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Learning From The Children

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Jun 10, 2019.

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  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    You have perfectly read my mind.
     
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  2. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Divergent views should increase our tolerance and sharpen our intellect. That's what is happening in this thread. Great going indeed. This is the time for singing 'Ho, ho., ho, and a bottle of rum'
    Carry on friends!
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Thanks for your inquisitiveness. Link below would help discover:

    Glossing Over Subject Line

    God - His Domain all embracing including Gloss.
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    There were two requests made here a) one is a request from me to close this thread and b) a request from @Rihana to remove her response despite her finding no offense in her response and liked by you already. I assume you are taking a decision to continue with the thread as well as retain #11 based on your response.

    True. Divergent views should increase our tolerance and sharpen our intellect. Different views are always welcome but not in language that borders with passive aggressiveness as indicated in #19.

    I know you have the right to set the standard on tone and demeanor of responses. I respect your decision. But at the same time, I have my own standards for what is acceptable to me and what I would say in response. That is why I requested this thread to be closed.
     
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  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa
    Knowing me as you do, I stick to my decision of not closing this thread. Why should a relationship get affected because of positional differences? All'z well. Viswa.
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    It is not positional differences that bothers me. @Rihana and I had so many different views in the past and we continue as friends. Believe me, it is not affecting our friendship. What I objected to in this instance is her passive aggressiveness in her language.

    Regarding thread, I am fine with your decision not to close this thread. I have control over what I write and I assure you that everything I write here in IL will not be outside the forum etiquette. :)
     
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  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Divergent views do indeed go on to increase learning. Now we'd all have to review the information on Passive Aggressiveness. Wikipedia is my go-to book for such things.
    I loved Rihana's responses in #11. Crisp and direct responses to seek clarification, and express a different perspective, is a style that is so nice in a discussion forum.
    Happy that the thread is left open, for further inputs. From more busy people who might come in late to put in their 2 cents.
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I have nothing further to add than what I said in #19 about my views why I came to that conclusion. I understand each person may view it differently. What is crisp and direct to seek clarification for one may be subtle insult to others.

    Recently, a talented writer who was nominated 35 times in 35 months left the forum because she felt insulted by her writing not being selected by the moderators. The moderators felt it is accusation of bias whereas she felt it is selective elimination of her nominated posts. Now, would you consider that as crisp and direct response to seek clarification or insult to the moderator for being bias towards certain people? Would you apply the rule divergent view should bring tolerance and sharpen our intellect or is it passive aggressiveness? Not only she left, many of her writings were deleted as well. Should we have different standards for different people based on how we like their writings?

    Therefore, my view is to write in a friendly tone asking clarification on thoughts behind the writings or decisions rather than using confrontational tone. We are friends trying to exchange views and learn from each other and not demonstrating who is more talented. At least, that is my perspective. I could be wrong.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
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  9. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    I have a question regarding the tone to be maintained in replies. If something like post #11 was not from a popular writer, or from a new ID, will your reply be the same as above?

    Some user like me peepin only when we think will my one more yes or no add help them to come to a decision. And we belong to not-so fond -of -writing group, so bringing out the correct tone may not possible always. This means people with limited language skills like me shouldn't give replies. I feel, as long as someone is not directly abusive, the tone shouldn't be a problem while sharing ideas through anonymity.
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Desiindian,

    The standards must be the same whether it is a popular writer or otherwise. The standards don't change based on the background of the individual. If I have maintained a tone that was not acceptable to me, I have apologized in the past to many. In my view, friendly tone is important. Anonymity doesn't give the freedom to be actively or passively aggressive. Consistency in mutual respect is important whether we know the person or not.

    Everyone here has the right to give replies but with the right tone. Sharing different view under anonymity shouldn't relax the mutual respect for the individuals.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
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