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Just another story

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by flowerdaisy, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. flowerdaisy

    flowerdaisy New IL'ite

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    Hi Every one,

    I like the forum ,just venting out about my dh


    Iam very sad because of certain things,sorry for the long post

    1.He was not happy since the beginning of our marriage,no excitement that a newly married person would have,all the 3 years of marriage he is grumpy with no fault of mine

    2.He gave importance to his family 100 times more than me

    3.He never misses a chance to criticize me in public &family,tries to correct me all the time which makes me feel very very low

    4.He was not supportive during the critical phases like sickness,career.,parenting,what ever little help he does is out of force from me but not out of love

    5.He makes decisions for me even though I told him they aren't helpful,he pressurizes me to follow them,in one word he controls me,in one word he thinks he is the best decision maker and he can't go wrong :bonk

    6.He doesn't have any interest to improve our marriage ,if I send any mails regarding marriage improvement articles he doesn't even bother to open them,If I try to discuss any issue in a pleasant manner he just avoids this has been happening since the beginning of our marriage

    7.He wants me to be supportive in achieving his career dreams,which Iam glad to do so,but he doesn't support me in achieving my goals


    8.He can't bear me relaxing or even resting

    9.Makes me low all the time,blames me for each&every little to major things,even if he does some major mistakes in life he blames me when I was not even aware of what is going on

    10.He makes mess & he expects me to clean,this applies to normal hygiene in the house to major issues in the life

    11.Most of the time I feel depressed because of him

    12.I came to to find that my in-laws are his no.1 priority in his life,Iam just dirt to him,we stayed in the in-laws house for some time who created nasty fights between us
    because of over intrusion in the financial matters and severe financial abuse literally the paycheck should go to their account,it continued for long time,when I expressed my concern i was told it is their money,I was not earning so I was supposed to keep dumb,,lots of thing happened like these,my DH cheated and lied to me several times
    regarding very crucial financial matters of our life,finally Iam told that just because his mom delivered him and raised him she can do whatever she wants,he intends to be the slave of her emotionally& financially and wants me to be the same,at this point I oppose his view ,I don't mind to support their financial needs and other essential expenses but can't imagine her to spend my life with her as a joint family and put my life in a serious trouble :spin

    13.He doesn't do his fair share of chores,Iam always overloaded

    14.He comments &compares my height, features with the models&the heroines and belittles me

    15.He doesn't appreciate me for my commitment,dedication,hard work for the family,that's o.k.instead always finds faults with me,I just feel anxious when he is around

    16.I told him about my depression,he least bothers

    17.If at all his folks sneeze he makes a big deal about it

    Though he has good qualities too I just don't want to mention because they are reserved only for his folks


    in short he is an egoistic,lazy,manipulative ,trouble maker to me

    He is not interested to go to a lawyer which I always initiate,he doesn't love me but I am puzzled why he does this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:idontgetit:
     
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  2. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    What i could think of for,
    Why he does this?
    is bcoz he has got a punch bag, doormat in the name of wife...

    u r asking/waiting for him to go to a lawyer?
    Am surprised how u r maintaining ur emotional balance so long with much emotional abuse.

    All the best...
     
  3. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    It has been three years of marriage, now it's time for you to put a strong foot. Do only what you can regarding household chores and if he criticises let him do it. If you feel like taking rest do it & don't let him think that he can disturb you. If he critises you in public or before family, walk out of the place.
    Let him keep his parents & family on high pedestal, that should not bother you. What's important is how he is treating you. If you are not treated properly, do the same thing to him. You take care of yourself, put yourself & the kids first. When you are relaxed & rested you can deal with him better.
     
  4. flowerdaisy

    flowerdaisy New IL'ite

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    Thank you for your replies,

    blackbeauty84 ,let me try your suggestions


    shruthisp,Thanks for empathizing ,may be its god's grace to have balance
     

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