiness from others.. My career is also messed up.. I Don know if I will be able to move to software job as I lost 2 years of exp in between when I stayed abroad... And 2 years after moving to India.. But am not losing hope... I'm thinking some say something good will happen.. And moving on with my life.. Like u said most men are mama's boys only and Don behave like a normal guy itself... I will try to be independent and focus on what gives me happiness and work towards it... Thank u so much kushi ..feels good to call u that way :)
     
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  6. khushi2233

    khushi2233 Bronze IL'ite

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    @Star25, don't worry...things will fall in place....even my career got completely messed up when i walked away from marriage as i was also too depressed with stalking n harassment from ex when i had to walk away n i resigned from my job to take a break ...i had to start all over again in my career also but my parents supported me a lot in my every decision .. i thank God everyday for such parents...but i decided to stay completely independently away from family n even siblings to become emotionally strong n that helped me a lot...... some desi men tried to flirt n all but i told them off very quickly because after staying independently for so long i had become emotionally strong to figure out bad apples aka men quickly.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
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  7. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    @khushi2233 : wow superb kushi.. So nice u were able to battle it out and become more confident and emotionally strong.. Am happy for u... It's not easy to come out of the mess that easily.. I can sense how much of pain unwound have gone through.. Ur blessed to have caring parents ..be kushi as always :)
     
  8. ramya8085

    ramya8085 Bronze IL'ite

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    you have got great inputs. i can say only 1 thing. you said you are 37. so even we see conservatively your parents are 60 or above 60. you cannot rely on them emotionally , physically or in anyway for your life decisions. sorry if it hurts. but their wisdom is done after your 1st marriage. now blaming or even relying on them for anything is going to hurt or infact is dangerous

    you have got amazing inputs, move on with your life. divorce if you have to. focus on yourself and proceed.
     
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  9. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks u dear for encouraging me.. Yes I will.. Now am strong after following the advices given by all the ILs ...thank u so much ❤
     

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