Kids In America Vs India..virginity..

Hi Anika ,
I think It’s scary to raise kids anywhere in the world for that matter. Somehow given totally different situations comparing East /West environments are like comparing apples and oranges. Moreover I see many of our kids at temples cultural events learning our language classical music dance and other instruments that’s part of our heritage and culture. I believe parents are doing their best to inculcate our values and trust that they did their job to the best of their ability. If due to curiosity or peer pressure or growing up in western culture makes kid explore then it’s purely a choice. It’s tough to be an American born Indian kid. Positioning oneself in their shoes one will know how hard it is to balance being Indian at home and within Indian community while being western and be able to mingle among the western friends in their land. Tough to be an ABCD

 

Its scary for indian parents in abroad.
I see many parents send thier kids to india for college for this reason.
In india we have society as police, here even a 3 yr old talks back, stands up for thier words.
All in god's hand.
In india almost 80% of kids something behind back. In US they do in openly.

 

Virginity even in India or other conservative society mostly applies only to females. Sometime I feel that it is an attempt by male dominated society to make sure that their women are untouched before marriage. No one questions or test the virginity of a man. Isn't it double standard ? Those who roam around before marriage demands a virgin as wife. Can a woman demand a virginity test on her future husband in India. The child marriages in some religion or regions are attempt to preserve virginity of girls. Even women are raised with that belief.

I honestly think preserving virginity only for life partner, the special one, is a good idea (We hear all the time about Sita, Savithri & other stories). May it is one reason for life long commitment in married life in conservative societies. But in liberal society, sometimes experience also matters.

I agree that many in India are virgins till marriage. But now a days youngsters in India are exploring their sexuality like those in US or other developed countries, mostly in metros or big cities. I am aware that it happens in rural areas too. But all these happens behind their curtains or behind everyone while maintaining a good face. Isn't it hypocrisy? Those in developed countries are at least honest about themselves.

One of my relative studied in a Medical college where many US NRI's send their children for studies, she mentioned to me that most of those NRI kids are leading American life. So sending kids to India don't assure good moral values. I also personally know two Indian students in US university campus living together just for fun. They separated once they completed their MS. My cousin, a teacher in India, also told me that how difficult it is to keep an eye on her students. Many are now fearless to explore their sexuality given a chance and even in school campus. So Indian culture or environment or upbringing alone dont assure anything.

All we can do is make them aware of the situation and our culture. There are many families in US where kids are in a traditional settings like in India, trained in Indian music, dance culture etc. But I feel forcing them to follow Indian culture while living in a liberal society is lot of pressure on them. I know an India women worried about her daughter for not having a boyfriend because her peers consider that as someone with orientation issue. So we cannot generalize. But there are families who talk this very openly with kids and tell them that they can consider it once they reach college or mature enough to handle a serious relationship . But they have to focus on their studies and career first. I agree with Hazelpup that it is tough to be an ABCD ( american born confused desi)

May be other Ilites with teenage children can give more idea on how to handle these situations.

 

With in my work experience as a teacher for higher secondary class in India, and now being in USA and a new mom I will say it is very tough to raise kids all over the world. Teachers, parents and society should all join together to develop children.

 

Really happy to see children learning classical music and dance.

 

Very true! I have also seen many parents sending their kids to do their bachelors /masters to India to learn Indian culture and values.I used to wonder why and how will it be an impact on them? Definitely parents wont be around kids to have watch on them. And even if the kids are staying in relatives house or close by , they cant know in and out what tat person is doing outside home.

 

Rapes are very common in india than here.
Girls r not allowed to stay late nights out by parents bcuz of fear.
I have always felt at more ease here in USA.
I have been groped ,pushed in public transportation in india.

 

Hi @sindmani
New Mom!!!!
So happy for you!!!
Pink or Blue

 

Congratulations sindmani. Boy or girl??