Is it a crime to have an only child?

Hi savyaasaachi,

I totally accept with you. I don't understand why they behave so weirdly, when we say we are happy with one child.they even say let me see" in another three years there will one more child in your hands". God this statement annoys me to the core, it's as if they are cursing us or something.

Regards
Dinky

 

Hi savyaa
Thank god i am not alone...
I hear these questions on daily basis and i am tired of answering them.
I guess because giving advice is free thats the reason ppl give it sooo often.
;-)

 

No..it is not a crime or anything wrong! Its because we get doubts like this that get reflected on our faces...that leads to these nosey parkers to ask such pesky questions. More often than not,its from the ILs side,so one has to think before replying. So I don't bother,in such cases.Just give my fixed smile and keep nodding.Anyway I'm considered a dumbo ..so have to keep up with appearances,right? But I also get into a fix if they keep cornering me,wanting a direct reply. Why don't they ask my H such questions?!

The worst thing is that they ask these questions in front of your child...how could they? My DD doesn't have any such thoughts about being all alone etc ..in fact,I have talked about this to her,and she's fine.But if people keep asking such questions ,she will also think on those lines.As it is,we moms are on a constant guilt-trip!

Like some people say when asked about this..We have one and we are done! Let us be..do whatever you want with your lives!

 

Yes i have also realised this....nobody asks him this question...its me who's targeted ALWAYS

Aahh well said

 

Indians suffer a lot because of their humungous population, still they don't learn their lessons.

OP, kindly resist yielding to pressures!

 

I have a only child and I read this article few months back in cafemom.com. I was like...I am not alone!. Every word said in that article including this piece you have posted is soooooooo truee!!!

People should not interfere in such matters

 

No its not at all a crime. My mom and dad had took similar decision almost 30 years back and they had go through lots of such Y's. I too never had any issues in my childhood but after my marriage i felt bad when my mil even started speaking bad about my parents....i listened to her quietly for few times but later i repented back nicely as she never dare to take up the issue again in front of me.
I too dont why they want to interfere in other's issues so deeply. When we study they love ask when you will be going job, after job when is your marriage, after marriage when's first baby and later the second one...oooooooooooh the list never ends.. Whenever few like people love to throw continous Q's as much possible. Even some people ask me when you will comeback and settle down in India..that too in front of my mom and dad too make them feel awful and some people make me embarass how i have left my dad and mom alone..I hate to meet like such people.Sorry for a long vent.

 

Good to know there are ppl who think this way. I get this question asked constantly. Its as if some written rule that we should have more than 1 kid. I used to smile before, just to avoid more questioning. Now I simply respond we are happy with one child.
Sometimes my DD asks me how come she doesn't have a brother or sister like her frens. I tell her she has cousins and they are all her brothers and sisters, just that we live in diff homes.

 

My older sister got asked "why no baby" after a year of marriage. Her deal MIL told everybody to mind their own business...they would have when ready. She conceived just before I got married. Now it was my turn to be asked. After a lot of issues and a few miscarriages I successfully had a son. Then 4 years later my sister had an unplanned pregnancy. After her daughter was born, my BIL laughingly told me to be prepared to answer the 'no second baby?' question from everybody. So when I went to India for a vacation I was prepared. Got asked by a few nosy "friends"...my reply was: Even I want, unfortunately Wal-Mart said they are out of stock at the moment. Shut them up immediately and left them so dazed, I could easily change the topic or just walk away.
But like Savyasaachi said, they don't know whether we wanted only one child, or whether we want more, but are unable to conceive. When we had issues getting pregnant for the first time, my husband told my MIL on the phone to stop asking if there was any news. He told her that if there was something to share we would. And the more she pesters us, the more we would end up delaying. Love him for that.