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Lack Of Connection

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by overthinker, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    If you are in the USA, it is a new trend to marry and live in separate flats<apartments>. Living Apart Together

    ha..ha..ha... A known freak is better than an unknown probability of a well-matched arrangée on the fone !!
    <I made up that word arrangée, because she'd have become a fiancée, if only she had talked up a little, showed some enthu' or at least faked it a bit.>
     
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I think this in person meeting is so much better than on the phone trying to gauge if it will work!
    Differences are always going to be there. If you can live with what is undesirable in her and vice versa, then that should suffice. Of course after the attraction etc is established.
     
  3. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    This is not normal. She is only looking to come to USA.

    The connection gap will get worse.

    Remember you are only seeing a sneak peak.

    Only reason she is more anxious to talk to you now is because she thought she lost you, i.e. her opportunity to go to USA.


    Plz find another lady who is happy to talk to you.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    That is going to be fun:rolleyes:
    You atleast know what you are going to fight about.
     
    Bestmom, Mistt, Laks09 and 1 other person like this.
  5. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    It is possible that she comes from a conservative background and was told to talk without investing much before meeting the OP in person. She may have heard from someone how Indians settled in the US marry Indian women just for the sake of dowry.

    Not everyone wants to come to the USA. And plans everything around that.

    I dont mean the OP is doing that, but just offering you a different perspective. I somehow have a feeling that the girl is really innocent and belongs to the category of girls who start talking well only after meeting the prospective groom in person or after engagement. I am sure if the OP gives her a solid commitment, she would open up a little more. Without commitment, it is somehow not always possible for the girl to really really try to connect with the guy.
     
  6. overthinker

    overthinker New IL'ite

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    This is exactly what I convinced myself of. The thing is that she has pics of her drinking beer, wine with friends on facebook. She has a decent number of guy friends and girl friends. She goes on regular trips around India and also Europe with her gang. Point is that she is not that shy.

    Also, we don't take dowry.

    Update to the update:
    I called it off with the first girl today.

    The new girl is talking hours and hours with me and is very much into me. She is 100% into me. I am only 10% into her at the moment. :( She is a very caring, affectionate but she is also emotional type. (cries easily is what she told me).

    I don't think I will ever get married or be in a situation where it is 100% on both sides. I will meet with her a couple more times and then decide. Hopefully, after marriage the 10% from my side will increase with time.

    Or I can keep looking for new matches (already saw more than a few matches till now), waste time looking for Ms. Perfect. I am already 31 now.
     
  7. fourthaugust

    fourthaugust Gold IL'ite

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    you are my age...and I am already a mother of two...anyway.marriage is gamble in a true sense(take it from me)...reduce your expectations and look for a nice decent girl..
     
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  8. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow how do you quantify ?
    Anyway 10% only? You have better chances of connect with a total stranger. If after hours and hours of talking and she totally interested in you, you can only reciprocate 10%, hmmm...
     
  9. overthinker

    overthinker New IL'ite

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    We only met less than 1 week back. Talked for like 2 hours in 1 call. And then met face to face 2 other times for 1 hour each.

    But I will meet her couple more times, decide and then give her an answer. Already, she is asking for feedback.

    Can't quantify but I can say that she likes me more than I like her.
     
  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Face to face means ?
    Really met her in person or Skype?
     

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