Is It True?

Men are generally sandwiched and stuck between 2 sides - Wife and sister/mother. Balance is really important. If all sides are sensible, issues are less. Wife should be more important but sisters should not be ignored either.

 

Could be the case that we always expect more and think the person loves the other person more (no matter we are in the sibling role or spouse role). Once you get confident abt the relshp, then these silly comparisons wont arise.

 

And that is a lousy attitude by him, to be frank. That is shameful.

 

Love and affection towards any individual be it the wife, be it the sister , it waxes and wanes over time.

It's never going to be the same over the 365 days of an year.

So, it is incorrect to say that your husbands love towards his sister is more than that towards you.

 

The love and affection between siblings will continue to be the same if they are reasonable people. It is different from the love you share with your spouse. So, comparison makes no sense.

My bro continue to love me the same as he did before. Even I am also the same. We are 3 siblings, and we are always like one unity.
We never let others down at any circumstance.

I never had issues with my H for being so much attached to my siblings. He accepted it, understood it and joined the gang.
So, my bro and sis treats my H as another elder bro.

My sister's H is also the same. He knew everything about us. We too have no issues with him. We are one team.

But my bro's wife initially bothered so much about my bro's love and affection for us (we sisters) and for our kids. She developed a weird kind of insecurity and often planned how to distance us. Due to such insecurity, she often fought with my bro, which even distanced them emotionally.
So she would imagine, it is us (we sisters) who are in between the couple; hence the emotional break ups.

She has clearly cut all the ties from her birth family after marriage. In fact, no one expected her to do that, but she prioritized her marital home first. Besides, her relationship with her 2 sisters were never that great. They often have jealous on each other, and competed.
So, moving away from them wasn't a big deal for her. She expected her H to do the same. Her argument is, that I have detached from my folks, so why can't you do the same. This has created a lot of hiccups in the families initially.

Fast forward to now... A couple of years back, when my bro was sick and down with Dengue, we sisters left everything behind to stay with him in the hospital. Our spouses too contributed a lot then.
SIL was pregnant then, and she couldn't do much at that time.
Then my bro had to face some unexpected financial crisis. But we sisters helped him to bounce back in no time by sharing our wealth.
These two incidents made my SIL come to reality.
Perhaps after this realization, she has stopped feeling insecure about our presence, rather accepted us as their support system.
For the past few years, my SIL has been another sister to us.

From my understanding, it is the insecurity and bad social learning of the DIL that causes rifts between siblings (sisters and brothers).

I see my young son and DD are bonded so much, that one can not spend a day without the other. They are like twins, and more of best friends.
I know that they will be eventually getting married and settled in life. But how come this love fade away? And why should they even distance from each other.

Besides, do we stop loving our elder kid after having second one?
Do we stop loving our siblings after having a new friend?
Do we stop loving our wife after having a kid?

All these relationship are meant to be different. We must prioritize them differently.

A sister is not a wife material. A man can never think or treat or love his sister the way he loves his wife. It is impossible.
Then why this confusion?

 

love is not a quantifiable entity. no one has yet discovered a formula to calculate how much you love another person. Brothers tend to be protective of sisters , this is a universal thing . its that bond which starts at an early age. bond with wife develops with time . if you feel lack of love from your husband its nothing to do with his sister , its something you and your husband have to work on.

 

Very well said.

 

We are now living away from my husband's family but I have seen that he supports his sister in things he would never have supported me. I was supposed to be this ideal bahu but his sister married without her future mother in laws consent. Now it seems after three years of marriage her mil is staying with her for the first time. So that was announced at home...so silly he is. He then started telling me how well the boys brother is earning...was tempted to say something but kept my mouth shut.

All depends on the family. Some women are ridiculous and go all out trying to intrude into their brothers life. Men are dumb or they pretend to be so. Most of them are incapable of balancing. They are brought up that way.